The Darwin Awards 2005
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>Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the
>Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among
>us. Here then, are the glorious winners.
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>Darwin Award Winners:
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>1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his
>intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California,
>would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only
>inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the
>trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the
>honorable mentions:
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>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
>meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around,
>submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
>expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look
>for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The
>chef's claim was approved.
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>3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
>his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
>Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably,
>he shot her.
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>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
>bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed
>to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
>wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a
>nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
>ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
>hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
>excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
>wasn't discovered for 3 days.
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>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
>serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
>asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
>he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head
>to a moving train before he was hit.
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>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on
>the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the
>cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash
>in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man
>took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill
>on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
>drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you
>money, is a crime committed?)
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>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
>decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
>store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
>cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The
>cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
>head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
>made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
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>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store,
>a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
>immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed
>description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
>apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
>back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
>and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
>replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole
>the purse from."
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>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
>walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m.,
>flashed a gun,demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
>because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a
>food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
>they weren't available for breakfast . The man, frustrated,
>walked away.
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>A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
>home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he
>bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very
>sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.
>A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
>steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
>home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
>declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh
>he'd ever had.
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>In the interest of bettering human kind please share these
>with your friends and family ... unless of course one of
>these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long
>lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope
>they remain lost.
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