**new pages begin in sets of twelve. untrimmed.
i'm so strong, it's weak.
-
i love where i am.
there's nothing else i could want from life.
-
my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. so won't you kill me so i die happy?
my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery; whichever you prefer.
hands down, this is the best day i can ever remember.
i'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers,
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late.
this moment we share together- and the streets were wet,
and the gate was locked so i jumped it and i let you in,
and you stood at your door with your hands on my waist...
and you kissed me like you meant it. and i knew that you meant it,
that you meant it, that you meant it.
and i knew that you meant it.
you meant it.
;
i've lived this moment.
i've lived fulfilled real love.
-
i've never wanted you more than i do tonight.
ever.
i sing this song,
and i sing it for you.
-
falling in love is one of the best parts.
-
ugh.&3
;
and it's so vulnerable,
it's so scared,
but i'm willing to open my heart up for you.
love is for fools.
i can't wait to kiss you.
;
your text after like, 3:00? i pretty much squealed like a little girl, haha.
oh my god, i haven't felt that giddy.
-
god!
i'm in love!
-the highlight of tonight is your call.
and you call after sevennn.(:
;
this morning started out really interesting.
i'm not sure which part of it made it special.
it feels really magical in retrospect.
huh.
odd.
there's something...
-
dude anita's really cool.
like mad chill.
and you know, she's one of those girls that you would already knew that of, even though she isn't loud in class.
she has this way of carrying herself.
ha, i like her.
i should sit on that side of the room more often.
;
if you shared first period with me,
you wouldn't recognize me in fifth period.
;
i can't skip/be late anymore
because i already have four tardieslsdjgklsg.:c
that blows!
when's fourth quarter?
-
perfectionism;
-getting fussed up to as good or better as last time.
-getting pissed off that you did worse than last time.
-extreme drive to be the best, and dissatisfaction for anything less.
-getting pissed off that someone did better than you.
...
-
okay.
fifth period in itself is the best ******** period of the day.
lunch is hilarious!
jordan sits with us now.
and david sits with us every day, except for one.
total mood booster.
;
i love our crazy ******** jokes.
i can't even describe it.
we're just so damn cocky and smooth, but it's silly.
idfk.
kylea gets it.(:
kylea laughs at it!
she puts up with me haha.(:
last night she called me, and needed to be calmed down because she was scared.
but aw, i wasn't there for her.
'cause i was watching porn or something. lmfao. but. ):
i wish i could have picked up.
but yeah,
we're really close this year.
she means a lot to me.
and i know she knows that.(:
with her, it's a mutual bond.
i'm pretty sure my friendship with her has had a different course than any of the rest.
i've never had any tension or instability with her.
and we got close from the start.
weirddd.
-
kjsdghdsg i swear to god,
i was glowing the entire day.
i'm still glowing!
god, you've made me so happy.
********, ********
i want a lot of things right now.
most of them revolving around you.
you.
you...
-
being grounded suckss!
makes me miss becca the most 'cause she doesn't go to this ******** school.
;
my bond with shanice is the best.
seriously?
nothing comes between us.
not even girls,
haha!
--seriously though.
my bond with her runs deepest.
i value it so much. so much.
;
you know what's funny?
i've only hung out with kylea twice.
twice!
-
i feel so
complete.
"the sky glows; i see it shining when my eyes close"
-
i'm proud of who i am.
and in psychology, during the emotion unit and the stress&health unit,
i fit every part of the general characteristics shared by happy people.
it was enlightening, really.
-
one of the things i love most is knowning how much you love me.
seriously?
you make it so clear.
it's that security.
seriously, when i describe you to shanice and kylea and everyone, one of the best things is "she makes me feel safe."
idk, i guess it's kind of gay, but it means a lot to me. really.
-
"you've never seen me happy, have you?"
sorry, but i know i have.
-
burning like a beacon,
yeah, maybe i'm a little depressed.
-
i'm getting really, really worried.
i swear, if you ******** got shot.
got killed.
my fragile soul would not withstand it.
-
your phone answered.
your phone hung up.
your phone has gone straight to voice mail since.
what the [********].
-
do you dream of things so impossible?
or only the practical?
or ever the wild?
do you wait all your bad days just to end them with someone you care about?
-
i wish i had more time./:
-
if they taught latin or hebrew at our school?
that'd be ******** badass.
and,
if i were to ever major in history, it'd be russian history. culture is boss.
;
i don't care if i have quests.
stop logging me the ******** out.
-
there's a difference between wisdom and dull knowledge.
-
this is the end.
this story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear,
this is the calm.
calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath.
we are the risen.
i am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea.
after the storm.
i spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean.
rest in the sea.
i know that this is what you want, a funeral keeps both of us apart.
washed up on the beach.
you know that you are not alone, i need you like water in my lungs.
-
oh my god, i'm in love with a bad kid.
oh my ******** god haha.
i just realized that.
god.
you are so illegal.
and i think the smoking's getting to be too much for me.
you just keep forgetting the things i say.
-
i'm tired of having my schedule revolve around work.
it's really ******** stupid.
