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My winds fades... I stare at the stars... And the skies up above... And think "What am I made of?"... Am I full of sorrow? Am I hurt and pained? Or am... I filled... with love~ Those lyrics fill my mind these days. I find myself happy with life in general, yet also very unsatisfied with everything around me. I want more of everything really - more money, more power, more love. Well... what person would not want such treasures filling their lives? I've no idea these days. I find myself clueless in a world that I know everything about. I am an expert in many fields, and I could very well excel at a number of jobs. However, I sit here in this broken computer chair just watching the days go by, waiting for school to start again. Perhaps the disconnection from society has made me lonely. Human's are a social creature, after all. I've had a very social semester, seeing my friends almost every day, and this has led me to get used to their crude jokes, their vulgar words, and their insane wit. How I love those freaks. They're smarter and more philisophical than half the people upon this site. What I wouldn't give to know a life beyond this one I live. Mmm, I really do feel that one of the only things holding me to this site would be my volunteer job. Really, not much else interests me around this place anymore. I've already gained all the wisdom I possibly could have from the GCD, and Barton Town holds nothing I couldn't already accomplish. More and more do I find myself turning off this site and upon games to fill my cravings for enjoyment and satisfaction. They're a constant test - always improving my abilities - and I can play them for hours on end without repeating what I did previously. I hate this body of mine. No, it's not ugly, nor is it dysfunctional in anyway. What I hate is that I'm only nineteen years old (going on twenty soon). As a nineteen year old adult, I shouldn't be thinking such philisophical properties, nor should I possibly know all this knowledge that I have of the world. I'd much rather be in my thirties or even my forties right now. I'd love to be a wise old man rather than the person that I am right now. The only redeeming value of this body is that I look like I'm in my mid-twenties. And I act... like I'm already a parent. Yes, that must sound very weird. I feel like a parent sometimes when it comes to educating others around me. Oh how I wish... that everyone else understood the ways of the world like I did. I wish that people weren't so deviant or dysfunctional. I wish... the world would go by so much more quickly so I could reach a different generation. Sadly, I'm stuck here. Why won't the world grow up?

Posted by: Airez Sat May 13, 2006 @ 09:14am

[b:0e10c9f1f4]Whistling a melody for passing generations...[/b:0e10c9f1f4][/size:0e10c9f1f4][/color:0e10c9f1f4]

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P a r i a h
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Commented on: Sun May 14, 2006 @ 05:54pm


	I can really identify myself with this entry. Feels like I've could have wrote it myself. words are unnecessary

Commented on: Tue May 16, 2006 @ 07:46pm


	X ------> I wonder the same on almost a daily basis. "Why WON'T the world grow up?" I wish everyone else understood the way I see the world, but they don't. Oh well. Saying anyone is "only x years old" is one of the most ridiculous things in the world. Saying something like that is so incredibly limiting to a person. Do you feel "only 19"? No, I don't think so. Do I feel "only 15"? No. I feel 22. xD I sound 12. .__.; I look 16. And that's what people see. That and the fact that I can't possibly know anything for my age. I'm not saying I know everything, or much of anything, just that many other people seem to know a lot less. What's annoying is that people can't grow up faster. But when I think about if I'd want them to or not, I'm stuck in a paradox. People lose innocence as they age, and become concerned with the trivialities of being an "adult." Being a child was so much more fun when I didn't know what it meant. Watching "Hook" yesterday really reminded me that being an adult is overrated if you get caught up in being one. Video games are really too much more interesting and challenging than real life. <3 <------ X

cursedflesh
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fubenkunai
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Commented on: Tue Jun 13, 2006 @ 07:54am


	clings Oh please, let's you and me (and whoever else might fit the bill) run away somewhere and, by virtue of having handpicked the population and isolated ourselves, make the world grow up. I've been killing time until I've got a bona fide career for years, and when it comes to feeling like everyone's parent (Talk about injured surprise, I wasn't the one to have all these children, why am I raising them?!) I think I might be able to give you a run for your money. Sadly, my father tells me the world has a habit of growing older rather than growing up, so welcome to a small, intelligent club of those with badly frayed nerves. gonk

Commented on: Fri Jun 23, 2006 @ 01:21am


	«Spending my days,» Oh Airez; I often find myself woundering the same question. I really want the world to grow up, but I can wait for it to grow up. Because they can't grow up till they are ready. <3 «in a mental institute.»

[GWW Guild Mule]
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mintin
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Commented on: Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 02:59pm


	Acht, I'm impatient for the world to grow up. But I suppose, in the act of being impatient, I'm just hindering the process. Muses I don't know, I wonder about it a lot. Yes, I'm childish, I suppose it's what one would expect at this point in my life. But there's a bit of me, a kind of darker, more adult mintin. And you start to wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing. By being grown up now, am I going to get a false impression of adulthood, or am I going to miss out on something? I suppose it's just a matter of finding a balance. ... Your journal entries make me think too much. >.>

Commented on: Thu Sep 14, 2006 @ 08:00pm


	Ah yes, the world. Its full of creeps, sicko's, and people doing childish things. Your question fits this problem, "when will the world grow up?" We as a people need to grow up.

Bloodgasm
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Vieulle
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Commented on: Thu Sep 28, 2006 @ 07:05am


	What a selfish question and yet, how I adore it because of itself. You beg for the shell of your ego's reflection and ask for what is already there. How lucky you are not to be encased in a lifetime of exterior youth, that vainly you'd clutch to a desire with no fruition. (Mind you that much of exterior youth is expressed in height.) Asking a question you already know your own answer to, only to absorb the notions of others into the collection that you already had said to reside in yourself. At least you will be able to educate others without falling under your own repetitive question. Questioning of whether you yourself are fit to judge your own clarity at such an age. Or am I wrong? Is it that with every new year, you only realize how youthful you really are- and hope that in skipping the years you will begin to progress? Some of the world won't "grow up", because they fear that youth has the unattainable potential of of their present evanescent joy.

Commented on: Sun Oct 22, 2006 @ 02:57am


	It's true this world need to grow up. People have this tendency to over dramatise every thing especialy at my work. Rumors about coworkers flare up every day. The negativity it brings really drags me down especialy when I have to play reff between coworkers. gonk crying The sad part is the owner of the bar, (only store in town) died today cause of a bar fight. One of the guys punched him in the chest and killed him. gonk crying Stupidity at its fineist. sigh I suppose if there wasn't any inmature people in this world there wouldn't be any one to laugh at, or make our lives missrible (sp?). eek gonk crying The up part is they make our lifes more interesting either postively or negitively. mrgreen

LaceyLove
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