Babies, cute, lovable, and unjudgemental. But is this really all there is to them, perhaps, but I don't think so. Now if you read the previous entry, you would know that I am insane, which is something you will have to realize and get past in these scenarios.Parentheses, (), implies that the baby is thinking his or her reply, seeing as babies don't talk.
SCENARIO #1: YOU WANT BABA?
Mother: You want BABA?[In a fake baby voice]
Baby: (WHAT THE HELL IS A BABA, WOMAN? JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN BOTTLE!)
Mother: You DO want baba, don't you?
Baby: (I WILL KILL YOU)
Mother: You have to open your mouth if you want BABA.
Baby: (And you have to shut your mouth, or else!)
Mother: Here comes the train!
Baby: (You stupid b***h, you only say that for food, not milk.May MOMOmoto, the baby God, have mercy on you the day I am able to operate all of my limbs at once!)
Mother: Oh, your first word and/or complete sentence.
***
Reporter: In other news, a woman is reported to have been murdered by someone shoving a baby bottle in her throat while she slept. On the body there was a note that read " I, the unlucky son of this stupid b***h, am the one who killed this woman." Next to the note was a video tape with a recording of the baby, killing it's mother by shoving the bottle in her throat, thus suffocationg her. Her husband was taken in for bookin this morning.
SCENARIO #2: POOPY PANTS
Baby: (Man I got a load in my pants so big that the UNIVERSE would collapse into my diaper if it was opened right now.)
Babysitter: I'm going to be honest with you little dude, I am so stoned that if you had a dirty diaper right now, I would most likely push the turds back in you and put a cork in there to prevent them from making thier way out.
Baby: (That made no sense, yet I believe that on some level, that would be sexual harrasment.
Babysitter: Man your ceiling is high!
Baby: (Not as high as you are you pale, pot-smoking, camel-necked, undergraduate!)
Babysitter: My legs are so skinny.
Baby: (I will take your legs, wrap them around your neck, shove your toes in your mouth, and shove your knees up your a** if you don't change my diaper this instant! And I don't think it's even possible to do those things simutaneously!)
Babysitter: It's too bad you can't talk little man.
Baby: (Oh, that is IT!)
***
Reporter: Today, 2 more bodies were found. A baby and Cumon Litsgustoned, a college dropout of 22 years. The police confirmed it to be a murder-suicide. The squirrels that live in the tree next to the house was taken in for bookin this morning.
Squirrel#1: What the hell, I didn't even know we lived near people.
Squirrel#2: If they know that it's a murder-suicide, then why did they get us.
Squirrel#3: Don't doubt the human legal system guys.
Squirrel#1: I knew we should have let that tree-snake eat you.
SCENARIO #3: Baby Conversations
Baby#2: How come you can walk now and I can't.
Baby#1: I had learn to walk so that I could kill my mother.
Baby#2: So you're the kid from the news?
Baby#1: Yep, it doesn't make sense though, you traveled to your babysitter's house and killed him and you still can't walk.
Baby#2: Dude, I killed myslef in the 2nd scenario and yet here I am talking to you.
Baby#1: Wait so you're a ghost, AHHHHH, MOMMY, oh wait, that's right.
Baby#2: Don't worry, I'm not the ghost of Baby#2[ghost morphs], I'm the ghost of your mother, YOU WANT BABA?
Baby#1: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO yeah I want BABA. stare
Chief Dr L A Reddick Community Member 
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