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Shiaty Week
oh me goshness. my entire week has been CRAPITY! ok. on..
saturday- night i was talkin wid val and he said stuff..and then i kinda started thinking a whole crap load and it bugged me..and then on..
sunday- i was talking with my friend florence and ya she was gonna have a party and then i told val, he took a day off and then we got into a fight on how long we were gonna stay there. anyhoo he got mad cuz i kept pressin him to stay longer. he blocked me, came back, said stuff, i got mad, and left. then when i came back he was all like "sorry sorry i love u"
but i was really hurt. i told him i needed time. and then before i left i told him that he really did stab my heart and that it did hurt. he was all like O_O ah man maru im sorry.. its crazy guy! like i seriously felt like i had a dagger stabbed through my chest when he said those things. and they werent even bad. it was just so..tru and pressing that it made me hurt inside. i felt the pain for a while. i couldnt breathe. i realised after that i must have been holding my breath through the whole thing, cuz i felt so light headed and i was crying..tears come naturally for me xd anyway
monday- i was going to avoid him but i woke up in a good mood so i just acted somewhat normal. i just didnt feel comfortable around him anymore. i felt like i was at the starting point. like the place i was when i first started dating him. the uncomfort was back. cuz as u all probably know, i didnt like him at the beginning and i was filled with guilt. and then the fight happened and i was somewhat guilty but this is coming from someone who barely knows the definition of the word 'guilt'. anyway..
after skool we talked and he asked me if i trusted him. i told him i didnt. and cuz of my past, when i constantly lost the ppl i trusted cuz they turned on me, i lost that trust i had in him. he said that he'll regain my trust in no time. well then..
tuesday- everything was going fine until lunchtime and val told me he was asked to join the salesians. its some s**t where u go for the weekend and come back diff. its ewwy. like they brainwash them. i hate it and im totally against it. i didnt want him touching me and he said that he wouldnt go if it would make me happy.
wednesday- this day was hell...val went and handed in his application for the salesian thing. omg i was so mad i was shivering and just cried. i didnt want to talk to him and he got mad and started punching things. and after last period he grabbed me and asked me wut was wrong. i just needed time. time is what im constantly needing.. anyway after skool tada pissed the shiat outta me cuz she said ur orgy club was over and cuz shes the leader and shes leaving the whole orgys gone! i was soooo mad. like she had no right to say that. she was acting so bitchy. this is also the day i wrote a sad depressing poem. that night i SNAPPED! i cried my last tears and was left with a sense of hate and insanity inside me. i laughed like a maniac for over an hour and shivered. val was scared cuz i was on the phone wid him at the time.
((poor dice feels like everyones mad at her! poor girl, she didnt do anything and yet she has that feeling when she doesnt deserve it!.
well then..))
thursday- i was mad at everyone cuz noc got herself involved on wed with the tada problem. she printed out the friggin convo and showed it to ppl, and they all turn against me! omg i was ready to give her a black eye. val talked to tada and solved things. then she talked to me and we fine.
like so many ppl find noc annoying, thunder, val, me, dar, and dice hace had enough of her. shes acting like a 2 year old. like she seriously has to grow up a bit. and if u read this noc. i have a point so dont get mad...
anyway then
friday- cuz of the shiaty week ive had im very short short tempered. the smallest thing will trigger my anger. im even givving my mom attitude when i never used to! then after skool i went to florences party and everything went puuurrrrfect lolz. yup. thank god that weeks over.
well anyway yes..thats my week. and friday the 25th was my anna wid val. 3 months ^_^
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