-
well i wrote your name and burned it to see the color of the flame.
and it burned out the whole spectrum as if you were everything.
mine just burned gold. a normal flame; “i am not anything.”
and all that i remember is the feeling of waking up.
we were kids, you were the sun to which my eyes would not adjust.
we were kids, i was a fountain; you could never drink enough.
then came all the boys who swept you up, playing careless with your heart.
every night there was a new girl sitting beside me in my car.
something dies when you grow older, but you do the best you can.
i am glad... i am glad you found a good man.
-
i'm tired of being high
all the time.
when can i come down and real up?
-
1. psychology.
- i have to do the psychology test.
- read up the eight pages of the schizo DSM-IV.
2. world history
- probably 10 pages./:
3. BETA & NHS bullshit.
- find mrs. loehr.
- decide on the presidential office.
4. english
- FCAT extra credit.
5. chemistry
- chromite MCN project
- begin periodicity s**t.
-
i woke up with no energy though.
no ******** energy.
why the ******** don't i have control over my energy? why is procrastination a ******** disease?
all i did today,
was read on a biography on brand new,
read the latest news of the brand new street team,
sneak out to hang with becca,
and talked to tai.
oh, and eat and complain.
oh, and think about you all day.
-
know what really tears me up?
war movies.
i've never seen a war movie that was so passionate and heartbreaking.
like, ********, that one with ******** whats his face, mel gibson?
hooooly s**t, the letters sent to wives.
touching stuff son.
make a grown man cry.
-
k, seriously?
what i told becca?
i'm tired of clinging onto a ******** illusion.
i am what i am,
even parts of me that i don't want to be.
do me a favor, baby don't reply.
i can dish it out but i can't take it.
-
on the phone earlier;
"god, i have so much to do."
"yeah, like me, hahahaha."
"oh man, that'll take hours."
"haha, you wish; i'd never let you ******** me.
.. well maybe. maybe i would. wait, i mean, nevermind. change the subject."
i've kind of thought about that all day.
you'd really let me in, or were you on the pot too?
-
k, so, kim from ******** america's top model? (LOL, me even watching ATM?)
is ******** hot s**t. adrogynous as ********, but still pulls off the sexy without being a dyke.
ten dollar bill she's gay.
-
********!
NEW AP ISSUE AT MY DOOR!
******** yeah.
it's about time.
hahaha ******** yes.&3
-
so.
big congrats to all the cali, texas, and NJ/NY kids are there.
having said that,
i'm really ******** disappointed in seeing the bamboozle tour in ads every single year.
it's pretty much the next big thing after warped tour.
maybe even better.
yeah, probably.
but god.
it sucks so much they don't come here.
it really, really blows.
they always have the best lineups.
-
this is why craig owens is set apart from the rest.
he is actually a musical artist.
he has experience.
he's done so much with his career, rather than sticking with one damn band.
-
"hope is real and beauty still happens."
who doesn't want to embrace this movement's message with open arms?
-
LOOOL
i can't believe
i'm still calling you
on my phone when it's broken.
it's like,
"call. ring. no voice made." WHOOPS.
idk why i keep forgetting it's broken.
-
i really, really appreciated it
when you said,
"the other girls, i can't have conversations like the ones i have with you.
our conversations are amazing."
i got all,
ijdlkgklg.
that means so much to me.
idk, conversation is just.
it's something i really value.
;
OH MY GOD YOU CALLED?
-
i really don't care to read old love letters to shanice lmfaolmfao.
god it's so weird.
hahaha wow.
;
you give me want i want.
you are want i need.
you're so kissable and soft.
-
god i miss you.
call meeeee.
you make me feel so safe.
you almost didn't come to school today.
i'm glad you came.
;
shanice was all,
"i think you're falling for her."
-
i've never fallen for eyes.
ever.
until you came around.
i never knew what people meant by all the poetry for eyes.
but yours... god. they're mesmerizing.
-
i love you, baby.
you make my heart soar.
-
k, so srsly?
before being grounded i'd come home, and just chill at the square or go to the city with becca, jess, tina.
and most of the time someone else.
but now, being grounded!
sad face.
-
she thinks i'm amazing hahaha.
and at the sexual parts we're laughing the ******** out.
haha aw.(:
-
OMG.
LOOOL.
OLD LOVE LETTERS TO SHANICE AND SHES CRYING AT THEM.
LOOOOOOOL.
I'M SO SMOOTH, DLS.
I AM A SMOOTH ******** CASABLANCA LESBIAN LOOOL.
i still got it, babeee.
i want you out of my mind and in my arms.
-
LOL SO;
"aww, rachelle, i love you."
"lol why?"
"&3"
WHAT.
you never do this.
don't believe i'm going to fall for that, hahahahha.
what did i do?
-
i can't believe what you did.
;
i almost cried in front of leaf.
but he's the only one who made me smile yesterday.
-
and #4;
i liked seeing your face. i liked having you close. i got to look at you and put things together in my head.
your face.
that face.
"that girl... i fell for that girl. see that girl? she's right there, in front of me, and i shared my heart with her."
-
i just want a miracle.
-
i hate today.
i hate today.
i miss you so much.
-
this morning, i'm waking up a lot better than yesterday.
yesterday was juts soo ********' miserable.
god damn.
what i liked about yesterday:
1. i was so upset that i didn't do any of my responsibilities. i ditched the house and hung out with becca. didn't pick up my s**t at the locker and turn stuff in. i was just, "******** it." pretty sweet. id over superego.
2. leaf reached out to me. so sweet.
