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well .. i talked to him on the phone yesterday .. and i got his msn thingy ... ad i was talking to him on there .. and i brought this u p " hmm what would it be like to be gf and bf" and hes like " i dunno i have issues call tara and ask .. so tara called me while he was on the phone and he was typeing sweet stuff like i love you and stuff to me while on msn so i heard .. hes jealous stressed which is okay .. cuddley and not very romantic which is also okay , and he can be a bit to clingy and im im jealous and clingy so i was like its fine and then i told him my issues and tara said well i hope you guys understand each other now i gtg ... then i was talking to hm online and im like so ... are you gonna ask me .. say the magic words .. hes like i dunno i also have comitment issues .... soo? well jamie called and i was talking to both of them and jamie started talking to him on msn , and he started to get really quiet , and he cept saying he loved me then he started talking about how he needed me to be there for ever and ever , and he was a lost soul and i told him id find you and make you mine and hes like you can never find me im to far gone .. so i told him no madder what it takes ill always be here for him and ill always love him , then i started singing ... i wanna be there .. and he turned his linkin park music up and was singing over me , so i can take a hint ... i got off the phone and cryed and cryed , then jamie said he said to her that he didnt mean what he said last night .. but he wont talk to me on msn .. and he hasnt called me .. so i guess what im trying to say is that i feel worthless like im not good enough and that .. i should just give up .. im so depressed today its not even funny ... and its thanks giveing too .... i dont no what to do .. i dont no where to turn .. every time i think about us not being together .. my heart hurts .... i want him soo bad ... but obviously he doesnt want me .. sxo thats my entry for today .. and jamie says he said he loves me alot but then why wont he be with me ... anyway ... thanks for reading about my worthless life ... and my meaning less existence .. have a HAPPY THANKSGIVEING i love you all .... cya