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In my life I have had many opportunities to be good and to be bad, My life hasn't been too hard on my and in no way has it been easy either. As a child I was deemed as spoiled, Not in the normal way of having anything and everything i wanted, cause that wasn't the case at all. My family were fairly poor but i was never asked to help with the chores and was allowed to do what i wanted. I got my first computer, not laptop. a real computer at the age of 10, 11. I must have spent all summer on it and didn't go out once. Luckily it broke because as a ten year old you can never know how to scan computers and a virus killed it. My entire childhood was sandwiched in between my mother and father arguing all the time causing my dad to leave us multiple times, It always upset me and left me in the middle, Making me think that it was my fault. He always came back though. Life never seemed hard for me, not until the age of 16... Things got complicated for me at this point, My father once again left us and it was at the time in my life where I was trying to work things out for myself, It got to the point where my parents were fighting for my love and trying to lure me to them with presents and gestures of kindness. It never did swing me to love one more than the other though. My first year at college(High school) i was bullied and had no friends to back me up, I had no idea why i was being bullied either, i had no reason to be, it just seemed that before college had started everyone had found their groups and i hadn't meaning i was the course loner. In the second year I had managed to make some friends and was finding out what i was good at and what i wasn't, it was also the year where i got my first proper girlfriend, she was in the same course as me but the year that had just come up, the year below us. A few boys in each class liked this girl and My friend wanted her so initially i let him have her, i waited about a month and he still hadn't made a move so i decided that enough was enough and i made a move for her instead. Within a week of making a move we were together and i had never been happier. She made me more confident in myself and was good at things that i was not so good at and vise-versa. We spent a lot of time together at college but no so much outside of college, he family hated me because we weren't the same class as her family and they thought that they were better than us. Apparently the excuse was, I'm not a respectable teenager and didn't deserve her. Even though no matter what i did to make her happy wasn't good enough for her family. Sometimes it drove me to the point of confronting her family about it but she always told me not too. So i didn't... I was falling for this girl and just when i thought things were going great... She broke up with me... Said she didn't have time for a relationship anymore, couldn't juggle me, work and college together... It hurt but i tried my best to understand. Until she got with a new guy a week later... a year relationship gone in a week. It took me months to get over her but i did and moved on.

((soppy relationship crap over with))

So as this 17 year old i had faced heartbreak.... What happened next i didn't expect. The month is July, I recall the day being the 7th, One of my close friends went to sleep and never woke up... She was my age and it caused the whole college that knew her to lay flowers. That hurt me a hell of a lot and never knew what losing a close friend was like. Just as i was getting over that, I witnessed my best friend (at the time) kill himself, a double whammy.. It was the worst thing i have ever seen especially when i knew he didn't mean too and he was just being his usual self trying to be funny...

When i was 18, i got my tattoos and managed to talk someone out of killing themselves, gave someone the confidence to carry on in life and fight on though the hard times. I spoke to her again recently... Shes engaged and expecting a child. How life can change huh?

My life isn't perfect but i don't want it to be, i like to learn how life works and the learn how to deal with the unexpected.