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Rambaling Random thoughts on God..... |
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I have been feeling rather lonely lately. I have found some strength in a friend that is always there for me and has always been there for me, whether I realized it or not. Whether I wanted it or not. God.
God. I keep turning to Him, and talking to Him. I am spiritual in my own way. I guess I don't feel so lonely when I know that He is always with me. I just wish that I had a human man to comfort me and hold me too. I know I ask for so much, when I have already been given so much. I feel selfish when I think about it.
I went to a church talk tonight. I didn't agree with every thing, but I still liked listening. He made some good points, and I realized something as well. I am not meant to be shut up just in a church. I am meant to live out what I think and believe, loving Him and trusting Him. I need to go out into the world and share the love that I have to offer to all, because I have been blessed with so much of it.
I have always felt that some of the most spiritual people are those who are lost, or have nothing. I also feel that people that are not church goers can have a purer hart then some that do. I don't always understand what they are saying, and I don't know every thing, but are we really supposed to? I mean what would be the point in knowing every thing? Why should we know Everything? I mean look what we have done with the knowledge that we have been given. We have forsaken it, we have used it for our own purposes selfishly. We do not know ourselves and can not yet know God fully. I realize that we can’t know every thing. We can’t understand. There is so much hear to try and comprehend, as is. If I find myself questioning, wondering, or so caught up in my speculations on why and how with God, that I loose the point, I just tell myself that I am not meant to know, and some how it helps. We each have our place, and mine is not His. Non of our place is his, though he loves us just the same.
I feel like God made us and has a plan for us, and we were built for that plan, what ever it may be. I feel that we will do it whether we know it or not. There are those I believe that are built for something bad, but I think that we, in a way, need people like that to show us the light, the good that is out there. I feel that, though it makes God sad that people do not believe in Him or do not love Him or want to oppose Him, He loves them any way. He may want other things for that person, but knows that they may choose a different path. I think he knows what we will chose, but we do have that choice and we are the ones who make it.
Am I making any cense to any one? I just need to try and explain it to my self some times. I don't think there is one answer to anything. I mean, if there was then nothing would be really real would it? Life is life and life is a lesson we must live. It may be hard, sad, rocky, painful, or depressing, but you must look past all that and into the future. For you can not change what has been, just learn from it. You must look for all the good, not the bad, for those who get caught up in the bad, lose sight of what is really important. Love. I mean isn't that what sums it all up? We as humans crave it and want it more than anything else, we desire something to fill up our empty crevasses. It is the closest thing to Magic and Heaven we have on Earth.
Well, I believe that all humans are capable of Magic in there own way, but you have to believe in it and want it. I think that every human being has a power only God knows of, and he can help you find it and use it for good. Though I think that perhaps one can find it then shield there eyes to the truth of it’s source.
I don’t really know if I believe in the Devil. I often times wonder if It is simply another side of God. Well no, that’s not right either. It is hard to explain, but perhaps someone else feels the same. I mean it is as if he were two different people but the same. Like the 3 in one only different. As if He cast that 4th part of Himself away because He knew what It was capable of. Perhaps he thought that it would help people if there was a black and white rather than all mixed together. But it didn’t work, because It still lives, somehow. That evil part of Himself still has power over people and the world, though God has more because He was the one who cast It away to begin with. Well Evil is a relative term, I should say dark, sad, angry, hurtful, hateful, painful, gloomy, or all of them and more, that I am shore all of you can think of. I feel as though His love for His’ creation was so pure that the tainted bit of Himself would ruin It if it continued to live in Him. So he severed himself of all that was harmful in hopes that it would destroy It and It’s power. But It wouldn’t give up life so easily, It survived though week, sliding to Earth deeskyzed as a creacher of God’s making. Instead all of these hurtful emotions built up with It’s dismissal, and It wanted revenge and Power again. It went down and tricked the two humans into eating the forbidden fruit. I also feel, though it seems almost to contradict my thoughts, that perhaps God had planed them to eat the fruit from the beginning, or perhaps when he discarded the evil, he wanted his creations to be happy and have free choice so he told them not to, knowing that of coarse this would make them curious. Though perhaps He did not see Evil’s part in this. Though this doesn’t go though all the way either because God knows all…. Wait… I am doing it again aren’t I. I am looking into things that don’t mater sweatdrop See what I mean. I just get carried away sometimes.
Well were was I before I got side tracked……. Ah, yes…. Lets see. Ok he also said something that caught me too….. What was it again…….. Let me think for a sec….
*1 hour later*
sweatdrop perhaps I will remember later… crying
 Trixal · Wed Feb 27, 2008 @ 03:18am · 0 Comments |
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