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here we are, dear old friend
in a bar, drunk again
laughs have been heard, tears have been shed
maybe the wiskey has gone to my head
but if i were gay, i'd give you my heart
and if I were gay, you'd be my work of art
and if I were gay, we'd swim in romance
but since I'm not gay, then get your hands out of my pants
its not that I don't care... i do
i just don't see myself in you
another time, another scene
I'd be right behind you if you know what I mean
If i were gay, I'd give you soul
and if I were gay, i'd give you my hole - being
and if I were gay, we'd tear down the walls
but since I'm not gay, please stop cupping my ba-pants
we've never hugged, we've never kissed
I've never been intimate, with your fist
you have opened brand new doors
now come over here and drop you drawers.