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I am infatuated. I have never been this strongly infatuated with someone, but I don't want to start calling it love and blind myself with illusions.
I like this feeling. I can't describe it but I love it. I like talking about it, I like talking about him. I love being with him, I love talking to him, I enjoy every conversation, I love his voice. When he sang Cinderella my heart cried out. He's such a beautiful person, caring, loyal, and friendly. I look forward to any time I can spend with him, and I enjoy every word. I feel horrible when an awkward silence in shared between us, and I beat myself up when he walks away.
He has decided who he likes, and I'm pretty sure I'm not that one. What would he see in me? A pint-sized freshman, who rarely talks, is a spaz and follows Janelle around like a lost puppy. Horrible dresser, messy brown hair, acne pitted face, a nose the size of Toledo, and the face of a grade schooler. He's better off without me.
But I think about another person being with him and I get angry. I get jealous when other girls talk to him, I get jealous when he talks to anyone.
Honestly I'm getting sick of the drama and the self hate I'm putting myself through. I will tell him how I feel.