band /band/ n : the class that all the Elementary school kids can't wait to take in fourth grade, then quit in Junior High because it's "uncool", but once High School comes around, they try to re-join because suddenly, all the kids are doing it and they feel left out.
Valve Oil- The magical fluid used in a brass instrument to make the valves "movey-ish" It is an Elixir of Life to Brass Players and it can be drunk as a brass initiation.
reed- the little wood peice that makes the noise in most woodwinds. WARNING DO NOT USE EXTESIVLY WILL GROW GREEN MOLDY AND ALL AROUND GROSS!
Beat - What musicians do to one another. The down beat is preformed to the top of the head while the up beat is a strike beneath the chin.
To do: v. to fasten the collar clasp or zip the back of uniform of another band member (ex: "do me!" wink
Allegro- When the Trumpets decide to follow the conductor
Forte- See Trumpet
Reed players- Musicians who must suck on wood for approximately 3 minutes, so as to moisten it to allow it to vibrate and cause pleasurable audio frequencies.
Lyre: A multiple application utility, its uses include and are not limited to, holding music, clipping ones hair up and punishing disobedient instrument players
Wood: n. Slang term for reed. Also what many percussion instruments are made of.
Bang: v. Percussionists do this in order to make sound. Many perverted jokes can come from this definition, I assure you. Feel free to make them. We will laugh.
Stick: 1. n. A percussion tool, or the conductor's baton. 2. v. To play percussion, you must 'stick' correctly. (Warning: Dangerous for any outside the percussion world to attempt, it may fry less (or more, not many lesser minds exist outside the percussion world) advanced minds.)
Bass drum: n. The only bisexual drum of percussion section. Meaning you can bang it on both sides. n, large, heavy instrument held up with a harness (usually consisting of some from of padded metal) and is played with its large heads perpendicular to the ground. It is struck by mallets, not sticks, and is the heartbeat of the marching band.(*whispers* unless its Richard playing)
Mezzoforte: n. Not in percussion or trumpet vocabulary. Woodwinds, feel free to improvise as to what this means.
Mezzopiano, Piano,: See 'mezzoforte'.
Band Director - n. That man (sometimes woman) that stands in front of the band and waves his hand or a baton around like an idiot, hoping someone will get the message. Note that the band director is always correct, and if (s)he is wrong, refer to the fact that (s)he is always correct.
Stick-
Noun Device that makes the snares LOUDER THAN YOU
Noun Weapon of choice of the drum line mafia.
Verb The technique used to play a drum. may be fatal if done incorrectly.
Trombone-(Noun) Wind driven pitch approximater
Drum Major-
Noun Music Natzi.
Noun Marching Natzi
Mace-(Noun) Long metal rod, usually in the colors of the respective band, that is used by drum majors to beat time.
Noun Long metal rod, usually in the colors of the respective band, that is used by drum majors to beat disobedient band members.
Bass Clarinet-(Noun) An instroment that when played correctly, STILL cannot be heard. the tuba-wannabe of the woodwinds. They have very similar parts, but fall short of tuba magic.
Ritard. - verb? Short for ritardando which means exactly what it looks like; Slow down.
Piano - adj. Softly. This word does not exist in Brass vocabulary, unless you play a concert French Horn, in which case it's only in your vocabulary sometimes. Also used to refer to the instrument. If you are a woodwind instrument, you should be familiar with this, so your definition is 'Play under or support the brass'
Tuner - noun. That little annoying thing you try to match your pitch to. If you play brass, this is just the annoying thing part, matching it isn't an requirement.
Drop - verb. To do push-ups until told to stop, or until you pass out
Ten Hut - noun. The state of being at attention. verb. To come to attention. It means don't move or you will drop (see above)
Fall apart: (v.) 1: To have the band not watch the conductor, and go their own ways. Only once has this worked that I know of, where it looked like everything was supposed to be half-a-beat off...the band was luckily consistant with its epic fail. 2: To fall apart, when something quite literally FALLS APART
Attention - Another word for standing absolutely still while sticking out your butt and chest like a bird; what drum majors, directors, and section leaders never get.
Concert - Torture for band members and audience, esp. when exceeding an hour.
Color Guard - People who try to distract the audiences attention from the band with flags, sabers and rifles; people who distract the band; the evil ones that continually hit band people with flags and other objects as they jazz run across the field.
Melody - The main part of a song that is usu. played by the trumpets, Flutes, or other screachingly loud instruments.
Oboe - Double-reeded instrument that sounds like a mosquito.
