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Sic vis pacem parabellum story
Friday; oh how I have longed for this Friday to come round. I have been working so tirelessly trying to keep on top of the masses of paperwork. Sometimes it seems as though I am surrounded by those demon sheets of white. At least I’m heading to the Mary Vale Care Centre and do my final 5pm to 8pm shift for the week. It is so painstaking holding down two jobs between 8am and 8pm every weekday; you certainly become grateful that you have the weekends free.
My grandmother was becoming increasingly frailer as the years go by, she needed better care than I could provide. My job at the school around the corner doesn’t pay very, so I made an agreement with the care home. I agreed to help the care centre with my secretarial skills, in exchange for the care she needed.
Other than the extreme gratitude it was Friday my thoughts focused to Stefan, he’s back home tonight from he’s family trip. Of course I couldn’t go, but in some ways it makes me think that it’s better that way. You kind of get to comfortable with mundane path crossing and impromptu booty sessions. Not that I didn’t love the latter. It adds a little more fire to the romance because were so lust driven.
Well I have to work first; can’t get to excited when another set of demon sheets are beckoning me inside the care centre. I trigger the sensor of the automatic door opening the view to a simple room leading to the main desk. The musky old oak smell is the first sense that reminds me that my grandmother is here. It lingers in the air like a faint mist on a crisp clear day.
Jen calls out to me when she claps her bright green eyes on me, she was a young and slender female of a mid twenties age. One thing was for sure nothing got this lady down; not even grumpy residents that want more of that springy jelly mass. “Hay, Hay Elicia; guess what? Some guys came in today and said they needed all the paper work”
“Do you have any idea why?” I asked out of mild curiosity, considering that my job is to maintain the paperwork and filing for the care home. Jan stared at me for a while with She lifts a finger to her chin, tilting her head slightly towards the ceiling before she snapped back into reality
“I think they said that their boss needs to check them over” she replied when a sudden a smile broke over her face as if she was going to grant a wish “you know, that means that you don’t have to work so hard tonight. Go and spend some time with Erica. She wanted to grab some time with you; she found her box of yahtzee and wanted to play with you”
I recalled the years of endless yahtzee playing when I was younger, growing up with my grandparents I always got roped into all kinds of board games. Yahtzee was a particular favourite of my granddad’s but that was just because he was a lucky old man. Since his passing my grandmother couldn’t bring herself to play it anymore. I wonder what changed.
Instead of over analysing the sudden change of heart I made my way through to the main recreation room. I saw her sitting at her usual place with a book in hand and the box of yahtzee placed beside her on the table. I gave my gran the biggest hug I could without hurting her and kissed her gently on the cheek before moving to the chair on the other side of the table.
“Elicia! Your early tonight, it isn’t 7:30 yet” she said to me with that warm bright smile on her face. Maybe finding the yahtzee box after all these years has made her really happy.
“I’m all yours gran, Jen said that some people came and took the paperwork so there is nothing for me to do other than play” making a gesture to the dusty red box on the table. Gran looked at the box and pulled the lid off to display the scattered and displaced contents.
She reached in and pulled out the five dice, black shaking cup, worn down pencils and ruffled through the score sheets for the unused ones. Mixed in with all the contents was an odd looking pair of spectacles. The memories of our last game four years ago with granddad filled my thoughts. He had recently gone to an Elton John concert and was endlessly fascinated with his taste in glasses.
I personally never understood the fascination or the need to have wacky out there specs. They didn’t look all that great but granddad insisted he was going to win in style with those tinted heart shaped lenses. Gran always mused that she thought that he just wanted to show off his love for this classic dice game. Gran picked them out of the pile, starred at them for a while then placed them beside her.
“It has been a while since I saw those odd little pair of specs; my dear Michael loved them just as much as this game. I just had a feeling that today would be a good day to play. You never know; you might get your first yahtzee” she said with a wry smile. She knew that bugged me about this game and she went straight in for the sucker blow.
I leant over to get a pencil and score sheet from the collection of items now sprawled on the table. Glancing into the box containing I could see score sheets that granddad had used with his trademark writing. Conveniently every visible sheet had yahtzee scores marked off “Yeah I doubt it I don’t think that’s going to happen, I don’t have that kinda luck”
Gran put the dice into the shaking cup and made her first roll. “sheesh gran! Straight in there with three 6’s!! Dam your taking over from granddad” she let out a laugh at my expense and expression. I picked up the dice and placed them into the cup, swirling and shaking the cup like a cocktail. My Gran smiled, I think she thought I was show boating.
As I tipped the cup to let the dice fall to the table and revel my usual pathetic set of black dots, there was a banging type crashing noise from behind me. Then in complete shock I felt a searing hot mass cut across my right arm and propel forward. The sheer force and un-nervy shock made me lose grip of the cup barely containing those 5 cubes.