3. after your ******** phone call tai, i'm never ******** letting you in again. this is the ******** END! lesson learned.
-
i'm sorry i ever knew
you.
but if you saw me staring down death,
would you give me your hand?
would you dry my tears?
would you even care?
no.
after today, i don't think you
would.
and that hurt the most.
you're not going to call me tonight,
will you?
will you?
stop and stare,
it's hard to wonder why you're here and not there.
-
OKAY.
MY FAMILY IS NOT ******** POOR.
MY PARENTS ARE NOT ******** LAZY, BUT SOMEHOW THEY'RE TOO LAZY TO ******** FEED THEIR OWN GOD DAMN CHILDREN.
I'M TIRED OF HAVING NO ******** DINNER AT NIGHT.
AND NOTHING TO ******** EAT AT THE MORNING.
SCHOOL PRETTY MUCH FEEDS ME NOW.
OR MY FRIENDS' HOUSES.
THIS IS ******** BULLSHIT.
I'M TIRED OF ******** STARVING.
WHAT THE ******** ********, MOM? CAN'T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE?
I'M NOT HAVING KIDS, BUT IF I DID, I'D MAKE SURE THEY HAD SOMETHING TO ******** EAT!!!!
-
i just want you to read these
and care.
i'm crying.
weren't you the one who said you never wanted me hurt?
-
and i deleted your ******** number!
yeah, i haven't even deleted ******** anyones number, but i'm deleting ******** yours!
go to hell, and leave me alone!
i hate you!
-
uh, um, what?
i'm not embarassed.
only reason why i'm saying that, is because i can understand why i might be.
but hey, i'm not.
things are pretty ********' boss on this side of the street.
-
apparently i need six teacher recommendations.
so uh.
uh./:
i know i have difranco, raymond, fagan, and thingvold.
i -guess- mrs. boyette...
who did i have last year?
could i even ask mrs. melvin?
///:
um, fourth period i had mr. boyette. he'd be a last resort. |:
fifth, i had that gym teacher. and uh. haha.
sixth, uh. LOL./:
i guess i'll ask melvin and boyette.
i guess...
i'll see if it's a pop. vote first.
with a speech.
i'd love to do a speech over it.
-
me and my mother do not go together man.
i mean seriously.
with the most love to possibly say, i can't wait to put the largest amount of distance between us when i move out of here.
and god, when i move out?
it's gon' be ********' epic.
like, times a billion.
s**t, son.
i think about it all the time.
-
it's six p.m. already.
i need to do this story.
..on schizophrenia.
lkgjksh. i can do this.
i can do this.
i can, i can, i can.
i will.
-
y'know.
i posted, 'i bet you won't call today.'
and then you called yesterday.
and just.
so.
...so.
&3
-
if i had a band, i'd struggle with incorporating all my influences into one sound.
it'd be maybe a blend of hip hop and metalcore, which would make a kind of metal with funk elements?
and then i'd want a blend of that indie feeling in the lyrics and image, with post-emo vocals.
i totally dig some invigorating, breakdown-y, thrashy stuff,
but then i really equally love sing-in-the-shower, melodic, acoustic-pop s**t.
so, idk.
maybe an ADTR kind of thing, or DGD; soft tracks and hard tracks on a record.
-
"un dernier verre"
i miss you. i know i do, and i've supressing it for so long.
i need to pull myself together again.
i can't let you down.
-
i just loved seeing you happy.
even if it's not me, the fact that you were smiling... and god, your smile.
just.
i care about you so immensely, it's unworldly.
and your hair.
and your face.
and your body.
and your voice.
and your eyes.
it's a bunch of old things i'm familiar with that i no longer have.
it was comforting to be around again.
no pain and bitterness, just plain genuine love from afar.
-
SO HOW ABOUT RAYMOND SO ME CRY TODAY?
AND HALEY PROBABLY DID TOO.
BET YOU DIDN'T SEE.
AND IF YOU DID,
BET YOU DIDN'T CARE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE LETTING A GIRL COME BETWEEN US.
-
these past two weeks
have been a big test on my heart.
god, it sucks./:
-
nothing more mysterious than subtle recognition.
LOOOOOL.
oh, man.
;
things to do;
1. write that ******** story./:
2. organize that binder.
3. voc 16.
well there's nothing you can do to like,
make situations worse than right now.
i mean my god.
so uh.
i'm pretty ********' fearless.
-
i really don't want to do my homework when
i could be talking to you and watch top chef.
homework and not let my partner down,
talk to you and watch top chef and let my partner down.
a, b.
b, a.
yes.
no.
yes.
yes?
-
okay, definitely been a while since writing "single" on my profile, lolll.
it's actually not bad.
because i know why you left me.
and just.
idk.
i love you.
she makes you happier than i ever could.
i totally understand the situation.
-
why can't i stop talking to you?
why did i hug you.
i wish you hugged me for longer.
i wish i turned around and kissed you.
i wish i made the moves.
i wish i had the control.
-
..ok, so uh.
after breaking up, i swore i'd delete your number
and ignore you at school.
..but uh.
everyday you ask me to talk.
and uh.
i kind of
really can not resist.
"wanna talk?" "to you? always."
and just.
i'm shooting myself in the ******** foot.
my beautiful foot./:
be gentle?
i wish you wanted me again.
i wish the things that happened, didn't.
