Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

My life I have never understand why so many had to die. My life is cover in blood and most of it is in my own hands and yet I never want it I never want blood. All that change on one day and that day I shall remember because that’s when I truly woke up form my sleep form the fog that cover my very eyes. I don’t know how I end up on this long road or how this bullet hole end up in my body but now I lay here holding on to life that I once wish not to have.


It was a like any normal day for me but this was the day it change this when everything I thought I knew was trash right in front of me. “Lin get up your going to be late to school once again! God why cant you be like your brother he is never late.” I rolled out of my bed and like an idiot I was fell flat on the floor with a load thug sound. “…. ouch.” I said in a low voice as I slowly got up to see the clock it was 7:30 school started at 7:45 I was running late again. I quickly rush around the room like a headless chicken getting my close on and grabbing my messenger bag which I relies was half empty when I grabbed it. I turn to look at my desk to see all my books and papers were there. I sigh as I quickly pick up my stuff and shove them into my bag. I looked down at my risk watch which now read 7:38. There was no way in hell I was going to make it in time and this would be my third time being late this week. “oh good… help me.” I said in a low voice as I quickly rush out of my house on the way out I said bye to both my mom and dad I didn’t give them enough time to answer me I was going to be late AGAIN. I quickly rush to the garage and grabbed my bike and took off full speed.
Just like normal I was late Mr. Root was anger at me and told me that a good person in life was on time I just looked at him. Half the time I was here on time you were late you should listen to your own advise. I thought as I just sat down I had to stay after school once again god why did I love sleeping so much let alone why did I love staying up so late. Oh well I couldn’t change that at this moment I would have to go throw today knowing it would be one of my longest days of my life since I couldn’t go home at 3:45 but at the lovely time of 4:20. As Root started to talk I just took my notepad out and started to draw like I normal did. I drew anime hell most of the people I knew love anime and were about 20 times better than me when it came down to drawing; however, Mr. Root had other plans instead of letting me draw like he normal would he called on me to tell the class a poem I had wrote not to long ago and showed him. I blush slightly as I want to fight against this but I couldn’t because this was how Root work he normal get someone else but these two weeks would be nothing but poems and he knew I was into this for the fact I had been writing some before we even got to this subject. Yes if you haven’t figure it out by now Mr. Root is my Speech teacher. “Come on Lin tell the class of a poem you have wrote.” I just nodded my head as I took a breath and turn to the class with a smile. “Uh…. Hello guys…” I was deeply shy of people for some wired reason I just couldn’t do this.
I close my eyes and then took one last breath as I looked down at my paper. “The name of my poem is called Unsure.” I said with my normal voice as I got ready to act my poem yes I had wrote down acting notes for my poems.

I started off soft and my voice grow loader and loader as I got to the last line. I once had felt like this it was a deep feeling I could never get ride of but there was much more to this than these words. I felt like I want to cry but held my self.

I kept my movement up as I completely forgot about the room as if I was never there in the first place. I remember the events that made me feel like this that made me feel so unsure of my own thoughts. I remember willing to give up and cry myself to sleep.

I said all this with a strong but yet soft voice I had move form the front of the room to the back and for some wired reason the class kept looking me. Yet I didn’t open my eyes to look at them. Once in a while I would to make sure I wasn’t running into any item and all.

I pause to see most of the class were shock that I could write something like this, but I also got the feeling may of them now thought I was some freak or some emo kid that cut myself. I just slightly nodded my head as I went back to my set and sat down. Mr. Root was shock by the poem it self. He had been trying ever since I got in high school to get me to join the debate team but I had always said no for my own reason. I was just to lazy to do all that work.
“Well… nicely done Lin.” I just nodded my head slightly “Thank you.” I said with a smile as I just looked at the others getting ready for the laughter and other comments. My life in school was hell the only time I ever felt safe was with my friends or at home alone. “Okay class as you heard Lin’s poem that what we are going to be doing for the next two weeks.