Ok this dream I had last night kinda takes the cake for weird a** s**t. Literally.
First thing that happened was I went into an abandoned room which for some reason was a warcraft auction house owned by my friend Anthony, abandoned because said friend was visiting China, but my cat Cupcake was there, and also various huge tins of weird raw meat. I was using a laptop in the corner, which was the only thing in the room besides these tins, when my cat got into one of the tins of raw meat and started eating it.
I was suddenly worried he'd get really sick and was going to shoo him away, but he'd already eaten so much, I figured cats in the wild eat all raw meat so it'd be ok. After that he got into another tin which was filled with raw sardines. I couldn't be arsed to control him while I was on this laptop.
My sister then came into the room as my cat had grabbed this tubular stick of orangey-pink plastic and was devouring it. As he finished it my sister informed me that this would cause my cat to have diarrhea RIGHT AWAY. I was like "awww s**t," hoping my cat would make it to the cat box, but he instead turned into a human on all fours with his a** straight in the air and started spewing a an orangey-pink foam from his a**, like with the consistency of caulking but about the thickness of a human turd, which landed in a pile on the floor. He did this twice, one big pile and one small pile.
After that these piles turned into orangey-pink stuffed animals. One was a sheep about waist high, the other was a sheep about mid-calf high. My sister decided it would be best to take these to the dumpster and took them out.
I watched her take them to the dumpster down a driveway and outside a fence, and as she was about to throw them away a dude pulled up and started talking to her. Somehow even though I was watching from afar I could both get into their conversation and could not at some points. The guy wanted the stuffed animals. My sister was like no, I'm throwing them away (impliedly because they came out of an a**, but she didn't say that outright). The dude said he needed them to get an achievement for having every toy, and he was part of the Heritage Foundation and once he was optimally settled on having a toy he had to have it to get the points for it. He paid my sister $100 not to throw them away, put them in his truck bed and drove off.
When my sister came back into the room I was in I was like, "you shouldn't have let him have them! They smell awful! Like they came from an a**!" (Maybe because they did?)
And she was like, "but he paid me $100."
And I just decided I guess if he was that dead set on having stinky toys for $100 hopefully he knows how to clean them to get the rancid smell out.
Then I woke up.
DangerSqueezit Community Member 
|
|
