it's 2 in the morning on a thursday night.... i really shuld be in bed, but i really can't sleep... for some reason i have the feeling that the fact i have a cold have nothing to do with it... i'm just feeling depressed about life. isn't this time supost to be about family and peace and all that stuff? and if that's true than why does everyone get stresseed out about buying the best gift and beating the croud at the stores? it's just so depressing how people wear these big fake smiles when giving cheep gifts to people they don't care about. or give big expensive gifts to make themselves look nice! and that little kids say that christmas is their favorite holiday 'cause of all the toys they get! christmas started out as a religous holiday tro celabrate the birth of someone who gave hope to ALOT of people... weather or not he was that great... or if you really care at all... it still shows the same thing any way you look at it! christmas has become a consumer holiday... it doesn't matter what religon you are anymore! the american socidy forces this holiday on everyone. as soon as november hits you can't escape from all the decorations. and all that's on the radio that one week is christmas songs! i'm jelous of all the people who celabrate Chanukah. they get to remember what the holiday is for, and all the christains are pushed into a cookiecutter holiday, straight from the factori! it's enough to turn someone pagan just to spite it all!
my keybord's getting sticky from crying. i feel like there's a stone in my heart. i want to just say screwit, and send back all the gifts in the house! maby use the money to bring my parents and siblings to the movies and then to dinner. no presants involved. no wrapping, no ribbons, no stocking. just a day for us to be a family for once. but that's only a stupid wish. my mom has this "tradition" that we alwats do in the afternoon. and my parents wouldn't agree to go together anyways. and my brother is spending christmas with his uncle in colorado. i guess that's just another one of those foolish kid's christmas lists. i just wish that it wasn't that impossable. i almost don't wan't what's in those red and gold boxes under the tree. i would gladly give up my house, school, stuff, and everything, just to have a family that were together on christmas... or at least not fighting. i can predict that someone will do something to make mom mad, and we'll have to halt everything for at least half an hour, making both my parents cross.
"heaven only knows, that packages and bows, can never heal a hurting human soul" -Grown Up Christmas List (look it up on youtube.com if you don't know what it is)
 Deziner · Fri Dec 22, 2006 @ 07:42am · 0 Comments |
