demagoguery
Found it in record time. Because I'm awesome like that.
http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13192981&page=1
AND THE ALLIGATOR STORY.
http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13192981&page=1
AND THE ALLIGATOR STORY.
Mahayr
The others were leary as they tend to become whenever I volunteer to take the lead in anything whatsoever, nervous glances were exchanged, I SAW THEM WITH MY OWN EYEBALLS!!! I was not deterred!
I threw everything from my canoe (what little there was, but it did include my precious tackle box) into the Children Canoe (yes I know we set bad examples for the young impressionables, but what can you do?? They will have to face Real Life as Adults and should be in possession of Certain SKILLS!!!!!!!!!!!), as I passed it and frantically told them to get in the back, just behind the last canoe not counting the canoe hauling the mule canoe.
Note: There were no Men in the convoy, this time, the women and children had taken off on their own, during the week, and this was before cell phones! (I am a tad more aggressive when there are no Men about, honestly if they had been about I might have just gone along with whatever they did or suggested or ordered. I swear!)
Alright. There I was. Empty canoe. Children safe. Mule canoe bringing up the rear (the mule canoe also had custody of the foodstuffs, water, and ice). Companion women furtive glances dying down.
Taking another good hard look at the Offending Area, I went belly down in the bottom of the boat and put my ear to the wood and listened a minute. Hearing nothing suspicious or betraying, I stood up and looked again, leaning over slightly, well-balanced as I always am (if you read this S`qarr, no laughing... this was back in my better-balanced days!), and peered peered peered!
As you may know, rivers are subject to being tinted brown due to the tanic acid that seeps from the trees. This makes for difficult peering in any water deeper than... oh... about 24 inches. Less if there has been any activity at all such as fish swimming or frog jumping or turtle leaping.
I made my decision.
Turning to speak to the occupants of the canoe just behind me, I yelled and gestured to punctuate each word, and to convey the message that I Meant What I Said:
I'm Going IN!
Not waiting for any arguments or objections, I disregarded the screaming children and jumped out, feet first of course - it was not very deep after all and diving would mean head injury, I am no dolt!
Well! I was right... there was something down there as the riverbed went from shallowish, to a hole of indiscernable depth and size from my position. It seemed to go all the way to the tree in the middle, but I was not sure. This was an isolated area. No houses except for the deserted winter shacks. I was unsure where the nearest road would be.
I made my way to the edge of this ravene-like, black as midnight, silent hole in the river and leaned in for a closer look, for all the good that would do (none). I lost my footing. I flailed my arms. Children screamed louder. Women wailed.
It was as deep as I had imagined, and the water got colder as I went down (well I was in, I might as well go see what I could see, after all!). I could barely make out my hand in front of my face. I felt the odd stick and branch coming from that old tree, but it still spooked me each time. Something slimy drifted over my legs and I lost half a breath of air.. and I really had not wanted to go up for another breath!
Just as I touched dirt, I had to go back up. Treading water, I flung my hair (I should have tied it back) back, gulped air and gave the I am Alright For the Moment signal and... I hesitated. I turned around slowly. I heard the women but was not able to concentrate on the actual words. Oh.
I saw bubbles. Big bubbles, small bubbles, a lot of bubble. Air bubbles, you know. Meaning something or someone was down there containing air. Air that was escaping. Scuba divers do not dive in rivers. Alligators would have been seen ahead of time, especially as many as there would have had to be to account for all those bubbles, and I had not done anything drastic enough to dislodge anything like a car or washing machine!
Well, I screamed for everyone to get to the bank and get out. I learned later they had. I made for the tree and thanks to the huge root system and the tennis shoes (I TOLD YOU!!!) and the gloves (SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!) I was able to climb out of the water and right to the trunk of that tree.
Thank goodness!!!
(Final chapter next time! Don't worry, its not too bad, and the cops were really good about everything, considering. As for the Men? Well. Can you say, "YOU ARE ON RESTRICTION FOREVER?" I knew you could.)
================================
Added here because there was an entry I was too ashamed to post after. Oh.
I looked back to see what would be seen, inevitably and was not disappointed. First up came an old tire. This may seem cliche, but there it is. It floated on down the river, edged by the size-increasing bubbles.
Then, to my rank horror, came the body of an old, dead-for-a-long-time cow. She use to be a nice colour. She used to be suade and leather. She used to have nice eyes and a soft muzzle. I bet she used to have calves.