Slouch - What Trumpets (NATHAN!!) do during concert season.
Suckish: adj: when your band member gives you a new piece of music and you when you start to site read, it's hard to play, or your part is way easy than from everyone elses in the whole band room, and you want to rip it up and burn it.
most annoyingest: when you shout your band teacher's name dozens of times and he/she does not or does not want to hear you.
Cork grease: that stuff that looks like chap stick that is applicated to any piece of cork on your instument and makes it easier to put together your instument....can also be replaced, (although not recommended) with chap stick
Shuffle Step: The act of trying to regain sync with fellow band members while marching - Result is usually bumping the person in front of you causing the whole line to stumble and thus the whole band having to stop and start again, or tripping and falling face first into the ground while trying to save your instrument.
TUBA: the ultimate death machine of the band. Whether by deafening or blugeoning, it is a force to be reckoned with.
Marching band: A group of individuals who wander around on a football field pretending to follow a drum major, while making noise that vaguely resembles overplayed songs.
Concert band: A group of individuals who play music forced upon them, complain about their parts, and put on poorly attended concerts in the winter and spring. Usually play at a decent or good level, however, and are magically capable of turning sound into music.
Trombonist: An individual of a slightly higher perversion level than the average human. You can recognize a trombonist by the fact that their right arm is usually longer than their left, they usually have really poor taste in humor, and speak loudly or obnoxiously.
Trumpet player: An individual who always likes to out-yell, out-shine, or out-play all other in their general area, but succeeds only in sounding obnoxiously loud. See blaring.
Flautist: Rather loopy individuals with temporary vanity complexes, prone to flighty moods, and the tendency to slouch to the right when sitting.
Drummer: An individual who is assigned the task of keeping the band in tempo, but can't keep time him(or her)self. He or she usually tends to speed up when excited by the increasing volume of the group. Incapable of looking at a director.
Tubas(players not instruments): Queer folk. xD
Cadence - The optional beat to follow while marching;assigned to the percussion section to make them feel like they serve a purpose; Most of the time the cadence is only to cover the mistakes of the other instruments and attempt to prevent the shuffle step (see def)
mouthpiece-the silver part on a brass instrument tha hurts your teeth when you hit them
baton: long pointy object that a BD uses to try to keep the band together. (It only works sometimes) ALSO: what everyone wants to shove up the percussion's nose when they speed up.
Tuning--v. Process through which multiple instruments are adjusted so that they can, in theory, play on the same pitch; typically a futile effort; unheard of by picolos (even if known, makes no difference)
Treble Clef--n. the higher of the two clefs; used by high/middle instrumentalists; unheard of by true low instrumentalists (if used by low instrument, they are a trumpet/clarinet whimp)
Trumpet Whimp--n. Low brass player who plays treble
Clarinet Whimp--n. Low woodwind player who plays treble
Blat--n. 1. Sound produced by brass instrument being played too loud; 2. Fatal technique perfected by trumpets; 3. Sound reminiscent of a bassoon
Whore--n. Possessive term for someone who zips your jacket
Shoulder Mounted Tuba--n. See bazooka
Slide Grease--n. 1. Substance used to lubricate tuning slides and trombone slides; 2. Substance used to "lubricate" "tuning slides" and "trombone slides" (a.k.a. boners)
band stands- when the band constantly feels the need to stand on something or someone
plumes- n. the feather impersonator that is allergic to the rain.
awww!:the response many trumpet players (especially firsts) have to the expression "ok, trumpets, i no it says double forte, but since there are 20 of you, not too loud"
flag happy judge: marching band judge who has just been hit by flag, subsequently gives band extra points for concentration.
nervous group: the group/line of band peoples a guardie must do flagwork thru.
dr. beat: something known only to band members. complete mystery to certain guard members
shock: wut rest of band goes into when band director says trumpets are playing too softly.
Flats- A almost unheard of specimen to the clarinet section
sforzando- a warning to anyone sitting near the trumpets to ABANDON SHIP
Mellophone: Brass instrument similar in construction to a trumpet, although similar in tone to a French Horn, typically used in marching bands. Also refers to the players of such instruments, who can be moody, tempermental, and play extremely loudly when annoyed or angered, rivaling the volume of a trumpet.
fortissimo forte - (n) what the timpani does no mater what
Baton - (N) also known as ``stick thingy``, what band nerds try to follow, usually unsuccessfully.
Blastissimo Con Forte - (n) what band nerds do when mad at BD.