The next moment I was forced to live was played out in endlessly slow motion. My eyes turned to the shiny glint in the air moving on a steady course towards my gran. As tears started filling up my eyes, my vision started to look as if I was peering through the bottom of a sparkling glass. Distorted enough not to see properly but clear enough to see the irregular colour change on my grans stomach.
Gran glanced behind me, blissfully ignorant or unaware of what had happened to that now embed shiny object. With what limited mobility she had it was surprising that she could grab me from across the table. Pulling me down to the floor and then propelling her wounded and frail body on top of mine. All she uttered was ‘golden silence, golden silence, no more sounds you shall hear, till the end of golden silence’ as my face was plunged into the carpet.
My mind blanked out briefest period of time; the memories of a past I long since locked away came to the surface. A girl, I remember in a room with a lady similar and younger to my gran. There were loud voices and shouting of abuse, clamouring feet and slamming of items resonating from another place nearby.
What I recognised as being my gran told the girl who was crying out for her mummy ‘let’s play a game sweetie, you win you get chocolate. Lie down on the floor; I’m going to put my coat on you. It’s your shield of golden silence, golden silence. While you’re under their darling you shall be able to block out the noises you hear, but for you to win you have to stay quiet till the shield is removed’
The silence seemed to go on for an eternity, a never ending bubble where it seemed you were not even living. A world with nothing more than an empty and broken half life. Maybe gran must have thought I might have drawn my dad’s attention to me.
When I snapped back to reality and regained my senses, I could hear faint talking coming from boorish, oafish men that were giving their best impressions of joy. Something about their fake sounding joy made it seem like they don’t see it often enough to be truly grateful of being happy.
“Hay Ricky, it was sure an ingenious plan for this stuff to be hidden here. No one to put up a defence” I couldn’t see the speaker; I could only barely hear him. Was I in shock? Was I just in some way subconsciously still following grans game? Gran, my god. She was still resting atop of me, but as I was face down so it was impossible to look and see if she was ok.
“You’re totally right, the best part is that without all the paperwork they can’t connect Johnny to this place and providing the donations to keep this place up and running. This place was totally foolproof, the police wouldn’t even think twice about this place and even if they did then Johnny has his ways of persuading them”
What did they mean? Was this ‘persuade’ code for killing them? What would they kill for? So many questions were racing through my mind, who where these people and why shoot at us, seriously why? The silence began again; I just don’t know what the hell is happening.
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A short while later someone was moving my gran from me; was it them? “Miss” someone called out to me as they started tapping “Miss, can you hear me” the female voice that was calling out to me was actually quite sombre, not like the other voices I could only barely make out previously
“What is going on??” I murmured as I made my best attempts to move. The attempt at moving was difficult because of the stinging sensation in my right hand and the usual tingling torture you get from pins and needles everywhere else. The person who was speaking to me tried to help me, at least to get me to a seated position. Once I was upright I glanced around at what I could only describe as misery warmed up.
The residents, the staff, everyone that was once taking care of their usual mundane activities were now either sprawled across tables, flooring and various upturned items. I don’t remember the colouring being like that, oh god. “Where is my gran? Where is she? Is she alright?” I screeched in frantic agony at the thought of that rouge patch I saw appearing steadily through her clothing. “Where is she? Tell me!”
The lady looked to me, her more saddened face tilted down slightly before she said “It seems that you were they only person we found alive” The lady was looked at me with sad sympathetic expression. She appeared to be a slim and naturally attractive blond paramedic, who clearly took care of herself.
Alive! Tears began to make their mark on my face as they streamed down towards the reddened patch on the ground beneath me. Between being told I was the only one alive and being handled with by paramedics and police the world just seemed dismayed, tilted and off balance.
People were talking to me but I must have blocked it out because all I could hear was my heart beating irregularly. All I remembered saying was where I lived before running as fast as I could out the now broken and shattered no longer automatic doors.
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It seemed as though I have been walking forever, I had no idea as to what possessed me to run away from all of that. My head was tilted towards the ground watching my feet as they mechanically lifted themselves up and down. The tears had stopped but there really wasn’t any left to give. Suddenly a vibrating feeling came from my trouser pocket, I pulled the phone out and for a moment thought of just throwing it far, far away.
I have no idea what possessed me to change my mind and answer it. Stefan spoke, He was calling me from our home, I had completely forgotten that he would be home tonight and must have also lost track of time seen as he wasn’t due to get home till 2am, I didn’t even realise I had turned down our street. He quizzed me about where I was because I left the lights on and the windows open when I wasn’t in.
He talked about his family, how happy they were to see him and how they berated them for not bringing me along. I think the lack of me responding to him made him ask. “What’s wrong? You usually start telling my about your gran and how she’s doing. Has anything happened?”
