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I dont know what this will contain...but I need to get something out...I feel like I should dream rather than be in reality..because reality is all drama and though I should enjoy things while I can..nothing really seems fun. My thoughts are eating all my energy..

I feel like I should move soon and not come back to where I am now..yeah I can drive here but should I? No..it will probably be for the worst. Dont get me wrong, I love my friends...I really do, i'd give my life to make them happy, but just being around them I think I am just Drama. I dont know...Im just stupid..its not worth it. Im a lazy fricker..how can you have fun with that? You cant...I am just nothing...nothing but something stupid. I think I cause more problems then I fix them though.

I cant change how I think...I dont even know if I want to..maybe im scared? Maybe...I just dont know...I think though...and figure even things of the future I look forward to now, even though they may not happen, i'll mess up because i'll get annoyed..I will change and it wont work..it scares me so bad...I hope things work out like I'd planned...but I hate it all right now...I just do...and my minds dead...but it just thinks negative..gah..