-
i don't know why, like,
after a lot of s**t, you still want to throw s**t at me.
like.. really?
you have that much of a grudge?
i keep thinking these texts are you replying.
but.. they're not.
sad face.
-
me and my mother do not go together man.
i mean seriously.
with the most love to possibly say, i can't wait to put the largest amount of distance between us when i move out of here.
and god, when i move out?
it's gon' be ********' epic.
like, times a billion.
s**t, son.
i think about it all the time.
-
it's six p.m. already.
i need to do this story.
..on schizophrenia.
lkgjksh. i can do this.
i can do this.
i can, i can, i can.
i will.
-
y'know.
i posted, 'i bet you won't call today.'
and then you called yesterday.
and just.
so.
...so.
&3
-
if i had a band, i'd struggle with incorporating all my influences into one sound.
it'd be maybe a blend of hip hop and metalcore, which would make a kind of metal with funk elements?
and then i'd want a blend of that indie feeling in the lyrics and image, with post-emo vocals.
i totally dig some invigorating, breakdown-y, thrashy stuff,
but then i really equally love sing-in-the-shower, melodic, acoustic-pop s**t.
so, idk.
maybe an ADTR kind of thing, or DGD; soft tracks and hard tracks on a record.
to whom will know this was written for her;
i hope you feel the pain you caused me today.
i ******** hope for the cold-hearted revenge like you did me.
because you ******** crossed the line.
you ******** b*****d,
i hope you die.
and there is so much hate in this message, i can't even express.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:40 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
you know i ******** stood up for you ******** yesterday with tai?
you know i ******** did that?
yeah, i ******** did that.
and look what you ******** did to me today.
you ******** went over the ******** line and broke my heart in the worst way you could.
that's not ******** fair.
that's not even ******** fair.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:34 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
"i hope you choke and die.
so is that what you call a getaway? tell me what you got away with.
'cause i've seen more spine on jellyfish.
i've seen more guts on eleven-year-old kids.
have another drink and drive yourself home, i hope there's ice on all the roads
and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.
is that what you call tact?
you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
so let's end this call and end this conversation.
and is that what you call a getaway? tell me what you got away with.
'cause you left the frays from the ties you severed.
when you say "best friends" means friends forever."
song tracks capsulize all the things i need to ******** say.
i am ******** over the ******** edge.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:30 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
you crossed the ******** line.
i'm so close to balancing that ******** action.
i'm so close.
i could ******** break you more than the pieces of glass you already are.
i have that ******** power.
'cause you crossed the ******** line today.
you ******** crossed it.
you ******** p***k.
you ******** p***k.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:24 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
you're a terrible friend.
you're going to end up miserable.
you're already miserable.
you have no heart.
you're annoying in class.
you talk too much.
you're patheticly gushy when you talk.
you embarass me.
you're a liar.
you're two-faced.
you talk s**t.
you're disgusting.
you're ugly.
you're pathetic in your love life.
you're pathetic in your drive to live.
you're pathetic in everything you are,
and i hate you.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible friend.
you're a terrible person.
you lost joy.
you weren't good enough for skye, so she left you for a boy who could make her happier.
you ******** things up with toby and he's never coming back, and that left the biggest whole in your heart, and i hope it stays there.
you lost your innocence.
you lost your purity.
you lost your father.
you lost everything in your life,
and you're losing me.
i hope you never get it back.
i hope you cry a demoralized night and beg for forgiveness from us all.
you deserve what you got.
you deserve what you got.
this really came from tai?
whatever it is, you deserve what you ******** god.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:21 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
lol.
if you're bringing darnesha into this, that's ******** over the line.
actually, you're already over the line, because you're being ******** evil right now.
******** uncalled for and ******** evil, that's how you are.
i hope you're miserable over toby, and that he breaks your heart even more tonight, somehow.
because that's how much you're over the ******** line.
whatever i ******** did does NOT deserve any of THIS!
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:59 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
okay.
homework time?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:58 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
wh- wha- what?
you come in here, and you've never even been here?
wow, that's even worse than a regular who's been here.
then it'd be your experienced opinion.
stupid, but still more creditable.
than someone who ******** assumes something after one ******** day.(:
you're pathetic(:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:51 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i really don't like hidden plain views general sound.
but garden statement? the solo at 3:05? alternating pop rock vocals can be beautiful s**t;
so let me drown so i can breathe again.
i'm through choking and suffocating
on alter egos and alterior motives,
which weigh you down
and take control of the way you are
and the things that you need.
the lives you live and the dreams the you dream distort and blur all in slow motion.
they broke you down and now you're broken.
and it's sadder than the saddest movie i ever saw but without the beauty.
so i stopped watching and i stopped caring.
i lost all interest and i stopped wearing your plastic smiles.
i'll wash these hands clean.
i'll forget that you forgot about me.
i'll live the life, the big city feeling.
it's better than suburban dreaming.
living off the friends that hate you,
talk s**t on me, like i don't know who my real friends are anymore.
no, i don't know you anymore.
i'm a sucker for
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759277 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:42 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i want to say it so bad.
but uh, i won't.
lmfaolmfaolmfao.
