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I got bored, okay?!?!
Am I losing my mind,Or maybe...I'm going blind? I don’t see the pretty faces that I remember from my past.I can’t follow the steps that others cared to leave behind. Every time I wake up, my eyes are tortured, once more. Torchured with blurred images of life, one of Which I had never recognized.As I grow old, my face gets dark. My eyes sink deep in, and my heart beats fast. I’m anxious. I’m confused. I’m supposed to learn more as time gets me old, but when I think finally I’ve learned, something slaps me just to tell me that I know nothing at all. I never thought that life is pretty. I knew that... long time ago. What I can’t manage is how it changes! How the places. How the faces, and the people I trusted most are just the shadows that surround me. And the tears are what seem to fright me, through this dark path that I chose. Observe. Stupidity, ugliness, immaturity combined as Innocence. A blessing of non existence, the lack of individuality. A curse of existing. Of having your own identity. Never produced by your brand name or music preference. Society prefers conformists over differences. Conformists hate differences, so they become terrorists. True power wielders with the ability to dominate. Conformists terrorise individuals and they transform. The most important aspect of the infinite Circle. The fight starts, the conformist throws his first knife. Slashed across her wrist, she returns to reality. A place where the people are Innocent. The bystanders, the conformists, the adults run. Leaving reality, leaving innocence, leaving identity Alone. Floating in the sky, as the individuals and conformists are observed.When will this pain go away? When will the feeling of emptiness disappear from the coldness of my heart? I have bad dreams of the secrets of my mind. Hurting me, making me believe my soul is undone. The thought of things really happening. I'm scared, I can't hear my thoughts. They're running like a wild crazy horse. I want to cry, but it can never be. My feelings bruised each day, the more I return the more insane I truely become. I cannot handle this craziness that has overcome me like a freight train. I'm not anyone, I'm myself, unique and crazy. Please, someone tear me away from this unbearing world I stand in today, wondering. Wondering Why? I feel so sad that I wish to close my eyes, and never ever again set my eyes again on this world. This world, which is a place so sad at times, that I hate being its part and associating me with it seems like an insult. This insult makes me feel so insulted, that I wish I could close my eyes and never wake up again, to take a glimpse upon this world. Since every time I glance, I feel sad and feel like closing my eyes, forever, I do as I persue. I sit alone. No style. No throne. My feminine side surrendered. Torn. Now, to my abiss renders of my endless self guilt too surrenders. To Myself. As I, only I, have myself. As I cry, in that white sterile room, alone with such gloom, rhyming, could not even begin to ease my pain. Each day. Again and again. It's lashing. Thrashing. Eternally mental drain. I reached for you, but you had gone. My fate was drawn, though you could not see what was ahead of me. Knot in my beast. I lingered too long my life I did detest.Alone...Alone in your presence I longed for oh, so desperately. Some kind of reverence. I watched your selfishness as I complied. I even tolerated far too many selfish lies. Your heart starved, to abide within my fear. Your own pleasure was all you held dear. Now horribly scared, to be impaired. My beauty to me denied, forced to within hide. Yes...It did sadden me. You never, not once, never even for me, cried. My endless, hopelessness. Your love to me. Your denied. The black thick untied hair of the night, nature in its bed with soundless sleep. Silence enjoying the moonless night. Depth of sleep in my eyes, with not a sole creature roaming around. A voice appeared to break the silence, as if someone in my dreams called me. My eyes, half opened, unable to trace the mysterious call. His face hidden behind the darkness, only bold voice could be heard. Unidentified language he speaks. The stranger, pointing his fingers at me, seems like an awareness for some happening...Or some mystery he wants to reveal. I followed the figure where he takes me, after crossing a few miles it vanished. I stood alone standing there. Turned back and saw some faces. Faces of the poor beings. Children who starve for food. The hungry people asking me 'why are you impious towards us?'. They take us to be their God, and expect a few from us. The faces all together. Asking me ceaselessly. Their hubbub disturbed me, and I woke up from the scary dream. I opened my eyes, peering towards the window. I raised the curtain, and saw sitting there two small children who started their day begging. Needle pricks. Blood checks. Litmus strips. No vigor. Blood sugar. Terrific figure. One seventy fasting. Three sixty post eating! Urine sugar. Three plus. Four plus...Nonplus! Lipid profile. Medical file. Not agile. Walk many a mile! Tread mills. Doctor bills. Medical pills...Agony kills! Insulin pricks. Metformin strips. Hospital trips...Bank balance flips! Stamlobeta. Food on quota. Don’t worry ‘Beta’...No problem an iota!No more Sweet sound of life. No more Meat, dripping with rare blood. No more Cake...No more Coke! Don’t eat fruit like a brute. Can’t be without liquor? It will sure pucker! Obesity. Acidity. Arteries block. Heart Attack! Failing eye sight. Liver and kidney not all right. Heart beat not bright and straight. Pissing frequent all through night. How long will I go through this fight? This is the misery of a Diabetic Who was once a Workaholic. Diabetic’s sweet woes should not suffer, even foes! At midnight has the sun risen in obedience to an unknown command. Strangely, it up ascends against the ominous dark sky. In the brightness of its strength,
perhaps! A cessation of normality and onto the wilderness was light. In a coyly manner, secrets unfold unhurriedly. Accompanied by an ephemeral cloudburst. The trespasser sun is subdued. Smoke particles move up sinuously. Revealed is nothing. I sigh. Back to bed; curious still. Deep in my slumber was heard
..."Sinister it is"
At my listening door were they...Who?-The crowd of onlookers, prattling at such an ungodly hour."Sinister it is" I sigh again, but wonders they say shall never end. How do i start this off? I am lost. Lost in time, and lost in life. I am lost to my family and my friends. Will this road ever end? A life of looking over your shoulder and not knowing who's there. A life of fake people and their empty stares. A life of repeating everything and not understanding anything. A life of repeating everything and not understanding anything. I am lost in this world and in my mind. I feel im running out of time. Like my family and friends this poem is coming to an end. I am lost. Lost on a road to nowhere. Will i ever be found? In his mansion, millionaire celebrates marriage bash. Without derision, a hungry beggar scans for food. In garbage...trash. One not able to digest the over eaten rich food, vomits. One not able to taste such food, his wants and dreams remits oasis of riches and revelry. Mirages of pandemonium and penury. Salacious prosperous life croons, harrowing Stealthy poor moans. Is this the pervert desert’s inventory? The desert is my dear country! With imploring voice i fearfully plead. On my flesh should vultures feast. Let the farmished scavengers ravage, pecking In an insistent manner. Ravenously, rapaciously, rapidly. Yes! My skin badly lacerated. Wounded and torn by greedy beaks. In bits and shreds my common be upon the hour of transition come. The hour i ingloriously die. Set ablaze my earthly whole, like the rejected burnt offering. Till of nothing but ash remains and at the quench of the flame. A shroud quickly laid over. So mouths, shall you be held wide agape? Like witnesses of a ghastly accident? Shush! Joyously spit and mock past by. Gossip to your meddlesome neighbours. For from the ashes i rose and of ashes i return. In clear wakefulness, I saw a ghostly apparition. Cloaked in black apparel. Siihouetted against a wall. A pure white wall with blood smeared and spilled all over.
 ll Epic Stalker ll · Wed Nov 04, 2009 @ 03:04am · 0 Comments |
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