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i feel old
i feel old. i found my 2ed, 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade class pictures and now i'm soon to graduate from high school. it just makes me feel old and it doesnt seem real. in less than 4 months i will graduate and i have no direct plan for my future. i mean i am going to college but not for another year. i want to be an artist but what am i going to do after i finish college? there isnt much to get up for besides the bare esintals. i get up in the morning just because i have to go to school. i dont have a job and my mother is hardly talkative unless she wants some thing or some thing hasnt been done that she wants done and thats when she yells. my main thing to do is school and beyond that is nothing more than a meaningless life. i have no more drive than a battry oberated robot. who is programed to do no more than what its intended to do. my brothers and my mother turn to me when they want food. i hardly eat at home if i dont feel hungry. when by myself at home i dont even turn on the lights unless i need to. i dont call people usally unless nessasary. my life fells more like a dream i woke up from and it turns out to be true. i dont know what to do. everthing seems surreal and real at the sametime. i just dont get it. i wasnt ready to feel this way. i wasnt ready to enter the world like this. i know im sopoused to get over it and get on with my life but its not working no matter what i tell my self.
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