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I might delete the other entries just to leave the important ones.
It’s been so long since I used this journal... and the weird thing is that I been trying to exploit it more because of the stuff I think. You might have some questions, so I’ll answer a few things you guys are probably thinking... If I miss anything, leave a comment and I’ll be sure to answer it.
- What happened? Why you left without saying something?
I’m not sure what really happened, it was a combination with the studies, my relationship with my friends (and non-existent friends [I’ll touch that in a moment]), a depression and a terrible lack wanting to be online.

I didn’t plan to leave, it just happened. I was under a small depression caused by the death of Edd Gould (That really affected me) and the talk with a friend of mine. I rummaged around my old stuff because I got a new music player and I wanted to add it some good, nostalgic and awesome music. 80 and 90s stuff makes me happy. When suddenly I found an old game I really enjoyed when I was younger. I installed the game and started to revive good memories.

That little game made me look back and think in the good friends I used to have (While I’m writing this I see too many faces). That just made think that the present me is like grey wall compared with the mural of my past. I entered in a phase of depression. And you know, I think I considered killing me three times: One on the shower, probably the next morning, one on the bus on the way back in the same day and a few days later when I was going to sleep.

I uninstalled the game and began to think (AGAIN) in something do, distract my mind, in order to, well, honestly, not kill myself (all this while still going to the university, taking tests and homework). I installed a new game, a better one, and start watching... wait for it... My little pony: fim. That actually helped me to cheer up (I became a casual brony). After I began to feel better I began to say to myself: “you got to get back to Gaia”, “you should write something in Gaia”, “get online!”... But I didn’t have that strong feeling of really wanting to be there... maybe because I didn’t have more than just 4 or 5 people to look for... that was around, 14 or 12 days ago.

I have my own reasons to be online, but I would admit that I am inspired by how strong is a person I though I knew for a long time is and how ashamed I am of myself.






- About those non-existent friends...
I’m talking about my friend list and my real life friends:
I had 53 friends on my friends list… now I have 13 and... That includes 2 NPCS and 3 dear friends that would never go back (but I like seeing their names). That means I only have 8 boys and girls that I can really call friends... which I stupidly pushed away from me...
Which reminds why I only have one friend in real life... sadly, I haven’t talk with him in months. *sigh*


- Are you getting back for real?
At the moment, I find impossible leaving Gaia. I’m falling in a well, and I hate the darkness and the loneliness. That is why I’m back; I need the brightness and pureness of Gaia to save my soul (it’s not perfect, but it’s a lot better than facebook [for me, at least]).

- Have any plans?
Actually I do, first I need to catch up with my friends. And somehow, get together a few that haven’t talk much with each other. Other than that is to start spamming my journal with deep and philosophical stuff... about cats (I’ll start using this thing more). And probably, checking the forums more... I haven’t get in a real interesting talk with anyone in the forums in years.

- If you stop coming to Gaia again, what should I do?
Try to contact me, if you have read all this I know I can trust you...
Here is my email: mjuz_seiya@hotmail.com
If I disappear for a single week, no, 5 days without previous notice...
Please... PLEASE, spam my inbox with messages.
I would really appreciate it (just remember to identify yourself, or I might ignore them).


Like I said, if I’m missing something just add a comment below.
Thank you for reading all this...
If no one read this... well, then that knife and that edge had suddenly turned more interesting.