But such is the way of things... alligators age their meat, speaking of which, next came the alligator, apparently he or she had been raiding the pantry and not paying attention to the loud convoy of adults and children fast-approaching from upstream!
The cow immediately became entangled in the tree's roots. The alligator saw me and ducked back under but they canna stay under forever you know, although they can move away. I moved a bit closer to where Mr. or Ms. Alligator had been and waited. Sure enough, up it came again just in time for me to press my weight down on its royal head, much to its chagrin (rather than anger or something else).
Before I can take it any further the screaming from the bank registers and I look over there to see jumping children, hysterical women and...
Cops, fireman, ambulance drivers, forest rangers and various civilians. Oh this was no good, this was embarrassing, this was not going to be taken well by the families, this looked to me like, yes... Big Trouble.
I waved an arm in some kind of acknowledgement screaming DON'T SHOOT, and went to jump back in the river to screams of STAY WHERE YOU ARE! I looked around and just did see that alligator going into its hole on the other other back, a good bit down from us. The cow remained where it was.
Safety had been restored! Except for the obviousl danger in the form of gaseous fumes form the poor old cow. Old cow at the perfect stage of aging for alligator meal.
Well, I ignored the masses, got in the river, got out on the shore in just a couple of minutes and took off the encumberances, throwing them into my own (I think...) canoe.
Come to find out there had been people close enough to hear our screaming and crying and general mayhem. These people had taken it upon their nosy selves to call 911. 911 had called out the forces... it was a small town and the local agencies had little to do, so as a rule everyone showed up for every call.
They were pretty good about things, if you ask me. They fussed a bit, the ranger threatened bodily harm to the alligator and I said good luck and just leave the old thing alone did you see how big he was? Grandfather alligators should be sacred.
The EMS guys looked me over and declared me fit! The children bowled me over with glee! I ate a sandwhich, gosh I was starved. The firemen took off their gear and had a drink with us (koolaid). I started a little camp fire just for the heck of it, to make them laugh, which they did. Then they put it out! Well, it was summer after all...
Ohyes... the Men were not Happy Campers and we were forbidden to go alone again (ever) but we wormed our way out of that in a few weeks.
I should go back there one of these days and check in on the offspring of that alligator. And perhaps check out the bridge pilings just past that tree.
I threw everything from my canoe (what little there was, but it did include my precious tackle box) into the Children Canoe (yes I know we set bad examples for the young impressionables, but what can you do?? They will have to face Real Life as Adults and should be in possession of Certain SKILLS!!!!!!!!!!!), as I passed it and frantically told them to get in the back, just behind the last canoe not counting the canoe hauling the mule canoe.
Note: There were no Men in the convoy, this time, the women and children had taken off on their own, during the week, and this was before cell phones! (I am a tad more aggressive when there are no Men about, honestly if they had been about I might have just gone along with whatever they did or suggested or ordered. I swear!)
Alright. There I was. Empty canoe. Children safe. Mule canoe bringing up the rear (the mule canoe also had custody of the foodstuffs, water, and ice). Companion women furtive glances dying down.
Taking another good hard look at the Offending Area, I went belly down in the bottom of the boat and put my ear to the wood and listened a minute. Hearing nothing suspicious or betraying, I stood up and looked again, leaning over slightly, well-balanced as I always am (if you read this S`qarr, no laughing... this was back in my better-balanced days!), and peered peered peered!
As you may know, rivers are subject to being tinted brown due to the tanic acid that seeps from the trees. This makes for difficult peering in any water deeper than... oh... about 24 inches. Less if there has been any activity at all such as fish swimming or frog jumping or turtle leaping.
I made my decision.
Turning to speak to the occupants of the canoe just behind me, I yelled and gestured to punctuate each word, and to convey the message that I Meant What I Said:
I'm Going IN!
Not waiting for any arguments or objections, I disregarded the screaming children and jumped out, feet first of course - it was not very deep after all and diving would mean head injury, I am no dolt!
Well! I was right... there was something down there as the riverbed went from shallowish, to a hole of indiscernable depth and size from my position. It seemed to go all the way to the tree in the middle, but I was not sure. This was an isolated area. No houses except for the deserted winter shacks. I was unsure where the nearest road would be.
