This is my suicide letter, the letter i hope i will never have to break out and leave on my chest with a bullet to my head.
okay... lets take a deep breath..:
Most people kill themselves because of a mental condition. This is true in my case too. The condition I suffer from is that I am not normal, I am not like everyone of you "sane" people.
I am not normal in the sense that I am not like every other one of you brain-dead zombies. I can think. I can reason intelligently. I can observe and learn from life. I can make my own decisions and follow through on them. And I can do these without any aid from celebrities, T.V., radio or MySpace. Unfortunately, every one of you s**t-brained lemmings seem to lack these skills and I can't ******** take it any more.
Since everyone else in this world is a ******** retarded drone who revels in their ignorance and unintelligence, I must put an end to my misery. I truly wish I was normal. I wish I could be a ******** retarded sponge like all of you. I wish I could have the same conversations day in and day out about sports, politics and "how about that weather huh?". But I can't.
Sure you'll see this note and say leah's the crazy one. You have to it's the only way you can go on thinking you're sane and your pathetic life is meaningful. Go ahead, call me the weirdo like everyone else surely will. Then, return to your happiness of everyday mindless monotony.
My only wish is that the bullet I put into my brain kills me.. ignorance is bliss and everyone of you ******** is truly happy, ive always wanted that...
I’ve almost been hospitalized for attempts before. I’ve almost been put on medications to help the depression... the mental disorders that doctors are so quick to diagnose. I’m sick of it all. Why should I bother trying anymore? I’m not even afraid of dying. I’m not afraid of pain. I just want to leave this world. Please pray for me. I’m tired of trying. I keep trying but can’t hold on any longer. I am hurting inside deeply… I am all alone, since nobody has ever cared for me. I no longer want to live in this world full of hate and hurt.
To my family, you've always been the ones i've cared about, ive always been unselfish, and cared for you all like i was a step mother of some sort. i cared for jack like the only mom he knew when we were younger, and when mom was too drunk to walk to her own bed. I've always tried to do the right thing for you mom, but it all just kidna fell apart. crumbled in my hands, or broke to pieces at my feet. but you know.. for once, i have to do what's best for me... and this is to end it all. to end my pain i've always dreamed of letting go. to release the last bit of breathe left in my darkened-by-weed lungs. the last ounce of my poisoned blood to drip from my skull. i'm sorry my family.
I'm sorry to my friends who were always there..
who i was always there for..
i'm sorry to my past lovers, who i shared my heart and love with..
it's all over now..
live your life and do not dwell over me..
for this is how i want it to be.
Goodbye..
Maybe forever..
until i find the unsure gates to heaven.. i bid you farewell..
Your Daughter..
Leah-Marie Deering...
Cloud_Stickers Community Member 
|
|