Topic/Message Replies Forum Post Date
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:52 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
oh, i remember now.
it's 'cause they're 'scene', lmfaoo.
when i disappear, do you fear for the sister i took?
when i disappear, it is clear i am up to no good.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:51 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
k, srsly?
all the hate on millionaires?
they're just a typical electronica club band, really.
they just flaunt it more.
you might as well hate on the entire genre.
which would mean;
it's the taste, not the food.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:48 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
"you're going to miss me, aren't you?"
"if you make a move, make it fast."
"i... love you."
"/laughs it off/ i love me, too."
"don't you love me?"
"...i love you tooooo. a lot..."
if lies are all i have,
lie to be every day and night.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:45 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i can't
believe
you are moving
out of
the country
.
i'm finding myself
in denial
.
this can't be real.
this has to be a joke.
people move, but not the people close to me... right?
not, not you...
i only just got you back in my life!
if you really are moving, i'm going to kiss you.
this will be
my last chance.
i'm kissing you,
and it will be beautiful.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:33 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
what a quiet way to scream for attention.
and i'm so sad you're leaving.
i don't even know what to say.
i don't even know if you'll still be in my life.
and i hoped for so much in time,
and that time's taken away from me.
maybe this is a sign
that i should live like time's limited.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:41 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
in the beginning of the year,
fourth period was disheartening.
now i'm enjoying this ********' class, hahaha.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:34 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
ap psych and ap world is like.
oil and water lmfao.
1; examination essays are are lot less formal and picky in psych.
2; i don't even study, and i get higher grades in psych than in world history. odd, non?
things to do;
1. find out if my upperclassmen sciences can be environmental science or geology.
2. find out what junior classes there are in general.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:04 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i realized things today;
- i'm scared of changes, but excited for changes.
- i'm insecure over this presidential office role.
- i can't keep a deep conversation when i'm in a manic mood.
- kayla is really, really cool.
- i get nervous. take it or leave it.
- forgiveness is underrated.
;
y'know what's funny?
when you hate on a chick 'cause the person you trust tells you she isn't a true person.
and then you start befriending the chick,
and that person starts telling you everything the person you formerly trusted is a lie.
so it's like.
who to believe?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:59 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
shanice is my best friend.
that's what best friends are for.
you go through s**t, and you forgive them.
that's what best friends are.
that's what true friendship is.
it's unbreakable.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759296 Chatterbox Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:51 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i'm sorry you had to degrade to a lower person.
i'm sorry you felt like this has to ruin our friendship.
i'm sorry you weren't strong enough.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
so, i def. failed that algebra test today.
too badd.
it'll probably drop me to a high c./:
honestly, irdc.
i keep a 4.0 average.
mathematics isn't required for my college major.
that class doesn't engage me.
oh well.
but man.
i really, really could care less for that class.
i'm a liberal arts kid.
music, romanticsm, humanities, literature, history.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i think what hurts most, is that it feels like losing you.
we all are.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i'm pretty damn excited for my upperclassmen courses;
junior year:
- ap english language and composition
- ap music theory or music appreciation
- ecology or environmental science
senior year:
- ap english composition and literature
- ap european history
- ap music theory or music appreciation
- ap biology
& then there's american histories for both years, which i'm not excited about, but feeling positive for because they'll be easy college cred.
but what i'm really gonna hate on is mathematics./:
way i see it, i can take a math in senior year, and have one less college math to do,
or not take it in senior year, and take something else.(:
idk, but.
i'm feeling good about this.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
who i am hates who i've been
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
we are all fickle and grey area
at some point.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
we have eyes.
we watch from the corners.
it's not a lie when they say at least one person admires you, and you don't know about it.
it truly, truly isn't.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
ch. 15, psychology.
"spotlight effect."
go look it up.
every time you post, i can't help it.
it's really weighing me down
more than i can explain.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i don't want to think about today.
but remember i did not run away.
"you know me rachelle; you know nothing will get solved if you run away from me. it will only get worse."
i think this
is a step of progression.
this could be a movie.
this could be our final act.
we don't need these happy endings.
{quote"My Guilty Fetish"
If you care for me as much as your friends say you do, show me.
Even if we're not...whatever we were, show me.}
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:03 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
LOOOOL.
sorry, i just realized this was written by -you-.
you're kinda a 'honey'.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:00 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i have kayla's number lmfaolmfaolfamoo.(:
she sits with us now.
i hope jordan does more often, too.
and shanice just kinda sits there, now, 'cause she's being really pathetically emo.
and kylea will either talk to us and be great,
or she'll do something else,
or her and david will get all kissy.
but dudedude,
kayla is:
1. HILARIOUS.
2. gorgeous.
3. has an incredible personality, thus far.
i have pretty much no reason to not be attracted to this 100% heterosexual chick.(:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:58 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
even though i was frustrated by you;
i dreamed about running late to class, like we're notmally doing.
and i fell in a lake of sulfur.
and i thought it was going to burn my legs off.
and you were just there.
and, i dreamed about a guy calling me, and how he was in my house coming to kidnap me.
then something about darkness & s**t.
it was pretty tripped out.
and i remember pink colors.
lots of pink colors.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:55 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
maybe i'm biting off more than i can chew.
lollll. oops.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:53 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
dlkgjkldsgyou frustrated me./:
and;
kylea's acting really ******** weird.
she comes to lunch, and completey disengages in conversation.
well...wtf?
why do you sit with us then?
or do you feel like we sit with you?
either she's pissed off at me, or something's going on in her life.
ha, and i thought we were getting closer.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:48 am
{large}this is why no one lets you in.
this is why you have no genuine friendship.
as you are,
you will never taste the real flavor of life.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:44 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
and one more thing;
you have no ******** justification to judge how my life is.
my life is beautiful.
my life is amazing.
my life is cinematic, and everything you wish you had.
i live every ******** day as its last, and i have never given up.
unlike you.
but hey, your lifestyle is your lifestyle.
don't you dare criticize mine.
i'm a ********' little miss sunshine, and i have control.
i can't believe you compared me to you.
