"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to
seek and find all the barriers within yourself that
you have built against it." ~ Jalal ad-Din Rumi
Status: 6:30 PM, neck hurts.
I called him today. We talked and talked. I'm glad. Me and mom drove up to DR and shopped for a while. Bought a new winter outfit ^~^. It's cute. Dad came home, we had fried chicken. Not much has happened.
Except my drawings. Can't draw on computer anymore. Don't know why. Can only draw on paper. Makes me mad. But I'm working on it.
Started cutting again, only.. I can't break skin anymore. I don't know why. Wrote something bout it in class. I'll type it.
I can't break skin anymore. That terrifies me. I don't wantto bleed, I just want to stop. And that thought terrifies me even more. I like the feelings of the scissors running down my wrists, but I don't want the blood. I am depressed. I hate myself. I'm scared. I need help. I can't fix myself again. I've done it once, and I'm scared to try again. I'm so scared. Someone help me. I'm told everyday that when you write on yourself, the ink can seep into your bloodstream and kill you. I keep waiting for someone to notice.
Status: 6:34 PM, dying inside.
Happy Colours Community Member 
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