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The Life and Mind of DamnBlackHeart
This is to help me stay actively writing. So expect to see rants, tips on writing, thoughts on subjects, me complaining of boredom, reviews, anime, movies, video games, conventions, tv shows and whatever life throws at me.
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In a recent dream I was moving in to an old house, not a castle but more like a mansion. I don’t know why. The tour guide/lawyer/real estate booker…whoever she was, told me that since I’m going to be living there, that I need to get to know the house. So it was late at night, she was telling me that such an old place like this had a lot of history and secret passages. It was important that I know everything about it.
She was showing me one of the secret passages. A wall in one of the guest bedroom, slide open when she pressed a stone near the ground. The wall popped open like a door and inside it a narrow passageway. It was very dark and musty. She bought out a flashlight and went in first. We followed it until we reached a ladder going down. She told me that there’s a large area below and the only way to access it is to go through there.
She went down first and I followed along. When I reached the bottom I noticed that there were portraits hanging up the walls. She pointed them out, letting me know that they are the previous families that owned the place. I asked why are there portraits here and not somewhere everyone can see. She shrugged, telling me that she’s not completely sure about that. Just figured that the families were just strange and it became tradition for them to do that.
I still wasn’t sure the point of it but shrugged it off. We reached the end of the hallway and faced a door. She pulled out a bunch of old fashion keys and went through them one by one. She talked about how it’s a pain to know which keys are used for what and that some keys they haven’t figured out where they go to. While she was going on about that I noticed a particular portrait of a family near the door.
I asked about it and she told me that they were the last family to live there. She went back to talking about other things. I got closer to the painting, finding it strange. My eyes kept being draw to the child in it. She look awful familiar.
I check around to see if there’s more. Across it was a bunch of small portraits of each family member. I got a better view of the child and it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was poured over me. She look exactly like I did I was that age, 8 years old. It was freaky. The chances of finding a doppelgänger is slim and yet there was one right there. But it got me wondering, if the little girl in the painting would have grown up to look just like me. Or did she?
I was about to ask the lady about it but I felt a breeze behind me. I looked behind me and saw the little girl. She was completely solid, I was afraid to blink thinking that she’ll suddenly appear right in front of me. But I had to and when I did, she was gone. The lady was completely obvious and finally found the right key to opened the door. I quickly followed behind her, thinking that this place might be haunted now. I asked her about the last family to own the place and what happen to them. She told me that after the death of their little girl parents closed themselves off from their neighbors and everyone in the town. They became quite and empty.
I asked how the girl died but the lady didn’t know. There were reports of her being ill, some that said she was poisoned and others that said she never died. Some even said she never existed and was just a representation of the baby the mother lost. I wanted to know the girls name but the lady didn’t know of it.
Then my dream skipped to a week later. My family moved in and I was in my room organizing and putting things away. For some reason I don’t know, I felt like I was possessed…no more like I was in total control of myself but felt influence to head back to the secret passage. It was quite and eerie, it felt like something was watching me. The door at the end of the hallway creaked open and I tried to convince myself that it was possible a draft. I held my breath, feeling like there was something in there, waiting. I pushed the door open, the room was empty and I sighed in relief.
I shook my head, knowing my paranoia is going to make me jump at every little thing. I turn to leave but in the doorway is the little girl. I froze, quickly wondering if I’m seeing things or if she’s feeling there. I wanted to scream, to run but none of that would help me. She’s standing in the only way out and I was afraid of doing something to upset or piss her off.
All she did was stare at me, making me feel like she was looking right into my soul. I couldn’t get a clear reading of her at first. But the longer she stared unblinkingly a feeling started to grow, a dreadful feeling. As though I shouldn’t be anywhere near her. That if I was anyone else it wouldn’t be that bad. But you know when people have that fight or flight instinct? Well, my flight instincts were on overdrive, telling me I had to get the hell out. I never felt like that before, I trust it and yet I couldn’t find myself to do as it says.
For some unknown reason her expression changed, to a surprise one. Then she disappear, just like the wind does with a pile of powder. The atmosphere in the room changed, like the weight had been lifted. I relaxed, not realizing that I was tense as a board. Everything changed now, not just because she was gone but in myself as well. There was knowledge in my mind, something shifted in me to reveal it or maybe something put it in there.
I now knew that the little girl and I were connected. She was the past and I was the future. Something went wrong and she never got the chance to move on. To truly be reborn. She was only half. The years alone in the house weren’t good to her. It also didn’t help that she was too mature for her age.
She was pleased, so very please that she finally found me. Well, more like I found her. Now that I was there, she needed me, wanted me. She wanted to be me or was I to become her? It wouldn’t have been so bad if she wasn’t different. If she wasn’t tainted. I had a strong idea that something evil, corrupt her and I have to run. To not let her merge and to not let her take over my body.
The thought is innocent enough, to become whole and reclaim the life she lost. But it was too late to be as one. Last I remember is running out of the room, planning to never come back. I looked one last time behind me and I saw the little girl’s face darken, her eyes following me in angry.
Then I woke up.
 DamnBlackHeart · Thu May 24, 2012 @ 09:24pm · 0 Comments |
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