******** no.
my life is my pride.
what i've done with my life is my ******** pride.
the saddest thing is to see you throw your life away,
and throw your life away because you were too ignorant of your mistakes.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:41 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
imo,
shallow personality is the most disgusting characteristic you could have.
where are your dreams?
where are your thoughts?
where's your heart?
no- you're not anybody. who are you? you have no name. you're nobody.
you're not human.
and i pity the one who lives their life so unfulfilled as you do.
between the man who massacres a city for their undying faith in their god, and the one who has not fought a single battle in their life,
my respect goes for the former.
at least he believed in something.
you believe in nothing, you pathetic ********.
you're going nowhere.
become somebody, get some dream, don't be another statistic and waste your life away.
you're just.
wow.
you may find your "opening up" to be a growth in the trust between you and i, and a development in our friendship,
but no.
no.
i'm tired of you,
once and for all.
you repulsive, empty, twitching p***k.
you'll get what you deserve.
i know you already have.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:30 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i know my biggest 'pet peeve' now.
shallow personality.
oh, my ********' god./:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759303 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:23 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i'd love to scream in front of your face,
in the same room.
eyes on me, like you used to do.
i just want you to listen.
'cause s**t,
there's so much unsaid.
it's like half of a goodbye letter.
but you have to be happy with that letter, because that's your closure.
and i am happy.
but i'm not filled.
;
introspection is the reason for my procrastination.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759310 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:26 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
"me and shanice went at it, and i'm seriously starting to hate her now."
"since when do i need a reason to talk to my best friend, baby?"
"we talked from 4PM to 10PM."
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759310 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:05 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW,
I WISH I HAD MORE TIME.
NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW,
I WISH I HAD MORE TIME.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759310 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:46 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
priority; psychology script.
1. chemistry worksheets.
2. algebra.
3. psychology outline.
4. office applications.
/:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759310 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:47 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
when i'm sad, i can be just straight ********' heartbroken.
but i keep smiling.
i keep laughing.
i keep hope.
i always, always keep hope.
the life of an optimist has its pros, truly.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759310 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:41 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
curse word count average per week: 84.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:22 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
jack conte is the epitome of DIY music.
and also the most awkward vocalists):
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:10 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
damn, tdwp's melodic vocalist rly, rly sucks a** lmfaoo.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:05 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
jesus christ.
it didn't take me a year to get over amy.
it was like, three/four months.
and amy was just like, that was ********' -amy- man.
not.
a year...
lollll idgi?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:00 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
LOOOOOOL @ YOUR POST ON #491.
your insanity is tasty.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:58 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
what else should i have done?
walk right past?
forgive my inconsistency.
i'm doing the best i can.
i did the best i could.
i may regret the decision i made,
but i don't regret a lack of trying. i've always done my best.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:55 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i wonder if you post here.
and if you post here,
i quickly look away. rush of blood to the skin. comes as such a surprise.
the closest i can get to you stings of jealousy.
basically, i wonder about you all the time.
never passed a day without, really.
i hope i don't regret not kissing you today.
i desperately do.
idt my soul can handle any more burdening mistakes this year, lmfao.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:52 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
lolol, thank god it ain't you.
i'd like. i don't even know.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:50 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
and i've come to hate the cynic.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:49 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
uh LOL
if that's you
then my discomfort level will sky-rocket.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759318 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:46 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
it aches, but it's still a heart.
it's mine to keep.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759329 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:51 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
"god, you guys are driving me crazy."
"i drive all the ladies crazy, baby."
lmfaoo(:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759329 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:05 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
thanks for ******** ruining my day.
thanks for ******** letting a girl come between us.
thanks for ******** tearing us apart.
thanks for ******** breaking my heart.
thanks for making me the most venomous anger and lowest sorrow.
thanks for ******** everything up.
thanks for ******** everything, shanice.
i hope i die, and you can see the mess you made.
but obviously you don't ******** give a s**t anymore.
have fun.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759329 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:17 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i like healthy s**t.
fruits and nuts, and fruit drinks, and a lot of vegetables.
it's not hard for me to be healthy, 'cause i enjoy it.
only thing getting me from being healthy would be the excess of sugar/fats, loll, but not a lack of anything.
but, it's always easier to cut back on something than to put anything in.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759329 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:11 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i dreamed;
1. katie had cigarettes, and i went wildly euphoric over it.
2. you were writing about me, and it was about you having trouble with your boyfriend and how you failed him and stuff.
3. shanice talked to me.
4. we were in a bright, 50s-style hollywood town.
5. i tried to steal cameras from a tree.
6. i hung around oakleaf elementary, and there was a party in there?