Deaf - (N) a condision both band nerds and BD never get
Flag- The bane of all band members who come within a 10ft radius.
Caffeine- Beverage absolutely necessary to maintain sanity and consciousness on long band trips
Piccolo- an instrument that is assigned to those that no one wants to hear play. WARNING biggrin O NOT PLAY AROUND DOGS
Percussionist- One of the many people who mistakenly joined band because they wanted to avoid physical activity.
Dynamics- Strange markings on the sheet music whose meanings has been lost to the passages of time
Equipment manager- The band student who is so hopelessly devoted to band that they submit to loading and unloading band equipment on every trip. They may say they don't care about being acknowledged, but in reality, thats all the do it for.
End-of-the-year trip- A big trip at the end of the year. Usually spans a few days and includes only moderate supervision. Sometimes the only reason most people stay in band
bad oboeist= ALL OBOEISTS!!
sight reading=a possible form of torture when the song is taken over the tempo it's supposed to be played at. Otherwise can be quite pleasant.
Band director's trombone: ocassionally called a duck by the stupider band members; you will get killed by a very irate trombone
Freshman (AKA 'Fresh Meat'): A new person in marching band that is then claimed to be the Whore of a Senior member. Also fetches items for said senior
Presto: That tempo marking that scares the s**t out of tubas
first clarinet- very smart hard working poeple that usually have a fun and whacky side
second clarinet- stupid unworthy slackers that only pretend to play or play so off key it screws everyone up
saxophones- all very different people that can be bipolar (me)
french horns- defination unavailable beacuse they do absolutely nothing
first trumpets- hard woking very talented slightly weird boys (or girls in other bands)
second trumpets- stupid boys that are mean to all people (except their fellows)
trombones- boys that could be good if they werent to busy with football
Baton: Possesive 'thingy' of the conductor, for which he thinks he has absolute power when in his possesion.;N the "Beat-Stick!!"
Flute: Magical silver stick that every person, that plays this instrument, seems to be lacking in self esteem.
Claranet: Magicla wooden stick thatcan float on water and make strange sounds when blown.
French Horn: Spawn of all evil... Need I say more
Tuba/Sousaphone: only people who have bawls, play this beloved instrument.;N gift from God!
crash cymbal: 1.a concave plate of brass or bronze that produces a sharp, ringing sound when struck: played either in pairs, by being struck together, or singly, by being struck with a drumstick or the like. 2.an ancient weapon used to scare the s**t out of people by crashing them in the immediate area around someones head.
Chicken- The plumes that you put on your marching hat.
Bread Truck- A reference to spacing in marching positions (ex. Fix that gap you could drive a bread truck through it! or Spread out a bit, you'll be hit by a bread truck. [one of our band members actually almost got hit by a real bread truck on one band trip...after that we didn't know whether to laugh or to be scared])
Piccolo- A high pitched mini-flute designed to deafen other band members and be practically untuneable. (Q: How do you tune two piccolos? A: Shoot one.)
Trumpet- The instrument you don't want to sit near.
Arch- An unintentional nearly straight line.
Line- An unintentional arch.
High Step- A ridiculous horse trot like form of marching.
Train Song- The Great Locomotive Chase
Saxophones (all kinds): the wierdos. aka-pervs, idiots, and just plain strange. if you're normal, you're the odd ball out in that section, so that's an indication to get out if you dont' wanna be considered wierd. many of them are jerks.
Guard: the cheerleaders of the band. many of them are stuck up, but every once in a while you will find someone who's miraculously not. it is believed that any guy who enters Color Guard is majorly gay.
Accelerando- hurry up, the conductor skipped another page...
Money- a mythical creation musicians have never seen
Cucumber-N. The slang term relating to the shiney thing that goes around your waist in a band outfit. Often an be sed to strange other disobedient band members.
Cumberbund- see cucumber
Clarianets and Saxamophones- N. often the duet of one clarinet and saxophone in harmony to a certain song with no music. V. Can also refer to the act of a clarinet and saxophone playing together.
DDR and Guitar Hero-N. a band student's mock midterm and final.
Hardcore-V. to cross your arms over your body but out in the air, showing that the band is hardcore or invincable no matter how small. Also shows the true ability to obliterate a colorguard to half it's size so then you get the dedicated guard.
Dedicated Guard-N. a true color guard that goes for being fun, is friwendly to band.
Dog Guard- N. The part of the guard that is lame and thinks that they are superior,try to stomp on/insult band.
Percussion- Instruments that must be beaten on to be played. Also see "Anger management"
Drummer- Percussionist that likes to hit things. Rhythm not needed.