At that point I was just across the road from our flat and glanced at the window, I could make out his silhouette in the curtains. I uncontrollably blurted out everything that had gone horribly wrong. Informing him of every macabre detail and saying that something just came into our lives and stole the life of someone I hold dear. I told him with a sad vocal sound that I had to watch my gran suffer and save me.
At that moment he opened the curtains and looked out the window, glancing out at our street. It only took him a handful of seconds to spot me looking aimlessly in his direction. It was the briefest of moments after our eyes meet that my heart was ripped to shreds by a resonating booming noise filling the street with greyed plumes and shattered shards of glass flying in the palely lit street.
The phone slipped from my grasp and clanked on the floor beneath me as its parts separated and spread out in various directions. I crumpled to the ground as if I was also a part of that now disassembled cell.
I thought that I had no more tears to give; oh I was so wrong on that score. I just sat there glaring at the same place I was. I was transfixed, frozen. The tears and grey smoke stinging my bitter eyes till the scene looked distorted and damaged.
What on earth is happening? Was it because of me? Why? What is happening? Why??? My hands gripped at my face as if to tare the tears from my skin. They then violently flung in the direction of the ground as I screamed what was left of my energy out into the now flooded street with bystanders gossiping and saying that this is the worst thing that could happen because the damage to the street they lived on.
The bitter thoughts and strayed emotions were just too much for one person to handle and then one bystander came behind me motioning me to my feet. He directed me away from the newly arriving police and ambulance vehicles. It felt as though I had no other choice what on earth is left for me back there, anywhere.
No father to turn to because he wasted away after his alcoholic abusiveness took its toll. No mother to turn to, she couldn’t handle living anymore and made her only stand to get away from father. Granddad, Gran my only known family life spent with them, both gone. Stefan my boyfriend, no one else left now but me.
As I was led by this person towards a vehicle, I began to think back to what Stefan said on the phone. The lights and the window, that wasn’t my doing. I snapped out of my dismay and sharply turned towards the person leading me. In some fit of self preservation I sharply said “Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?”
“I’ve done nothing to you” was his reply “look; it’s not safe for either of us to be out and about there are eyes and ears everywhere. We have to move, I know you don’t know me but you need to trust me. It’s your only choice if you want to live.”
He beckoned me to the vehicle, but when I refused to move he piped up again dictating it is not safe and that I needed to trust him. Why should I trust him when I don’t even know what is going on! I sharply told him with a defiant look in my eyes “I’m not going anywhere with you when I have no idea what the hell is going on, for all I know your responsible and you just wanna off me in some abandoned field or warehouse”
“I’m not here to kill you; look I’m just like you. You’re not the only one these people have tried to screw over. Seriously don’t you realise that you were targeted right now, I promise I will tell you everything just get in the car”
“Why should I when I have never meet you, you seem to know me and what the hell is going on. How do you even know about me? Excuse me but where is your logic” he thought that I wouldn’t pick up on the piece of info he left out, I have never been involved in anything like this since tonight so how would he know I needed saving?
“For god sake, we don’t have time for this; Johnny’s men and informants are going to find us when where this close to all that. Look, I have been watching Johnny and his movements for about a year now and I know that he has placed a hit on your life! Meaning that explosion just now was for you, he wants you dead and the longer we stand out her yapping you and me are dead. He wants me dead to; you either come with me or stay here. By your logic whatever choice you make equals death so what choice do you have?”
Hang on a minute did he just say Johnny; I swear I heard that name at the care home. Maybe he is right, oh, what do I do? Do I really even have a choice in all of this because it seems like this game has been planned out and I’m just dammed into following a path I don’t want to take. “Fine you win” I retorted in an unwilling tone.
I walked up to the front passenger door and got in, I watched him from the side mirror and saw him breathe a sigh of relief then he ran round to the other side of the car. He got in, started the engine and drove off as fast as he could, presumably to get us as far away from the scene behind us as possible.
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At this point I was beyond exhausted and really needed to just curl up in a ball and sleep for a million thousand years. I would actually be quite happy if no one ever woke me up ever again.
It seemed as if he had been driving for hours as dawn had started to break, I realised that I had become completely oblivious to my surroundings until now and noticed we were no longer in the heart of the city. It looked as though we had made it out into the country side as the land lay flat, open and very green. It must be an area for farmers and growers that supply the main city.
The car wasn’t travelling at anywhere near the speed it was, maybe he felt as if it was safe here. We turned down a really narrow beaten path that didn’t even look like a road but it leads to a very average, almost rustic farmhouse. He then motioned me out of the car and inside the farmhouse while he stashed the car.
Walking into this farmhouse I got the evidence that I needed that this wasn’t the person responsible for the events last night. There were papers and documents sprawled everywhere, glancing at a few they looked like ledgers and inventory lists. There were photographs on the walls of several people and places that all had various red markings and circling.