7. i remember drugs and illegal activities.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759329 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:06 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i feel like i'm trying more, here|:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759329 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:59 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
superego: 2
id: 0
;
okay.
at least i ******** wrote something(:
i'm -trying- here.
like... wtf?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759329 Chatterbox Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:25 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
porn is not worth this wait./:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759329 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:01 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo fxxs e r e n d i p i t y.xxxxx
i don't want to be wrong.
if i'm wrong,
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:29 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i've wanted to ask why you wouldn't have me.
why such a small thing had large effects.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:17 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
you're not romantic.
you're just awkward.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:59 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
your revealed skin provokes thoughts.
what beautiful color.
what smooth skin.
i've laid in bed with you before.
i won't forget how hot it was.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:46 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i wish i had
more time.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:39 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i'm sorry to have become the enemy for you.
all of you.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:26 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
you did exactly what
eats at me most.
i became the beast.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:22 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i am nothing but a runaway.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:20 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
do you never give up because you are strong,
or do you never let go because you are weak?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:13 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i don't even know you anymore.
i hope you die.
i hope you suffer.
suffer how i have, tenfold.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759334 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:06 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
did you find joy in my sorrow?
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
"back in school they never taught us what we needed to know, like how to deal with despair or someone breakin your heart.
for twelve years i've held it all together, but a night like this is beggin' to pull me apart .
i played it quiet left you deep in conversation.
i felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen.
i remember i kept thinking that i know you never would and now i know i want to kill you like only a best friend could."
"well i can't regret, can't you just forget it?
i started something i couldn't finish.
and if we go down, we go down together.
best friends means, well best friends means-
and i've got a twenty-dollar bill that says you're up late night starting fist fights versus fences in your backyard.
wearing your black eye like a badge of honor soaking in sympathy from friends who never loved you nearly half as much as me.
broken down in bars and bathrooms, all i did was what i had to.
don't believe me when i tell you it's just what anyone would do.
take the time to talk about it.
think a lot and live without it.
don't believe me when i tell you it's something unforgivable.
you never knew, well i never told you;
everything i know about breaking hearts, i learned from you, it's true.
i've never done it with the style and grace you have.
but i've made long term plans based on these mistakes.
best friends means I pulled the trigger.
best friends means you get what you deserve."
ah.
nothing like an emo band to express what you can't.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:58 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
you just want a scapegoat for the things she did, so uncontrollable.
but the fault is not mine that she doesn't believe you.
i am no liar.
i had no hand in what she did.
if she loved you that much, she wouldn't let accusations get to her.
i did nothing but stand up for you.
i said only the truth.
and so do you.
so why do you feel this way for things you know are true?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:55 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
living with you is a pain.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 5:44 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i often dream about running.
it's always fast,
it's always fear to get somewhere or get away from somewhere.
running.
running.
i wonder if that's symbolic of anything?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 5:35 pm
attending church has become a chore for me.
an annoyance and a discomfort.
i no longer enjoy mass at all.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:51 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
LOL.
dirty talk in porn. i can't take that seriously either.
lmfaoo, "the thought of c**, it makes me -so- horny. don't you want a ride? /a** slap."
ahaha.
oh man.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:49 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
in retrospect, i can find the early signs of my sexuality.
like.
i always hung with the guys.
i did masculine things.
i made jokes about sex.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:41 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i can't take porn movies with upbeat techno music in the background seriously.
i mean?
lmfaoo.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:38 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
when i am older.
i will stay out when i want.
i will go where i want.
i will watch want i want.
i will smoke what i want.
i will eat when i want.
i will say what i want.
i will control music volume how i want.
i will clean how i want.
i'll never have to hide another girlfriend.
i'll never have to hide my secrets in my own home again.
basically,
i will embrace my real self, when i am freed from you.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759338 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:35 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
we called it 'flipping the coin' for the past six, seven months.
we could call the next one 'massage therapy'.
lmfaolmfao(:
Topic/Message Replies Forum Post Date
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:50 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
you called four times today.
four.
and left a voice mail message wanting me to call you back.
..?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:45 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
it is
expected.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:43 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i don't need to justify myself to you, you empty b*****d.
all the girls agreed with me.
and,
i do believe in miracles.
;
superego: 12
id: 1
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:41 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
if i am without hope, i am nothing at all.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:39 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
first text in four/five days; "don't get your hopes up."
what the hell?
i seriously hope that's not meant at our friendship, no pun intended.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:36 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
you're a voice that never sings.
you can only blame yourself.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:32 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
maybe it feels so good, because i didn't know what to do.
i wanted to.
i didn't want to.
i didn't want to more than i wanted to.
but then god gave me a sign.
he really did.
it's pretty amazing.
i'm glad i stopped myself
from a mistake.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:30 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i feel like i overcame something within myself.
i don't normally make decisions
like these.
this was smart.
this was right.
wholly and completely right.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:29 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
this lust was a mistake from the beginning.
i'm glad i cut the impetus of the cycle.
i cut it.
i cut it loose.
and i am free
from your gaze,
from your love,
and from your lies.
she's calling me back.
i'm letting it ring.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759341 Chatterbox Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:27 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i feel good about doing the right thing.
god, i feel good.
i didn't make another mistake.
i stopped myself, and didn't let myself succumb to her.
i didn't.
ah, i'm smiling.
even though you don't know what i've done, i know what i did.
i know what i did was right.
i'll listen to you next time.
i listened to you every time.
