There are things about me that not everyone knows about...
Examples:
1.) I have major trust issues... If I think you're lying to me about something, you'll see it. I've had people lie to me in the past and I know how messed up lies can become, and how bad they can hurt people. I have also lied.. Everyone has but if it's something major... Then we will have a problem.
2.) I have health issues... I just recently got a kidney infection.. Hurt like a mother ********. I get massive migraines if i'm massively stressed, I normally get sick twice a month alone... A knee problem runs in my family.. Mine is different then my family but its still a knee problem. When I'm walking my knee will give out and I sometimes fall down because of it. I have a heart problem as well... Not only those things but I also get majorly light headed.. Doctors say I get up to fast, or don't breath in deep enough before I get up. Confuses me but.. oh well. I also have a thyroid problem.. If I stop taking my pill's... My doctor's said I'll die.
3.) I used to be suicidal.. When I was about 4-5 years old, my family and I were at a family party.. We were all dressed up, and having fun but.. me... I was off trying to kill myself. The reason I remember this is because we all had to take a family photo. In that photo... You see me in the middle, trying to choke myself to death.. No one stopped me ether... In middle school, I cut my legs up... I blamed it on falling out of a tree so my gym teachers wouldn't ask to many questions... I've also tried to OD on my thyroid pill... Nothing ever happened.
4.) I have been raped.... End of story on that one.. Only people I trust can ask question's about this little subject...
5.) I'm ADDICTED to music.. If i'm away from music for just a few hours.. I'll be ok. Now, if i'm away from music for a whole week, expect me to go a little nuts. Not that i'll ever be away from music for that long since there's music everywhere, but you get my point. I LIVE on music... I LOVE MUSIC!!!!
6.) I have a really bad problem.. When it comes to relationships... My ex's in the past have pounded it into my head now, and i'm scared it will continue to happen unless I change. Every time my boyfriend or girlfriend becomes extremely close to me... I begin to become distant. I'm not cheating, i'm not falling out of love with them.. It's because i'm scared. I'm scared that if I let them become any closer than they are.. And for some reason they leave me.. I wont be able to handle it.
The reason I am like this is because of my 1st and 2nd boyfriend.. My first boyfriend had died.. The day right before my birthday. My 2nd boyfriend.. Cheated on me, abused me, used me, and so much more.. Things that will scar me for the rest of my life.. My boyfriends have threatened to rape me whenever something goes wrong.. I have poor choice in men.. But I continue to try to find happiness.
7.) I am self-conscience.. I think i'm a fat pig, and do not deserve to have someone sexy.. For some reason, most of the guys are so fricken sexy that I feel like s**t when I show them what I look like... -Sighs.- Yeah.. It's a major downer for me... If you would be so kind as to.. Be a little nice to me when it comes to looks...? UGH! Then i'm just making you say stuff!... Screw it, say what you like...
8.) I'm not like normal people.. At all. I treat people like their kids, or even babies. I blow on their tummies, tickle them, I sometimes say "Oh my poor little baby"... I'm weird.. MASSIVELY weird.. I want to have kids. Literally HAVE kids... Any questions? Heh.. -Awkward smile.- I act like a child most of the time.. I love bubbles, and coloring.. I'm a big kid.. I ALSO HATE SALIVA!!! It's my phobia Ehhhh...
9.) I have anger issues.. But every time I get angry, someone laughs, or ignores it. Which makes me even more mad! When i'm mad, I will ether clean (Which means throw a lot of things away), Scream, or go silent... You do not want to make me angry.. Please? I.. Really just wanna keep my friends...
10.) I have done countless hurtful things to my family.. They do not trust me, they do not love me like they orignally did when I was born.. Tell the truth.. I don't even like me.. I hate myself.. I wish I would just die sometimes.. -Feels like i'm alone in darkness.- I need to be with someone who can make me happy, and I can talk to whenever I need them.. My family... They don't know a LOT of things about me... To them.. I'm just their daughter.. But to everyone else.. I'm someone their scared of.. Please.. Don't be scared of me..
That's all for now... More entries will be put in once I have more reasons to write. Sorry I write so much.. Now that you know a little more about me, leave a comment or, make a entry about yourself and I'll read it. If.. You want me to that is.
