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_____________"Hatchet"(2006)____________

This movie Caught me by suprize..I really didnt think it would be as good as it turned out to be.

The whole movie is a comedy/horror/slasher flick that goes by the typical rules of Horror, but makes fun of it, and at the same time it doesnt..

Now the story is, There was this deformed guy named Victor Crowley who when a kid, was accidentally killed by his father with a hatchet when trying to save Victor from the house being on fire.

Now the movie starts with 2 fisher man in a boat,(One Robert Englund) the scenes pretty damn funny for a beggining scene.Now the guys are fishing, and they pretty much get ******** over by a crocadile then Get mutilated by Victor Crowley.

Then gay music kicks it and it cuts to Mardi Gras, and you get to see alot of tits and people acting like douches, then the movie begins..The movie revolves around Ben & Marcus who are with their friends at Mardi Gras to help Ben forget about his Ex.
Ben gets tired of the party scene and to his friends objections he and Marcus go on a haunted swamp tour.

When on the tour they are joined by the guy from "Still Standing" whos making a porno, and the Guy from "Office Space" who got hit by a car. Now the boat scene is pretty damn funny, and it gets the movie to the main point, the whole movie is pretty face paced and leaves you satisfied.
Now they crash the boat, and try to fix it, get attacked by the crocodile from "Lake Plassid" and "Office Space" guy gets his leg chewed up. They head on land, and then a person on the boat named Marybeth tells the story of Victor Crowley(Played by Kane Hodder) and how shes there to find her brother and father(Which you presume is the guys in the beggining).
Now they start to walk and then all of a sudden, Here comes Victor Crowley(Who looks like Jason from Friday the 13th 2/Elephant man/Toxic Avenger) and For a deformed Horror movie villian with a hatchet..Hes pretty damn cool, and pretty damn energetic unlike Jason..
So he Hatchets the Office Space guy in half, and takes out his wife too in a pretty grizzly fashion, then gets shot...Yah, you presume hes dead, but this early in the movie you know its just the beggining..

Now the Still Standing porno guy gets lost, and killed..I dont really remember now that I think of it, most likely he does...

Then Crowley goes after the 1 of girls The Porno guy was with, almost killing her with a Chainsaw Belt sands her jaw off...Holy jesus..then kills the boat driver with a shovel..Which was one of my favorites because his head explodes..and impales the still alive Beltsanded'ed girl killing her..

Now theres only 4 left, and they decied to trick Crowley and kill him with fire, so they try to lure him there, but then realize 1 of them is missing, untill her torso and head are flung at them, by Victor. Ben Throws gasoline on Crowley and Marcus sets him on fire..Its all fine and dandy..untill rain puts it out..Damn you mother nature..

Now they got a hot and toasty killer after them.
They run into a cemetary and Marcus gets ******** over(Atlest the black guy didnt die right away, but they could have tried to save him..)
Then Ben and Mary Beth run like pussys and Ben gets harpooned in the foot by Crowley(He was a World Olympics Gold Medal Winner for Shot Put and Javlin.)

So in a last attempt to kill Crowley whos running like a wild man tward them, they bend the metal pole, which mind you is still in his foot tward Crowley and impale him..Then..This part gets me, just thinking of it..He ripps his foot off of the metal pole..thus making his foot look like a ninja turtle foot.

Now the ending is, their in a boat, for some reason..and they are talking about the happenings that went over all of a suden Marybeth is pulled in by..A tree..hmm..(I wounder why the Croc didnt get her..)Then she gets pulled up by Ben..s Severed arm..Guess what, Victors still alive, and pissed and ..it just ends..no death scene for Marybeth..though you presume she dies..

Now the movie is a good one, although it seems short..but thats a good thing..I like the tagline too..

"It's not a remake, it's not a sequel, and it's not based on a Japanese one. Old school American horror."

Also it seems to have a allstar cast of horror stars..

Overall:

Deaths/Gore:4/5 Theres some really good ones in this
Screams: 3/5 I heard some good ones.
Survivor Girl:3/5 Technicly you dont know if she survives or not..
Villian:4/5 Yah I liked Crowley, seemed like what Jason Should have been..
Final verdict:4/5 Its a Damn Good movie, worth a buy...Infact..I should buy it.. neutral