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I haven't posted here in a while.

With good reason too. I branched out. Tried to find other places to journal. I found Tumblr, but for some reason there's nothing as satisfying as this. Mostly because not a lot of people read these entries, so I'm pretty much safe with what I say.

There's tons to update on, but here's just what's been happening lately.

I officially got diagnosed with mental illnesses. Back when I said I was feeling depressed and such, I kind of didn't know I 'actually' depressed until Sophomore year. Which...I'm not sure if I've mentioned...well, whatever.

However, I got diagnosed bipolar not too long ago. Which means I have extreme highs and extreme lows. Which sucks. I never feel like myself. This also makes sense because of all the things that have been happening to me. I sometimes hear voices and see things that aren't there, and that's caused by being manic (the high from bipolar) I'm just kind of frustrated because I have to go through all this s**t.

Anyway, apparently the split personalities weren't new to me in Sophomore year. I had one since Freshman year, which I find interesting...

I'm not together with Isaac anymore and things are kind of meh between us. Not much to talk about there.

I met a guy named Skyler (you probably saw art of us but I deleted the post) and we went out for a couple months. He left to go to the Air Force & broke up with me a week after he got out of BMT. ******** sucked. It took me by surprise, too.

Shortly after that, I decided to commit suicide and was sent to a mental hospital for a week.

Fell for a guy pretty hard, he seemed really nice but he ended up hurting me repeatedly. Not intentionally, though. We're still friends, but it's really rough between us. He's a really good friend of mine and he's been very helpful and I would hate to lose him.

Things have been kind of rough for me, as you can tell.

Right now I'm experience a low so I can't really say that I'm hopeful for the future. I haven't been able to sleep all night and I'm really frustrated.

I'm going to try to get to sleep. I don't know if I can, though...

~Vanessa