Percussionist- A drummer that started on the piano; also gets to play timpani and car parts. When with drummers, most unusual section.
Concertmaster/mistress- The band suck-up.
Saxophones- (1. alto)- The guys that wanted to look cool, or girls that wanted in. (2. tenor) The emos with long hair that the clarinets, flutes, and percussionists like to use for ponytail practice.
Piano- turn it up, the neighbors can't here us
Forte- turn it down, the neighbors are knocking
Baroque- When you are out of Money.
pianissimo - level of sound almost impossible for piccolo players
Floutists: Either preppy or emo.
Rallentando: The thing that is not in a band nerd's dictionary.
Fingering: Combinations of buttons and keys pressed on an instrument, or there's another definition.
1, 2, 3, 4: The only thing an unworthy band nerd would know if someone said "4-4 time, everyone! Not 5 beats a measure! We're not playing Mission Impossible!!!!" Note, see Mission Impossible.
Rump Involuntary: The alternate title to "Trumpet Voluntary"
Bringer o' Jo: The alternate title to Bringer of Joy.
Alternate name for a trombone player that works at a coffee shop.
Mission Possible: The most difficult song, re rendering of Mission Impossible.
Band Relationships: Amazing when they're together, but we are in heck when they break up! I want to quit band now!
Apples to Apples: A amazingly fun game that band nerds play after the spring concert in band class.
Palotters- (fusion of the words plays alot) Someone who learns many instruments but isn't really that good at any of them. Someone who basically plays that instrument if needed only by bd or just bored.
Female Trumpet Player: Practices often, trying to destroy the stereotype that has been thrusted upon her section. Described as a hard worker, also as a tom-boy. She is often upset because she didn't make the wrestling team because that would be 'too wierd'.
Male Trumpet Player: Someone who enjoys poking the above, throwing spit wads, and just being obnoxious in one way or another. A good one is only obnoxious outside of band and during a break, a bad one is just annoying all the time. Often perverted.
Metronome: The bane of all musicians. "I have to play it THAT FAST!!!!" Often a helpful tool to annoy siblings with.
Vibraphone: What the percussion section hides under when they've done something stupid. Is forbiden to touch by none percussionists. Seriously, they go A-wall on you.
Baritone Saxophone "bari": The Tuba of the woodwind section, very deep and often mistaken for a tuba, the baritone sax is the most elusive and largest of the saxophone family, a formidable weapon, it is the only saxophone with a spit valve and an extra key it is the only known saxophone that can be louder and more annoying then the tuba and trumpets combined, the baritone sax is only playable by the elite few and all others who try end up dying from lack of air or end up getting locked inside the bari sax case by angry baritone saxophone players who caught them messing with their precious "bari" sax instrument.
Embouchure- the way you're mouth forms around the mouthpiece, or right above the head joint!!
Orgasmic- Something percussion says when a piece of music or a marching group in general does something so amazing you gasm.
Dr. Beat - The little man inside your head screaming at you in annoying bleeps to stay in tempo.
Climax - The proper way to create a cymbal swell.
ex. "You must get the cymbal to climax for it to sound good."
Tuba - The v****a on the band.
Toothpaste - Substance used to clean teeth that must be squeezed out of its tube while marching. See also Grape/Dime.
Grape/Dime - Objects clenched in the buttocks while marching.
Flaggot - A male in Color Guard XD
Bus: the main transportation of the band. Funny and weird things happen on band buses. Also a portable changing room.
Late: On time
be here at 7:00- im telling you to be here at 7:00 so that those of you who are always late will get here at the time you should be here which is 7:30
section leader n. 1. the person who is the best in the section, also always right. 2. the person with the right to beat up other members of the section when they don't do something right.
mallet n. the thing percussionists use to hit the more delicate instruments in the back.
blastissimo n. the trumpets dynamic.
fortepiano n. the mysterious fp on a piece of music that is impossible to master. (you can't be loud and quiet at the same time!)
section n. a group of people who play the same or similar instruments.
One More Time - Three more times
Cornfield - a way of understanding music. Known as "In a cornfield, naked, covered with butter"
Squeezing Grape - a way of understanding marching. Known as "Squeeze the Grape (in your butt)
7/8 - most confusing beat to follow and march with.
Spirit Stick - just a plain wooden stick that people can win to decorate at band camp. Anything can happen to the Spirit Stick once given to band student.