I made my way to the edge of this ravene-like, black as midnight, silent hole in the river and leaned in for a closer look, for all the good that would do (none). I lost my footing. I flailed my arms. Children screamed louder. Women wailed.
It was as deep as I had imagined, and the water got colder as I went down (well I was in, I might as well go see what I could see, after all!). I could barely make out my hand in front of my face. I felt the odd stick and branch coming from that old tree, but it still spooked me each time. Something slimy drifted over my legs and I lost half a breath of air.. and I really had not wanted to go up for another breath!
Just as I touched dirt, I had to go back up. Treading water, I flung my hair (I should have tied it back) back, gulped air and gave the I am Alright For the Moment signal and... I hesitated. I turned around slowly. I heard the women but was not able to concentrate on the actual words. Oh.
I saw bubbles. Big bubbles, small bubbles, a lot of bubble. Air bubbles, you know. Meaning something or someone was down there containing air. Air that was escaping. Scuba divers do not dive in rivers. Alligators would have been seen ahead of time, especially as many as there would have had to be to account for all those bubbles, and I had not done anything drastic enough to dislodge anything like a car or washing machine!
Well, I screamed for everyone to get to the bank and get out. I learned later they had. I made for the tree and thanks to the huge root system and the tennis shoes (I TOLD YOU!!!) and the gloves (SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!) I was able to climb out of the water and right to the trunk of that tree.
Thank goodness!!!
(Final chapter next time! Don't worry, its not too bad, and the cops were really good about everything, considering. As for the Men? Well. Can you say, "YOU ARE ON RESTRICTION FOREVER?" I knew you could.)
================================
Added here because there was an entry I was too ashamed to post after. Oh.
I looked back to see what would be seen, inevitably and was not disappointed. First up came an old tire. This may seem cliche, but there it is. It floated on down the river, edged by the size-increasing bubbles.
Then, to my rank horror, came the body of an old, dead-for-a-long-time cow. She use to be a nice colour. She used to be suade and leather. She used to have nice eyes and a soft muzzle. I bet she used to have calves.
But such is the way of things... alligators age their meat, speaking of which, next came the alligator, apparently he or she had been raiding the pantry and not paying attention to the loud convoy of adults and children fast-approaching from upstream!
The cow immediately became entangled in the tree's roots. The alligator saw me and ducked back under but they canna stay under forever you know, although they can move away. I moved a bit closer to where Mr. or Ms. Alligator had been and waited. Sure enough, up it came again just in time for me to press my weight down on its royal head, much to its chagrin (rather than anger or something else).
Before I can take it any further the screaming from the bank registers and I look over there to see jumping children, hysterical women and...
Cops, fireman, ambulance drivers, forest rangers and various civilians. Oh this was no good, this was embarrassing, this was not going to be taken well by the families, this looked to me like, yes... Big Trouble.
I waved an arm in some kind of acknowledgement screaming DON'T SHOOT, and went to jump back in the river to screams of STAY WHERE YOU ARE! I looked around and just did see that alligator going into its hole on the other other back, a good bit down from us. The cow remained where it was.
Safety had been restored! Except for the obviousl danger in the form of gaseous fumes form the poor old cow. Old cow at the perfect stage of aging for alligator meal.
Well, I ignored the masses, got in the river, got out on the shore in just a couple of minutes and took off the encumberances, throwing them into my own (I think...) canoe.
Come to find out there had been people close enough to hear our screaming and crying and general mayhem. These people had taken it upon their nosy selves to call 911. 911 had called out the forces... it was a small town and the local agencies had little to do, so as a rule everyone showed up for every call.
They were pretty good about things, if you ask me. They fussed a bit, the ranger threatened bodily harm to the alligator and I said good luck and just leave the old thing alone did you see how big he was? Grandfather alligators should be sacred.
The EMS guys looked me over and declared me fit! The children bowled me over with glee! I ate a sandwhich, gosh I was starved. The firemen took off their gear and had a drink with us (koolaid). I started a little camp fire just for the heck of it, to make them laugh, which they did. Then they put it out! Well, it was summer after all...
Ohyes... the Men were not Happy Campers and we were forbidden to go alone again (ever) but we wormed our way out of that in a few weeks.
I should go back there one of these days and check in on the offspring of that alligator. And perhaps check out the bridge pilings just past that tree.
