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Lately, I've been living a series of piss-arse sorry moods; more times than not, they're related to GAIA Online.

For the past few weeks, I've really hated logging on to the site some times. I swim around the currents of the forums and I find little things that irk me. No, not the normal people I deal with on a daily basis, but deeper issues that make me cringe whenever I see them. It's really turned me off from the site and pushed me into checking out different aspects of the virtual life. Good in some respects; bad in others.

Either way, it doesn't help that I still feel a pit in my stomach while writing up this message. I know why I'm agitated, and I'll keep that to myself, but I honestly don't think it's that great of a reason to feel this way. It's very selfish, and slightly ego-related, and that's really why I find my reaction unnecessary. In essence, it's primal. I hold myself as being a fairly enlightened individual that dwells deep into rich philosophies that explain the workings of the world and the people within it. However, emotions and what not tend to toss a wrench in the workings of those philosophies, making them seem moot in a realistic manner. Hoping for something that's seemingly impossible -- dreaming of a fantasy. The philosopher and writer within me loves to grab hold and nurture the ideals of such worlds being made possible and such meanings being brought to life.

Still, the realist in me laughs at such thinking and gives me a nice punch in the gut sometimes whenever those dreams are bombarded by reality. A fine slap in the face as my body gives my mind some of it's own medicine. "Hey there, buddy, guess your "truth" isn't all it's cracked up to be, huh?"

What a pain in the rear. I swear, this sort of thinking isn't healthy for me at all. Pain and agony are to tell a person that something isn't right, yet I stick around for the most of it. Ignorance is bliss, as they say, but what is bliss without pain?

I really need to get some warm soup in me or something. Cambell's Chicken Noodle Soup should do just fine.