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The more I think of it, the harder it is so sometimes I shut my eyes real tight and just try to forget.
I've felt like this for months but never do I want you to worry so I won't speak of it, never tell you exactly what's on my mind or how sometimes the simplest things you say make me wanna cry.
It's funny how I'll cry over the dumbest things in front of you but not the serious ones. I hold them in, building them up until I'm alone. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and just lay there thinking of you, missing you even if your just right next to me snoring away. It's getting harder for me to see you and know there won't be a future. I can't just not see you anymore though so no matter how hard it becomes I'll survive. Sometimes I really think were so different from each other. You have no dreams of marriage, of children or of a home far far away like I do. Your calm, quiet and I know your smile can pick up anyone. You never yell or show bad manors. Your sweet and easy to love. I'm loud, obnoxious, weak and simply hard to get along with. I scream, throw fits and rarely see the good inside anything. Yet there you are every second I need you talking to me like you see past the bad. You know for a while it scared me so much, I never had anyone just care that much to not run away from my bad moments. I never met anyone like you. Everyone approaches me with there own expectations but I've always been like this so they feel let down and just leave. I just want to tell them all not to even try to get close because no matter what I'll always fail to be what they want. Your the only one who hasn't given up on me or tried to change me. I just want to thank you for the faith you put in me, for the kindness you've always shown and one day I know I'll be able to let you go with a smile. I know it will happen, nothing is eternal. Your simply the most precious thing to me in the world. Thank you for everything, there's so much you didn't have to do and yet always went outta your way to do. I'm not sure where I'll be in the future, what I'll be doing or who I'll be but you know what I can say that I'll still love you, I'm sure of it and I have never been one to believe so deeply in love but you proved me wrong. You'll always be the first guy who ever reached out and expected nothing more in return, You'll always be my Zettai Kareshi.