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
there is something in the change of times.
of season.
it's in the sky,
the lights,
the smell of lawn sprinklers,
and the air.
it feels so wonderful, right now.
it hangs the back of my mind.
it's tingeing everything with this, this feeling...
i think it's nostalgia.
it feels like the summers of hainesville.
it feels like walking down the road, when i was innocent.
it feels amazing.
and it's stronger than any jealousy you could bestow upon me.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:58 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i'm pretty sure every girl i've dated is a b***h.
like,
a bitchy personality.
haha.
/: ?
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:56 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
talkin' to greg about bands
is so awesomeee(:
he knows so muchh..
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:48 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
the alexisonfire poll was one of my favorites(:
;
i miss partying all night.
with you.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:46 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
you know how boys stereotypically like, check out tits and a**?
for me, it's the voice, face, and hair.
and clothing.
yep.
i've realized that, now.
particularly the voice(:
i'm pretty sure that's a big factor.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:43 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
kjdfkh emma watson(:
we watched like, three movies of HP last night.
and just.
damnnnn.
foolish feelings, lmao.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:38 pm
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
so, i don't get it when girls get all ditzy over hot celebrities.
i don't even really check out hot celebrities, or even the chicks in bands.
i mean, they're like, twice my age?
but.
there is one chick.
lmfaoo, emma watson.
mother ********, that's one sexy lady.
she's one of the first girls i started checking out in general, actually. before i discovered my sexuality.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:08 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i'm gonna get what i want for ma birthdayy(:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:57 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i can't stand the things that haunt me.
it's a burden i've lived with
every day.
it's a sting.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759344 Chatterbox Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:54 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
okay.
so i'm finding people on my friendslist who i didn't even know were on there. lmfaoo.
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
laugh, out loud.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759345 Chatterbox Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:57 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
...that.
is why i love my life(:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759345 Chatterbox Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:56 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i wasn't even surprised to see you sitting behind me.
i honestly thought it was nicky tapping on my shoulder.
i saw you, and just.
wow.
you're dragging this out immensely.
you really, really are.
i mean.
"hey everybody, i'm moving tomorrow."
"oh, yeah, it's been moved to monday. monday morning, though."
/monday. "hey, rachelle."
|:
i don't give a s**t.
especially after this weekend.
hahahaha i really don't(:
nope.
not anymore.
again, i know.
but if they asked me for a regret,
i wouldn't have any to name.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759345 Chatterbox Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:53 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
now i'm a little inclined to post pictures relating to what i'm talking about, lolll.
;
linda asked me what was wrong.
i wanted to say, "social life."
and if she probed,
i would say, "my best friend."
because honestly, you're my biggest worry right now.
and really, that's because i care about you and us so ******** much.
i love you, shanice.
please come back.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759345 Chatterbox Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:49 am
{large}i know we don't talk.
but if you said something totally out there, i wouldn't run and tell the whole school.
you don't trust me, but i keep your secrets in dls, as secrets in dls.
because i respect you.
do you at least respect me, care for me in the least bit,
to not read these posts and tell all your friends at school?
i don't know.
but i trust you.
hopefully, you won't let me down.
it's funny how
the ends of our social circles overlap.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759345 Chatterbox Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:46 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
you're a disgusting person.
i've had enough of befriending boys, lmfao.
except for greg and justin(:
oh and.
there's a new chick at our school.
again.
lmfao.
she's mad short and really cute looking, with punky influences in her swag.
she came from ridgeview.
candice knows her.
we had nice small talk.
she approached me and asked me to help her with her classes.
hahahaha, how... trite.
you know those people,
that you shouldn't think about so much, but you do?
not that i'm thinking about her -so- much.
but.
;
i'm pretty damn traditional.
;
speaking of new gals,
i hope kayla comes to school tomorrow(:
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759345 Chatterbox Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:40 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i wouldn't change my life for anyone.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759345 Chatterbox Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:38 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i want you to know i don't care.
i want you to know that i am nothing of what i once was, and everything better and more refined. i am everything better. i am everything better.
i want you to know i never loved you.
i want you to know it was not heartbreak, because i feel like you've taken my pride, thinking you could have hurt me.
i'm gay.
i was young.
we were both young.
it was a mistake.
and you know,
when i say that, i feel like you're just the same.
but you can't be.
you have changed too.
and i know that, because that's how life is. that's what life does to you, after so much time.
so then, you must know, too, that i've changed.
i think...
i think i just care what you think about me.
i want you to know i've changed.
that i'm not weak.
you saw me so weak, and i resent that.
i don't trust you with that memory anymore. i don't trust you with my weakness.
Dirty Little Secrets [04/02/09] Go to post 759345 Chatterbox Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:35 am
xxαɴ∂xɪxsωεαʀxɪʾʟʟxкɴσωxʏσʋʀxғαϲεxɪɴxтʜεxϲʀσω∂x
i'm really discontent when
after five years of moving on,
i feel bothered by seeing you?
what's that supposed to mean?
i sure as hell don't miss you. i know that by my heart, and how my mind doesn't think about you at all. at all.
but seeing you makes me tense. makes me laugh and smile, because i am tense.
maybe this is a simple case of awkwardness.
'cause we know each other, and
View User's Journal
& hit it.
use the archive button to navigate, yo. (:
 |