I walked up to the photographs and scanned them, there were police people circled, politicians, authority figures, various people, banks, council buildings, police stations, hospitals and care homes. Why would all these things be marked? I even saw the Mary Vale displayed in his montage collection. I extended my index finger to its picture.
“Why is the Mary Vale circled here? What is all this stuff? You promised me an explanation so start with the Mary Vale” I demanded; eyes transfixed on his face to watch how he would react.
“Those pictures are all linked to Johnny; He has corrupted, blackmailed and or in control of all of the people you see before you. There are no doubt ably more than I know of so it’s not wise to just go wandering the streets because before you know it your dead” My mouth agape; corruption, blackmail. I must have stumbled into a really crappy movie plot where nothing goes right for the main character and they are doomed to die young or live old and afraid!
He continued “The Mary Vale, it’s bizarre that you ask that but Johnny has been making a series of substantial donations to that particular care centre for the past two months with two of his lackeys visiting this place every week” he walked over to a section of the wall and ushered me over to him.
He pointed to the first person and said “This one is called Ricky Johnson, he is one of Johnny’s main hit men and a personal vendetta of mine to kill along with the blasted Johnny” He’s eyes flared with rage. I got the feeling that this is the person responsible for this person being stuck here in fear.
“As for this one, he is called Stewart Brinsteine; he was recently controlled by Johnny into being a member of his killing squad. He essentially was embezzling a lot of money from his company as well as being responsible for a lot of rapes in the area”
“Obviously, Johnny has ways of finding out dirt and blackmailed Stewart into killing people for him to keep his secret. It turns out Stewart had a knack for offing people so he got hooked by it and Johnny just facilitated him” he turned to look at me as if he got suddenly curious about something. “Why that place, why do you want to know about the Mary Vale?”
I moved to the far corner and sat down holding my head low, I started to rethink back to last night’s events and what happened to my dear beloved gran. “I worked there on weekday evenings so that my grandmother could get the care she needed. I was there last night but I was told that I didn’t need to work on the paper work because it was taken, I went to spend the time with her, but...” trailing my sentence because I just didn’t want to say what happened out loud let alone relive it.
I could hear the guy moving from the side wall to where I sat, pressing up beside me. I think he realised the situation, he was watching the Mary Vale and must have heard of the devastation that took place. “At least I know why they want you dead, you’re the only one as a witness, maybe Johnny fears that you found out what he was doing there and knows that you’re someone that can link him to a crime, which is still alive”
I huffed and lowered my head further; what comfort was that to bring me when two people I held dearly were killed mercilessly? The guy put his arm round me as a way of trying to comfort me. It’s cruel; all that I have for comfort is a man I don’t know or even know the name of that I just met. Somebody hand me the popcorn this really is a crappy mafia movie!
I lifted my head and turned to face him my eyes were just so dreary right now, I really don’t have any energy or stamina left. “What is your name?” he replied saying that his name was Richard Smith and that he wanted to know my name. I barely got the words Elicia Rowan out before I drifted into what I will only describe as blissful unconsciousness.
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I appeared back at the Mary Vale; all the previous damage had been undone and the people were living. I was thankful that all that had happened was just a dream; I walked over to my gran and said hello to her. She just blankly looked at me, then looked at the floor to where 5 dice scattered on the floor.
Wait a second I thought and looked up to see that she was no longer sitting at that table and that everything was damaged again. I feared that this was the dream and everything that had transpired was real and had happened. I looked at the blood soaked floor and the lifeless bodies scattered aimlessly.
“Gran” I shouted noticing she was just as lifeless as the others. She was sprawled on the floor with the same wound in her stomach; one arm stretched outwards pointing to something. I looked in that direction and there the dice were again, I had a closer look to see what was showing.
All five of the dice were showing 6’s. How can this be what does that mean, who rolled these? I looked around and saw that they were scattered around my side of the table. Did I actually roll a yahtzee? So out of all the crap that happened yesterday I actually get a yahtzee? Who on earth is laughing at me thinking that is a fair exchange of luck?
Suddenly a distraction came in the form of shouting and banging sounds, it sounded all too familiar to me. I turned round and made my way towards the sound, after a short while I came to a shadow of a person standing in the same corridor as me. I noticed the kitchen knife from our old house grasped in this shadows hand. Fear swept over me and I was stuck unable to move, scream, shout or do anything. I was utterly helpless.
The shadow charged me and with one large sweeping motion dragged the knife down my entire core from head to toe. It was as if I was literally cut into two equal half’s and for the briefest of moments my body held together before the left half started to slide towards gravity.
My vision was tearing apart in different directions, I could still think, I could still feel. I felt my organs being pulled from me, ripping and renching away from my body cavity. Then my body finally slumped to the red blood stained flooring. I felt what it was like to have the last ounce of will and energy taken from your very being before the eternal dark came.