Jazz Marching - sticking your legs out far and almost jumping. Must still be in marching form and must crouch to ground.
band class n. home of the horny and the musical. see also: sex ed
low brass n. group of trombones, baritones, tubas, bari saxes, bass clarinets, et cetera that band together to make an actual section see also: kickass
sixteenth notes n. for snares and woodiewinds, a way of life. for everyone else, a huge nightmare.
slide v. marching step everyone avoids n. boner part of a trombone
jazz band n. form of torture in which you get to school an hour before it starts to get more credits
dynamics n. the mystery object your band teacher mentions every day
percussion closet n. used to store drums and such. also a place to hold raves
overtone n. supposidly what happens when you're in tune. no one has ever heard it before.
Flute: an instrument that plays high notes that at times may hurt several ears at once. also can be used as a lightsaver. Warning: flutes dont accually glow and hurt worse then the lightsavers in star wars when hit on the head
Brass players: musicians who like to be heard.
Mf: the softest dynamic in the Brass dictionary.
PP: short for pianissimo, the only dynamic playable by oboe players.
BPM: 170 of these is torture for marching band members.
Good posture: something the trumpets can't seem to grasp.
Rookie sad n)(dead) Person new to the band; new unit in an ensenble
(adj) Punchingbag for low brass
Reed-a tampon
Polishing cloth-a pad
Retarted pinky-the left pinky only if you are right handed most of the time
Gather round(my band does this IDK if urs does)-the director wanting to tourture you after the long practice you have just had
Hooker-the person that decideds to hook that stupid hook on ur uniform that you can do your self
splurge vb ; for all the band members to gather and plan devious pranks against the opposing band/band teacher.
Trombonish-(adjective) Sounding like or relating to the trombone
Uber Note- (noun) All notes played at once
Tromboners- (noun) People who play the trombone
Firsties- (noun) First chair players
Saturday morning-(?) Unknown meaning.
Saturday(n)- Festival day
Weenily(v)- 1) The act of playing like a weeny. Commonly used in clarinet sectionals with the word 'don't' 2)A term in the clarinet volcabulary used only during sectionals.
Rollstep(v)- the way of marching. Also known as the blister or pain step.
Cork Grease(n)- item used on woodwind corks to make it easier to put together. Does not, however, make it easier to take appart. Do not use excessively in Arizona
Drill chips- OH s**t! I forgot them again!
Water break: (n) A rare occurance where the entire band goes to the watering hole (coolers) for an indefinite time at the leader's discretion.
These typically occur after several runs of "ONE MORE TIME, GUYS, THEN WE'LL GET WATER!"
After-school-percussion rehearsal: (n) The only time of day where you can tell your director how to do something and have him listen to you.
Allegro: n. A style the high brass are accustomed to.
Assistant Band Director: n. The organizational one. Making sure the office, music library, and lockers are in order. Makes the Band Director look good. (see Band Director)
Bass flute: n. An absolutely amazing flute that plays an octave below the C flute, and for which many dedicated flute players would gladly sell their soul.
Poison darts: What the piccolo players shoot out of their piccolos to murder people with, generally the clarinets who are NEVER in their sets and the bandwhore who won't stop making out with his girlfriend.
BOBO: Person who can't play or do anything right; Have the risk of a shoe being thrown at them by the BD XP
BE QUIET: You can talk if nobody catches you.
CLARINET: A giant p***s that sqeaks
SHUT UP: If you make any type of noise you will be dragged out into the street and beat with a large blunt object by every other member of the band until you are a bloody corpse.
INSTRUCTOR: Someone payed to tell you when you screw up.
BAND ORGY: When a group of band members huddle together for "warmth". This is very prone to happen late in marching season.
Safety Circle: Most often occurs in small group of bandmates (approx. 4-9), in which this group huddles around each other in the pool of a hosting hotel and makes loud police siren noises, yells of RAPE, etc.
Chimes Mallet: Hard. Used for striking the brass tubes of the chimes to make a melodious sound... But more often used to strike Joshua Kahney over the head for failing at life.
Cortales: Not Mexican. And NOT "Like, uhmm them maracca thingies?"
Pit sad n) Lazy Beasts; play baseball in the band room while you're learning marching fundamentals outside.
marimba n. a percussion instrument that is easily damaged from falling out of backs of trucks
cubby hole n. a hole ranging in size depending on your instrument that band people live in
music stand n. a musician's art board for curing boredom
View User's Journal
Heart's corner of quiet expression (sometimes)
I write what I write... dont like it? GET THE ******** AWAY THEN
 |
