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~TwIsTeD tHoUgHtS~ Hoping... watching... waiting... realising...


blood filled cries
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~Twisted Memory~
why does it hurt when someone hurts you..
the physical pain is nothing more than
your emotions focused on one thought of your body..
so why does it hurt?




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Life...
Life sucks sometimes, throwing you the stupidest stuff... Letting everyone knwo that I am still alive is still apart of life... Haha... to those of you who know me. I am barely on even still... Sorry for worrying you if you did worry. My grandmother is in the hospitol... it kinda sucks... but she should be ok... I am just hoping for the best, but I am prepaired for the worst...



blood filled cries
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dev1



blood filled cries
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If I could say sorry...
Theres someone, who's really close to me... Closer then close.. I just want to be able to hold her... yet... I almost ******** up... I guess you could say I fell inlove with her. Its amazing, how quickly you can break something, and it takes forever to build... Really amazing... I'm sorry to her, yet I don't feel thats enough... I can't stop saying it to her... I even shead real tears for the first time in a long time... Whats happening to me... What is it... What is it that keeps poking at my soul... The one thats barely there...




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STILL HERE!
uh oh, I gotta go to my dad's house for a week on saturday... I'm scared... he creeps me out sometimes with his stupidity.. >_> <_<



blood filled cries
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dev1



blood filled cries
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Been a while.
Its been a while sence my last post in my journal so may aswell do an update. I would like to report that I have beaten the game called metal gear solid 2 in under 2 hours. wink I am a huge fan of those games. heart heart heart Anyways, I have also beaten metal gear solid 1 in under 4 hours... sweatdrop I'm not so good at that one. Most people think I am a game fanatic because I sit there and beat games quicker then them. Truth is I can do it because I don't consentrait on the games themselves. whee but really, I look at them when they play games and their all like eek . but then I play the game and I'm just sitten there watching waiting. Then its over. I reicently beat kingdom hearts in under 14 hours. Yay!!! blaugh I rule. Lol, I have beaten kindgom hearts Chain of memories in under 20 hours too. ^-^ It took me 32 hours to beat em both the first time. xp but anyways. I can't wait for kingdom hearts 2 to come out. I will kick a** in that game. but everyone thinks that I will be shocked that I can't beat it in under 20 hours... I think I will be able to in the first try. 3nodding Enough about games. I am doing quite well, have stoped cutting and working on stopping my smoking. ^-^ I feel sooo good about my relationship too. Everything around me is going quite well rather then the hellhole it used to be. I am quite changed by the fact that everyone around here is just so down all the time. I figured I would be the first to be happy and everyone else started to aswell. I am in my perfect little world now. Lol, the only thing I have trouble with now is school... I was homeschooled but after this year I am going back to highschool and going into the 9th grade, I should be in 10th. stare With this all said and done I will now click submit and smile some more. whee




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Deepest secret in the world. My heart.
I HAVE NO SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!































the real secret is that I love the dark... Afraid of nothing but the light.



blood filled cries
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dev1



blood filled cries
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Thinkin...
Thinkin of re pickin up the blade... Even though I set it aside.... May aswell pick it back up but who knows... I will give it till the end of the week before I make my final disision... Whatever though.




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Smoking again
I'm starting to smoke again... Its better then cuttin myself... I stoped cutting so whatever...



blood filled cries
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dev1



blood filled cries
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What if...
What if everything I worked for just suddenly droped.
Enough of that... Why can't I just do work. Do my god damn school work. I do not get a choice. I have to do it but why can't I? What if I did do it?




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