At that very moment I woke screaming so loud that it startled Richard and made him come charging over from the other side of the room to try and settle the unnerved me from my bitter and pained screaming. He put his arms around me and held me tightly clasping me and enveloping me in his chest. After a minute or two I stopped screaming and just started sobbing and sobbing until I fell back to sleep.
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I really don’t know how I managed to continue living these past few weeks but it was not a small part Richards doing, it seemed as though he had been through the same motions of heart melting, soul renching lows, irrevocable and inconsolable pain I now felt in my strained mass of a heart.
Richard had started teaching me some basic survival skills he thought that would be necessary for me to know. He also spent the time walking me through everything Johnny has been involved in. Apparently his criminal activities started during 1988 when his drug addiction got him involved with some high pressured loan sharks. These loan sharks hunted Johnny for their money and wanted his head on a silver platter.
Johnny found a way of escaping that pressure by manipulating people into giving him the power and freedom he needed. But this obviously gave the man an ego complex because he used that power as his virtual high ground to catapult his deceitful acts into the mass criminal arena.
The man is a horrible piece of work; he corrupts people in power and authority, blackmails people in to being informants, kills any witnesses that can connect him to the towering collection of criminal activities, has police people tampering with evidence, lawyers using tainted bureaucracy and blackmail into sorting his legal issues, is a downright leach, pervert and to top it off is violently abusive to any women he has his eyes on.
It was such a scary prospect facing a person who has been in operation for so long and is that twisted and disturbed. I don’t even think we really even have a chance against this guy because according to Richard he has at least 50+ plus known lackeys that directly are doing his dirty work. It’s just my luck that I had to run into such a twisted perverted spider’s web.
I didn’t feel though with all of Richards support as if I was any use to him. It felt to me as if I was some dead weight dragging his boat deeper into the untameable watery depths we found ourselves in. He did his best to comfort me and teach me things I never ever wanted to know, gun handling and bomb tactics.
The amount of technical ability and keen awareness one needed to operate a gun let alone just standing and holding one. Those stupid movies don’t keep it real, there is so much more involved than holding your hand out right and shooting. For one no one on earth could keep that position long. Meaning in a real life situation they would be dead in five minutes tops.
The main things that became evident to me were all guns are a lot heavier than they appear to be in the movies. Keeping track of the rounds used and the handling of those things was much an art as it was a science a sickening life sucking art.
What was worse was to know about the types of rounds or bullets to use in your gunfight; each has different effects upon impact. Some bullets can actually shatter on impact in a person’s body doing more physical damage internally than the victim will be aware of. The thought of that type of bullet rattling and racking my dear grandma’s innards was disturbing. How could she have mustered the energy or life to save me?
The more I thought of that, the more my knees wanted to buckle from beneath me. I can’t be so week I can’t bring her back to me. She had done everything for me and I stood there both when I was seven and now. I can’t waste my time in self pity; I must not make Richards work be in vain he was the only one who was doing a dam thing to stop this Johnny.
Richard even believed it was important I should know which people in the police were good and how to plan and set up bombs as a way to halt or at least slow Johnny’s operations down. All of this was just making me feel as if I was some terrorist waging war on some downtrodden government and its dastardly schemes. I once again felt this is some accursed movie.
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The more that time passed by the more attached to Richard I felt; clinging to every word Richard said to me, becoming more innately aware of his presence. I was usually the type of girl that didn’t go over –analyzing people’s appearances but at various moments of our training I found myself looking more at his physique as if it was because of some magnetic cling.
I would look into his sad and broken brown eyes when he talked to me, you could tell that he had truly gone through some hard emotions to get to this point. It was probably more down to vengeance or anger that pushed him to get to this point alive. That drive and his steadfast determination to give Johnny a good go over by doing whatever he could do.
Richard had various markings and scarring which was no doubt caused from scrapes and tight corners he has found himself in. The thing that drew me in the most about Richard was this warmth in his embrace. Something I didn’t think about at the time when he first held me.
He would seem to an outsider as your average mid 30’s male with a cold and saddened exterior but I could see much deeper than that. He’s kind hearted warmth I believe is the reason for these sudden thoughts or maybe it’s just a lusty moment. Perhaps this is just what happens in these situations you cling together through the motions and feel like they’re the only one who understands.
Whatever this feeling was it wouldn’t be right if I just jumped on this person like some unbridled female or wild lust driven animal. But all I know is that it feels like some portion of light is carrying me through this torment and the only thing that makes sense is you. You and the way you sympathise with me and pull me through these bitter memories.
When this world starts to feel like what they call a lonely place, it’s your face that I start thinking of. Is this truly normal? I must be acting unfaithful it’s only a few weeks since Stefan someone I believed would be my one, died. Where is the dam handbook on situations like this that says in bold black letters ‘don’t act like some kinda banshee because you haven’t been seen to in a few weeks!’
