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Oh, how it's been some time since the last journal entry!
I say that, but it's only been a month, hardly the longest time I've gone without typing an entry.

I think a part of why I haven't written an entry in a month is because of how busy things have been. In addition to classes rolling out the midterms, there's been a lot of things happening back home and elsewhere. Family things, friend things....I've kinda been in tatters. Although I'm not sure if that's really a surprise anymore at this point. It's apparent that my emotional health has been slowly deteriorating faster than it recovers.

Those aside, the seasons are changing, it's getting colder and relationships are frosting over. Both getting cold and hard to hold onto. It's not like I want to let go, it's just.....maybe my heart is getting colder and harder against others. Like how a miserable mood sometimes drives people to seek behaviors that induce more misery. Feeling alone so you withdraw from others.

At any rate, I'm finding it difficult to type this out to the general populace. I usually type things with a specific audience in mind, either one person or several. Without someone in mind.....I often can't find what to say. I think I just wanted to put out a journal entry because of the lyrics "Seasons change, I kept getting colder, breathing shades of grey" in "Don't Say" by Hoang. I've been listening to that song quite a bit lately. Thinking of sending it to someone as a good bye.

I've been thinking of good byes too often lately. It's like it's the season where I want to just cut everything off. It's saddening and lonely. I don't like it, but the mood itself brings about more thoughts for that mood to feed off of. What a vicious cycle....

Well, take care of yourself in this colder season!
Get lots of sleep, eat some good food and take care of yourself.
For you should know that you are oh so loved and so, so precious.