Why must my mother be qualified to diagnose depression. Tis just my luck. I dont even know what's wrong. My older brother is sick and is trying to get off anti-depressants. My little brother is driving me up the wall with ANYTHING he does. It doesnt even matter what it is any more. Just him being there drives me crazy! I havent really eaten all that well and even when I'm alone or surrounded by my friends I just get this....unsettling feeling I guess is how to put it. I just can't seem to shake it.
I havent really been able to talk to anyone about how I feel. 1, I dont really know what's wrong. 2, Dannie was down for about a month and I didnt want to upset her. 3, Dannie is back up but now Tori is a little down because of family issues. 4, Emily is also dealing with family stress and I'm worried about it too. 5, whenever I think I'm ready to talk to someone about whatever is on my mind, that person or another person tells me about whats wrong with them, so in order to make them not feel bad I keep what I have to say to myself and try to help them get back up. But all the while I think I'm being pulled back down. I'm not saying it's my friends' fault. I'm just saying that to me my friends well being is more improtant than my own, but while I take care of them I forget about myself. And when I have time to myself and am not helping anyone else, I just get this feeling. And when everyone I'm around is happy and cheerful, I still get this feeling.
My mom told me to document everytime I get this feeling, to help to figure out if it's hormones or if it's more than that.
I have a whole bunch of homework but I just dont want to do. I feel lazy and just want to put it aside. It's not like I'm busy with something else. It's that I'm not doing ANYTHING. I'm either on the internet just going to random sites, or I'm sitting in my room, listening to random CDs and playing solitare on my computer. I just dont want to do anything and I dont know why.
Something must be bugging me but I cant put my finger on it. Maybe it is just hormones. Maybe it's something more. Maybe everything that happened last year is finally catching up to me. I dont really know. And I feel like I dont have anyone to talk to. Which I know I do. And I know my friends care, I just dont want to bother them with my useless ramblings. So I'll put on a smiling face, be happy and hope that I eventually truly feel that way. Time will tell.
"I'm tired of hiding behind these lion eyes.
I'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize. " The Wreckers - 'The Good Kind'
View User's Journal
Rose Petals: The Story of the Midnight Rose
This is the story of the midnight rose. Or just somthing for me to do when im bored. I'll type a mini story or what ever i feel like typing that day. So deal with it! Heehee!
 |
~+Draw my OCs+~
Wanna know how much I love you? Go outside when it's raining and count all the raindrops that hit you. All the raindrops that don't hit you is the amount I love you.
~+Come Visit my Shop+~
Wanna know how much I love you? Go outside when it's raining and count all the raindrops that hit you. All the raindrops that don't hit you is the amount I love you.
~+Come Visit my Shop+~
User Comments: [2] [add]
|
Skae the halloweenie Community Member 
|
|||||||||||||||||
User Comments: [2] [add]
Community Member
I'm pretty sure that if you didn't talk to your friends about your problems as well they would become insecure and feel like they weren't as trusted as they thought.
While many times it seems the best to be concerned with others, it's not a constant thing.
Just start talking to someone. I'm sure they would be glad to help you out.
There's always someone who will stop and listen. Even if it's just some random stranger. That's why people haven't died out yet or adapted to asexual reproduction.
;P