Could these thoughts even be considered as unfaithful as the situations have brought me here to Richard without Stefan? I just don’t know what I should be doing; I just can’t help glancing his way and want to engage in something more than war planning. Why does this feeling have to linger in the air like this?
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I couldn’t handle the constant planning like it was war; we shouldn’t just abandon our lives because we survived. I thought that maybe this was why I was brought to Richard because he was living this hallow life for so long that he effectively wasn’t living anymore.
The only thing I could think of doing was maybe making some kind of meal or some kind of opportunity to pull him away from the work he was doing, even if it was for the briefest of moments. I resolved that the meal might be an easy one to sell to someone; after all we couldn’t really leave the farmhouse without risk of being murdered.
By this time Richard had gotten used to me around and wasn’t perturbed whenever I went into another room and started making undue noises. Considering it’s been a while since I did any cooking and not knowing the full layout of the kitchen I made quite a bit of noise in search of the relevant kitchen equipment to cook.
The local farmers that we lived nearby were very trustworthy which enabled us to maintain a health collection of food supplies. Although the condition for obtaining the food was that both Richard and I had to help them out with odd chores.
Once I finally got a stew type substance going on the old fashioned type stove, I thought that maybe I should make this a little better than just a sit down dinner and went in search of some candles. After what was a few moments searching I found a very dusty box in the back or a cupboard with some very thin white candles.
A thought struck me, more of a last minute idea or epiphany but it will be dark when the stew is prepared. A great way to do some kind of unwinding would be to eat outside. Considering we felt reasonably safe here it wasn’t that hard a stretch to do.
I set the candles up and brought the stew pot outside, then beckoned Richard to join me. When he came across the spread before him, he gave a somewhat bewildered look and asked “What was all of this in aid of?”
“I just thought that we didn’t survive to live like we can’t experience anything good in our lives” I turned my gaze away from him and looked up at the now sparkling navy sky above us “Look, I know you and I have had the virtual rug pulled beneath our feet and we have been forced to play this twisted game but I don’t want my meeting you to just be a means to an end”
“Something my gran used to always tell me when I was younger was that no matter how many bad memories we carry with us, we will always be able to make new happier memories.” A small tear left my eye as I thought about that advice and realised that I should have heeded it sooner than now. “Also I wanted to show you how much I have truly appreciated all you have done for me”
“You have helped me pull through the pain that now remains in this fragile heart of mine, of course it won’t go away. All I know that if it were not for you it would have consumed me. This is just a small way that I could show that appreciation” I turned my gaze back to Richard he had what looked like a small glint in his soft brown eyes.
I think that maybe he didn’t realise that I felt that way about what he has done for me, maybe it was just natural for him. He must have just gone along with what he usually does, investigating the set of information he has and planning where he should make his move using the skills he needs to get that job done.
He has helped me by just being there and showing me that this wasn’t all hopeless. He, himself went through the same motions of I, through the loss of his wife and child. We have both experienced the pain of total loss and control at the hands of Johnny. The only reason he had any idea about Johnny was because his wife worked briefly for him.
All the paper work and evidence we had was what his wife had collected, which Johnny desperately wanted. It was such a sad pain to go through knowing that the love of your life was tortured that way and then mercilessly killed because she wanted to do the right thing and survive through the ordeal she found herself in.
Richard moved forward and sat down on the wooded flooring just outside the backdoor beside me, he’s warmth radiating and emanating from his body. He lent forward picked up the box of matches and lit the candles in front of us as I dished out the stew. Admittedly after a few tastes it’s wasn’t great but Richard seemed to like it.
I turned my gaze up to the sky again, it was truly something special it was partially clear but enough for you to look into the deep dark navy. It was almost as if it was like looking into someone’s eyes. I know that this might have been a great moment to tell him how I was feeling about him but I realised that jumping him or dropping that on him wouldn’t have been right.
Richard had started looking into the night sky and had placed he’s right arm around me in a side hug. For right now this is enough, I don’t feel as lost and lonely when I am in his warm arms embrace. We don’t need to talk; this is more than enough just to be able to watch the midnight light and flickering of the candles just like this.
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Richard and I were finally ready to make our move on another care home in the hub of town; we weren’t going to do anything reckless it was more of a reconnaissance mission. Johnny had started the same routine as at the Mary Vale, making various donations under the same terms that Ricky and Stewart were able to have sole access to one of the rooms.
We had meticulously checked the routine’s of those two demonic men, so as not to bump into either of them. That would have the potential for unnecessary complications. I really don’t think I’m ready for a fight, not with the amount of time I have had. Some days it was even impossible for me to control my emotions. I’m sure it would have been difficult for most people to pick themselves up from that kind of tragedy.
Considering it is also a care home means that it has the potential for more casualties if that were to happen as the place would be exposed. It was a very deadly rope that we were treading, but in all fairness it was the life we had to live now.
