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If there's one thing I can not stand, it's weakness. I cannot stand it when someone mocks my skill, and I hate it when I allow myself to be defeated when I know I can exceed and overtake. Jun defeated me once, and I was NOT going to move on until I took my victory from him. I was worried...I was close to breaking Roan's Seal, and I was also ashamed of my...true form. I mean...I don't want my new family to be ashamed of a large, seven-foot grotesquely human-like Panther with giant wings and a -really- bad temper.
It was embarassing, but I didn't have much of a choice. I think it took Jun by surprise when I returned to my human form. I can be horribly tenacious and determined when I want something. I was -trained- for that. I exist for that reason. It compels me to fight and to either kill or be killed trying. Corvus was among the very best of the best in Guardianship in OXY. It is her pride that keeps me going, and I do NOT like being underestimated when it comes to protecting my family.
Failure is my Kryptonite. I was so ashamed of myself when Jun first attacked. I was afraid that I wasn't strong enough, that he would kill everyone. And it haunted me for a while that I would have to face him again. And...I did. I faced him again.
And I defeated him. He spoke of being in love with me, of wanting me to die with him, we were locked, he was choking me, and Naomi started firing shots at him to distract him. And I was scared he would turn and attack her. I just...I felt everything snap into place. I fell back into my old mindset. I forgot who Naomi was, who Light, Desmond, and everyone--I forgot who they were to me. I forgot they even existed. My objective and mission was to destroy Jun and move on to get Noah back.
I've lost a lot of blood, and Roan hasn't joined us yet. I hope he stays down there to look after the Guild. I would feel bad if someone else came to attack and ruined Miss Ulta's work. I overcame my worry that I wouldn't defeat Jun. I stayed two steps ahead of him, and in the end, he burned in his own hellish fire. I hope from now on that I never have to hear that awful chainsaw revving, or see that twisted smile, or have to look into those awful eyes ever again.
And another thing...he kept referring to Noah as...a fake. Is this a clue to Noah and Light's past?
For now, I'm worried about Noah and Desmond. We came to this floating Fortress together, and I want us to leave together. Safely and alive...I may have to return to the Guild to recover, but until I'm on the brink of death, I will continue to move on to bring Noah back. I don't care about ORDER, or what they can do.
I want my little brother back safe and sound.
 Aizen Teresaga · Sat Feb 07, 2009 @ 05:27am · 1 Comments |
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