Thanks, again! Bye...
Examples:
1.) I have major trust issues... If I think you're lying to me about something, you'll see it. I've had people lie to me in the past and I know how messed up lies can become, and how bad they can hurt people. I have also lied.. Everyone has but if it's something major... Then we will have a problem.
2.) I have health issues... I just recently got a kidney infection.. Hurt like a mother ********. I get massive migraines if i'm massively stressed, I normally get sick twice a month alone... A knee problem runs in my family.. Mine is different then my family but its still a knee problem. When I'm walking my knee will give out and I sometimes fall down because of it. I have a heart problem as well... Not only those things but I also get majorly light headed.. Doctors say I get up to fast, or don't breath in deep enough before I get up. Confuses me but.. oh well. I also have a thyroid problem.. If I stop taking my pill's... My doctor's said I'll die.
3.) I used to be suicidal.. When I was about 4-5 years old, my family and I were at a family party.. We were all dressed up, and having fun but.. me... I was off trying to kill myself. The reason I remember this is because we all had to take a family photo. In that photo... You see me in the middle, trying to choke myself to death.. No one stopped me ether... In middle school, I cut my legs up... I blamed it on falling out of a tree so my gym teachers wouldn't ask to many questions... I've also tried to OD on my thyroid pill... Nothing ever happened.
4.) I have been raped.... End of story on that one.. Only people I trust can ask question's about this little subject...
5.) I'm ADDICTED to music.. If i'm away from music for just a few hours.. I'll be ok. Now, if i'm away from music for a whole week, expect me to go a little nuts. Not that i'll ever be away from music for that long since there's music everywhere, but you get my point. I LIVE on music... I LOVE MUSIC!!!!
6.) I have a really bad problem.. When it comes to relationships... My ex's in the past have pounded it into my head now, and i'm scared it will continue to happen unless I change. Every time my boyfriend or girlfriend becomes extremely close to me... I begin to become distant. I'm not cheating, i'm not falling out of love with them.. It's because i'm scared. I'm scared that if I let them become any closer than they are.. And for some reason they leave me.. I wont be able to handle it.
The reason I am like this is because of my 1st and 2nd boyfriend.. My first boyfriend had died.. The day right before my birthday. My 2nd boyfriend.. Cheated on me, abused me, used me, and so much more.. Things that will scar me for the rest of my life.. My boyfriends have threatened to rape me whenever something goes wrong.. I have poor choice in men.. But I continue to try to find happiness.
7.) I am self-conscience.. I think i'm a fat pig, and do not deserve to have someone sexy.. For some reason, most of the guys are so fricken sexy that I feel like s**t when I show them what I look like... -Sighs.- Yeah.. It's a major downer for me... If you would be so kind as to.. Be a little nice to me when it comes to looks...? UGH! Then i'm just making you say stuff!... Screw it, say what you like...
8.) I'm not like normal people.. At all. I treat people like their kids, or even babies. I blow on their tummies, tickle them, I sometimes say "Oh my poor little baby"... I'm weird.. MASSIVELY weird.. I want to have kids. Literally HAVE kids... Any questions? Heh.. -Awkward smile.- I act like a child most of the time.. I love bubbles, and coloring.. I'm a big kid.. I ALSO HATE SALIVA!!! It's my phobia Ehhhh...
9.) I have anger issues.. But every time I get angry, someone laughs, or ignores it. Which makes me even more mad! When i'm mad, I will ether clean (Which means throw a lot of things away), Scream, or go silent... You do not want to make me angry.. Please? I.. Really just wanna keep my friends...
10.) I have done countless hurtful things to my family.. They do not trust me, they do not love me like they orignally did when I was born.. Tell the truth.. I don't even like me.. I hate myself.. I wish I would just die sometimes.. -Feels like i'm alone in darkness.- I need to be with someone who can make me happy, and I can talk to whenever I need them.. My family... They don't know a LOT of things about me... To them.. I'm just their daughter.. But to everyone else.. I'm someone their scared of.. Please.. Don't be scared of me..
That's all for now... More entries will be put in once I have more reasons to write. Sorry I write so much.. Now that you know a little more about me, leave a comment or, make a entry about yourself and I'll read it. If.. You want me to that is.
Thanks, again! Bye...
