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I'm alone, on New Years Eve. Staring at a computer screen, hoping I'll get an email or at least some spam. I keep hoping someone will email me, but the actual chances of that happening now at five minutes too midnight are really slim.
I really miss everyone, and I can't wait to get back to school. I know that's a scary thought. 'I can't wait to go back to school.' But I have a hard time keeping in touch with my friends outside of school. It's almost impossible. And I don't really like being home alone. Mom's out most of the time and doesn't get back till six or even seven, Isaac is a jerk, I get depressed and their is nothing to distract me.

I have also realized how stupid and petty my crush is. How could I have ever allowed my feelings to progress so far, I knew my crush would never happen. But I just liked having those feelings, I loved the whole idea of being in love, and deep down I hoped it would happen, even though I knew it never would. And now I'm hurting, I should have nipped it in the bud when I first started to feel the way I did. But now I'm not sure when I started to feel the way I do. Was it after he helped me that day? Or was it when I first met him? Could it have been helped? Could I have stopped myself? What's wrong with me? Why did I have to get hurt like this? I'm glad my friend told me, it would have been embarrassing if I had told him my self. But would it have been better if I had told him? I've been acting like a school girl for close to three months now, and even though I am a school girl I still feel ashamed of how I acted.