SIX TIMES TOUGHER THAN SHAFT!!! SIX TIMES ROUGHER THAN SUPERFLY!
Yeah right..
______"The Black Six"(1974)_______
Okay I got this little gem of cinematic s**t at a Dollar Store..
Personally I think thats why americas so great..I mean I got a crazy old movie for a Dollar..Awesome
Let me talk alittle bit...about the case..its not a case at all..ITS JUST A PIECE OF CARDBOARD!
Seriously is just a cardboard envelope type case.
So the cover of this..Evelope's Cover is all 6 of the Black Six With Who Plays them and what team they were on..
So you open this case and what do you see..
Well Bruce lee was the first thing that poped out..Then this little slot like thing where the disk goes..That go to be bad for the DVD...Then in the top left corner it says "Dollar DVD"..Okay that makes scense..I dont think any normal person would pay 10$ for a Cheap dvd in a carboard Envolepe..And benieth that it says:
Full Lengnth Feature Films & Classic Television Program(Well that it certainly is..)
The Hottest Catagories(Okay...)
100s of Titles To Choose From(All I see is 12 DVDs..)
High Quality Digital Transfers(HA!..This is anything but High Quality..)
Bonus Features(...Wait..What?..Theres Specail Features!?..I see none..Damn Lying Cases...Its Polyesters ODORAMA all over again..JOHN WATERS YOU OWE ME A CARD)
The Best DVD Value In The Market Today(I soppose you cant beat a Dollar DVD...)
New Ultra-Slim Package - Collect Them All!(..WHAT?!..These are "Collectables"?!Hell most of the DVD's Here dont even have thier original Poster Art..some are just strange pictures someone made up for it...)
Okay Enough about Cheap a** DVD cases...Lets get to the movie
This movie starts out with a interacial Couple at a Football Field at night, the first of many Football related scenes..
Now apearently they are meeting each other at night because in the town they live there are full of racists..This "Town Without Pity" Couple is then attacked by Jenny King's Brother Moose and his gang. Moose and his gang take Jenny King away and beat Eddie Daniels to death with chains.
It then cuts to the Black Six who go riding in a horizontal line on the road with thier theme song playing, which is pretty good considering what this movie is.
Now heres who the black six are, they are composed of 6 black football players, and are a motor cycle gang, that goes and promotes "Peace & Love" even though they are racist, and beat people up(Hell even kill people)
Now the gangs members are:
Gene Washington (San Francisco 49ers) as Bubba Daniels
Joe Greene (Pittsburgh Steelers) as Kevin Washington
Mercury Morris (Miami Dolphins) as Bookie Garrett
Lem Barney (Detroit Lions) as Frenchy LaBoise
Willie Lanier (Kansas City Chiefs) as Tommy Bunka
Carl Eller (Minnesota Vikings) as Jr. Bro Williams
Each looks silly, wearing wierd looking clothes with bright colors.Now what could The Black Six's first big act of heroism in this movie be!?Take down power mad racists?Save a child from a car?No...Putting Hay in a barn house..Yup, The Black Six are helping the fakest and nicest old lady a person could see..She lets them stay awhile, and then The Black Six take off agian, leading to a really..just silly scene where a Police man talks to the lady about The Black SixThe Qoute:
Police:"You Know How Those People Are.."Old Lady:"Yes..I know how they..are"
Which leads to some Bow-Chicka porno music. So the Black Six then go on to:Fight a bar full of Racists..Which leads to a retarded scene where Bubba starts to promote "Peace & Love"...Then procedes to go and beat up nearly everyone in the bar and they tear it down..Also one thing that really bugged me about this fight is one of The Black Six pins one of the racists agenst a wall..by just putting his foot agenst his chest..Really?..Whatever.
Bubba gets a letter from his Mother and goes back to his home town to get vengence..Around this time in the movie, you start to see less and less of Black Six..and it just becomes The Black One..He goes home, gets yelled at by his brother-I mean sister..looks like a guy though..about him being a Uncle Tom..whatever.He goes around town gathering information when finally he gets it from some drunk in a bar...another wierd thing is they start this whole wierd thing about the Drunk never being there for his son..Was this scene needed?..I mean do I really need to know about a Drunk father and his bad parenting?..
So Bubba goes and Challenges Moose and they fight on this big hillBubba and the Black Six Fight Moose, Thor and a bunch of really..wierd looking people..The wierdest would be the guy who kinda looks like Woody Allen and always is sitting..Well The Black Six literally kill what seems to be 100's of white bikers..but its kinda hard to tell whats happening in this mess of a action scene..
Then suddenly flairs are thrown, and someone explodes..and..thats it..wait what?..then some text appears and says that if any white man mistreats a black person, the black six will come back..okay..its like the Black Supper Friends..
Well this movie is bad..I would go so far as to say its so bad its good..I mean it entertaining..Acting Sucked..Music was catchy..I didnt really care for the characters its a "whatever" kinda thing
Overall:
Cheeseyness:5/5
Ladys:2/5(I dont care what anyone says..Old hookers are NEVER..NEVER...a good idea..Esspecailly nude..)
Theme:4/5 The tune is catchy, the words are retarded..
Villian:1/5
Watchability:3.5/5
Action:2/5
