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I accidentally did not take my meds this morning. How one accidentally does this is by forgetting during breakfast then remembering while on the way to an appointment, which is then followed by another appointment. By the time those are done, it is lunch time and I was meeting with Andrea for the first time in almost two years. This was such an epic thing that I could not simply ask her to go back with me. I already had nerves because I had to talk to her seriously about the past couple of days. She was very accepting and quiet. We went to the movies and basically talked for two hours. I'm sure we could have simply talked the entire time but I was dying to see a movie, did not see THE movie I wanted to really see so badly but go to see A movie so that was good.

It was a hard day because I could not tell Andrea that I was having trouble with my moods. As the first day, it would be a bad intro that I was off balance again, but I was. In the meetings I had trouble keeping control and teared up for no real reason. I also know that I did not sleep well last night because of the coffee. In general it was hard because I had been doing so well and to suddenly have a rough patch.... sucks. It totally blows to feel like you're recovering then one slip and you might be a mess. To know it is so fragile is terrifying and almost frustrating.

Despite the rough patches, there were a lot of good things. Obviously, seeing Andrea was a huge up factor. I also made homemade ravioli tonight so that was fun-ish. I felt more accomplished than anything. I also wrote a new letter to Melany and found a new group that I should be going to soon, specifically for people with bipolar disorder.

Jordan called today and I finally got a text from Josh. >w< He makes me all jittery.