As per the plan I walked in to the reception of the care home; then used the same excuse as given at the Mary Vale to get the documentation. The well aged lady behind the counter was so happy to oblige saying how much a saint Johnny was for all the donations. It made me sick to my stomach hearing that.
Once I had the paperwork I walked out of the care home to come face to face with a standoff happening right outside the building between Richard and those two guys. Why were they here, they weren’t meant to be here.
Richard on the opposite side of the road was trying to suppress their fire with the two handed technique he mentioned to me before, it’s not an accuracy move it’s a way of laying cover and preventing your opponent from firing on you.
Considering that I hadn’t heard any shooting up till now means that this has only just started, I ran to the nearest cars bumper as they were on the same side of the road as me and pulled out the gun I was given from Richard. Because they had yet to see me I had a clear view of them behind their own vehicle.
I tried my best to aim at the man on the left, directly in his side; obviously as I jerked my aim was off and hit him in the side of the leg. The guy screamed out in panic because he wasn’t expecting to be hit from the side as they believed they were only facing Richard.
Richard realised straight away and retreated behind the car to replace his clips, no doubt thanking his lucky stars because he would have been running almost on empty. The problem was that I was now on my own till he was ready and I would have both guys attention till then.
The guy on the right was still shouting at the guy I shot in frantic fear “What the hell happened, Stew can you still shoot?” dam it, it was those guys. The problem is now I’m closer to them than Richard is. I’m not ready for this how can I co-ordinate myself well enough to get out of this alive!
Just my luck! I was scanning the areas around me trying to determine my next move. Just as they realised where I was “Dam, it’s the broad! The one from the Mary Vale, there working together” shouted the un-shot Ricky. I really thought that the only place safest was with Richard if we were together we could solve this.
I had to buy some more time for Richard, so I crouched down under the car to take a shot at them from under there; I aimed as best as I could and fired. This one only partially grazed Stewart’s foot, which was really a dumb move. I sprang up as fast as I could and fired in there general direction again this time not aiming because I knew I wouldn’t have the time.
My inexperience in gunfights was apparently obvious as they were unharmed by my third bullet, which had left a tiny hole in there car’s front window. I knew I had to move but the only way I could move was around to the road side of the car. Ricky was also contemplating his next move, he decided to fire on the car I was behind in the attempt to scare me and it was working.
I started to freak out, seriously I couldn’t do this. All I could do was give Richard enough time to save himself. All I could think of now was I had to save him I shouted out to Richard “Richard, Leave me and go. You have to go” I can’t save myself. Tears stinging my eyes as I resolved myself to the fact I was going to die here.
I made my way round to the side of the car and pulled myself up again over the car to try again. With only six bullets in my little hand gun and three bullets down I had to make sure they weren’t wasted. I was shaking so violently, I really didn’t think I was going to make a difference to Richard but I had to do something.
As I was about to fire the scrapping sound of the bullet across the hood of the car made me move suddenly out of the way and retreat back to the ground. There was no way I could get shot in with two experienced people and one tiny little flesh wound. I was literally stuck like this.
It seemed like it was taking an eternity for Richard to take the car and bolt it, was he already hurt? If that was the case I am screwed. We are both well and truly screwed to buggery! Then I thought the only thing I could do was to just jump up and shoot; trying to block out the possible inevitability that they would hit me. I went for it and then as I was at about fully standing there was an almighty boom.
I ducked down again completely racked now with blind terror screaming until my throat was ripped and raw. What the hell was happening? I’m no movie hero, no military person that could tactically assess situations. I was really wishing that this would just all go away. I was reliving the pain of my father shouting and throwing furniture at my mother, the firing and screaming of people dying all around me. I could hear the firing of two guns at the same time merging to make a dull resonating sound in the background.
The shadows of all the events were weighing heavily on my already fragile heart. This irrevocable situation was wearing on me so much. My vision was blurring so badly because of the tears now streaming down my face. It was so hard to compose myself enough to start thinking about anything other than death and dying in this ordinary street.
Before I could make a move I felt someone wrap their arms around me clasping me from behind. It was a shock at first because it’s what really snapped my back into the real reality and not my distraught thoughts and feelings. But I soon realised who it was because it had the warmth I had become accustomed to around Richard.
“Richard” I called out mumbling with my weak and frayed voice because of all the screaming. He didn’t reply; I could slowly feel his warmth dissipating from his grasp and his embrace slowly letting up and weakening from behind me. Something didn’t seem right at all, I had to turn around.
When I saw the sad state he was in, my heart sank even further inside my body. I thought my heart didn’t have anything else left to give, but boy was I wrong. I looked into his brown eyes and saw something different; I no longer saw pain or sadness.
