Once upon a time, there was a fairytale that everyone adored. But what if I told you that fairytale was the clean version? I am about to tell you what really happened.
There was no girl more beautiful than the girl locked up in her ivory tower. She was as pretty as Michelangelo’s paintings. She had pale white skin almost translucent in the moonlight that shone in from her window. Rosy cheeks that only complemented her pale skin and pink lips that curved into the most beautiful smile. But it was her long golden hair, cascading down her back to lie coiled on the floor in a thick plait, that stood out brilliantly. She was so beautiful; she could’ve had any man that came her way. Seeing this, her wicked stepmother hid her away in the tall tower and cursed her. But she was waiting for her prince to come and save her.
One day when she was absent-mindedly painting a canvas set up near her window when she heard a man yell. “What is this tower that blocks my way? Move, damned tower! Move!” The girl’s eyes widened and she giggled once to herself. “Who goes there? Hiding yourself away is the works of a coward!” The man yelled again. The girl grew tired of his yelling and leant out the window. “Good sir, I am no coward. I am just hiding away in my tower from your loud voice.” She said, fighting the smirk that tried to play upon her lips. The man let out a throaty laugh which made the girl looked down to blush at his handsome appearance. He was tall with blonde curly locks, with a tan that you knew he had to have been out in the sun most of his life to get. The man looked up, shielding his eyes from the sun and in his manly voice asked, “Ah, what is your name fair maiden?” The girl blinked twice before the question even registered in her mind. She blushed as she stuttered out, “My name is Rapunzel. And just what is your name, good sir?” As soon as she finished the sentence, she looked away to hide her blush. “My name is Prince Garrett and do not turn away from me, fair Rapunzel.” He said, looking up with a lovesick gaze. Rapunzel looked down and smiled. “Dear Prince Garrett, I have to leave your presence to sleep. Would you meet me at this time tomorrow?” Prince Garrett smiled and nodded before mounting his ridiculously fat painted white steed and riding off into the dim sunset.
Rapunzel went to sleep straight away and awoke early in the morning to hear Prince Garrett barking orders to what she assumed were his henchmen. “Bring the tower down! I have found my bride!” Garrett continued barking till Rapunzel came to the window. “Wait, wait! I’ll just let down my hair and you can climb up.” Rapunzel said rather loudly, afraid the tower would come down on her and squish her to death. Prince Garrett stared at Rapunzel as if she was psychotic. But she let down her long and thick braid of golden blonde hair and let it bump against the tower. Prince Garrett grabbed the braid with his manly grip and gave an experimental tug which left Rapunzel screaming. Prince Garrett looked up to look at the tower window to have golden locks smack him right in the face. “Oh my...You pulled my wig off!” Rapunzel shrieked. Garrett writhed around under the golden hair, trying to find his way out when he saw a bald woman shaking her fist at the tower window. He quickly left the scene of the crime with his evil henchmen and his stupid white pony which was painted black this time. All that was left was a screaming bald woman who resembled Rapunzel but was jailed for suspicion of eating Rapunzel.
And that, my children...Is what really happened to Rapunzel and her beloved Prince Garrett.
 Castrated-Nightmares · Mon May 18, 2009 @ 03:35pm · 0 Comments |