All I saw was them fading away as his body became limper in my arms. I was the one now holding him in my embrace. Hoping that in some way in his last moments he would feel the same warmth that I did every time he; sat next to me, put his arm around me or held me tightly when I cried.
Those small memories of our time together; playing out in my mind like a tragic reminder of something I really didn’t want to lose. All those small slivers of time; mixed in with the planning, training and dealing with previous moments tragedies. I clutched his hand tightly in mine, the strength clearly fading from his body.
Your hand was slowly slipping from my grasp; slowly between my pale fingertips. He was so limp, lifeless and bloodstained. It became almost obvious to me what had happened; he managed to kill both Stewart and Ricky. But the sadness was that their attempts were not in vain because one of the bullets cradled the clean evening and bolted right through his right side.
I gently lay Richard on the ground no longer feeling the pity I was once riving in. Standing up I grasped my fragile shattered heart and felt the heartbeat die inside me. Tears no longer streaming down my frightened face; all that was evident was steely eyes and determination.
Looking down where he lay filled me with bitterness so I turned to face the scene around me; Stewart was sprawled on the floor in a disassembled lump. His injuries were clearly were made from a shotgun, which perfectly explained the load booming noise that struck me with instantaneous terror.
Seeing the small movements being made from Ricky who was also lying on the ground drew the deep hatred from my cerebral cortex. My estimations was wrong, if he’s alive Richard didn’t get his vengeance.
Reaching down I slowly picked up my gun from the floor and walked round to Ricky. I placed my hand round his neck to hold his body still and placed the barrel of my gun squarely on his forehead. “Sic vis pacem parabellum” Click, Click, click.
I rose from where floor and with steely, steadfast determined eyes shifted my gaze to Richard’s car. I wasn’t meant to be alive now; my death should have been made back in the Mary Vale. I’m going to use this body, to take his blasted tainted soul and society with me.
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Step one; collect and collate all the evidence Richard and his wife had assembled record my plan on video and distribute copies to the media and trusted police. Detailing the web of corruption, Completed.
Step two; get enough explosive power to bring down Ivory tower. Taking down all the people inside including Johnny himself; Check. This would cover a great percentage of Johnny’s lackeys and remove his central hub of power.
Step three; easiest part of all, gaining access to the building. Johnny wanted a new secretary and knowing how the lecherous man acted I knew I could get in no problem. Of course I had to make some small adjustments to my appearance. It was obvious that by now he was even more aware of whom I was because of the death of Ricky and Stewart.
My long curvy brown hair was now pigmented in a dark black and straightened. My eyes covered in brown contacts to hide my old tranquil blue eyes. While wearing a slinky black number that I know would defiantly get the old guy going.
Step three, was well and truly covered; this step involved planting the explosives in various strategic places in the building. Those strategic places included various female toilets on different floors, some were placed at various corridors and stairwells and one was concealed inside my bag which was nestled on my right shoulder. As I had my hand on the trigger inside my bag meant that this mission ready to be initiated, meaning his demise was assured.
There was absolutely no way that this plan was going to fail because his office is on the 46th floor. I was additionally made confident by the fact that I was sitting outside his office waiting to be called in for the secretary job interview.
“Roshica Rowaninski” called the man, his dark haired shifty appearance was a dead giveaway that he was the man I’ve been waiting for. I will admit that wasn’t the most inventive name I could have come up with but it served its purpose of getting me in the building. I know that going to this guy’s office was pointless as he has a high percentage of dying anyway; I just wanted to meet the sadistic b*****d face to face.
I followed him into his office and he motioned me to sit at a chair by his desk, I wasn’t much interested in the scenery as I knew I wouldn’t be seeing it for long. I made my way past him and it seemed as he leant into smell my scent as I passed him. When I was sitting you heard a click, indicating he thought that he was in control and preventing me from leaving.
Oh you’re a fool and soon to be a dead fool. He made his way to sit right in front of me on the edge of the table. Using his debaucherous eyes to scan and judge my body as I sat across from him. All I was thinking that he was asking for me to kill him and he deserved it so badly.
Then I realised something about luck and life that I never would have thought. It’s a relief not believing or relying on luck it’s a somewhat freeing feeling knowing that there isn’t that pressure of hoping for the best. Wishing for a hero or someone to make this my lucky day and bring me out of this alive.
I resigned myself to the fact that movies are such a false interpretation of these situations, gunplay is harder than shown, the pain of loss is worse and there are never any heroes. Even the comic books with a fake hero’s antics ladened throughout the story get this all wrong.
The saying Sic vis pacem parabellum is true; for if the people in this town want peace I have to bring the war to Johnny on their behalf.
One thing was for sure, I was no longer afraid as I looked at him squarely uttering my final words with steely determined eyes. Squeezing the trigger as I told the b*****d “Sic vis pacem parabellum; translation if you want peace prepare for war”
angelz_curse Community Member 
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