I'm shocked to my core and yet, I feel a pang of guilt as well. These are most definitely separate feelings from my paper stress and worries.
I ran into Laura again today, only this time we chatted for a bit. Found out she didn't like St. Francis and left the people out of her life. This... shocked me to my core. I assumed that everyone else from high school had kept their old alliances. This.... is so unbelievable. I mean, now I am filled with such curiosity. I want to know things like what her major is or whether she likes it here. I want to know so much. I wouldn't mind if she didn't want to see me or ask about me but I want to be open to it if she is, now that I know she has no alliances.
I let her know about my alliance to Dev but, honestly, I can't say whether I'm that strongly devoted to her anymore. I'm starting to see the two-faced side of her. I can see how she talks to those people she says mean nothing to her and wonder if I'm in the same category, where I get told LIES to my face. She doesn't talk to me anymore and I know, I know working lifestyle is completely different to other worlds but a text is not that hard. Even when I worked, I texted and let people know I would call another time when I wasn't so busy. I've gotten nothing.
Again, this is me blowing the situation out of proportion. It hasn't been that long and it really shouldn't be that big of a deal. The reason it means so much to me, I think, is cause I haven't talked to her in so long and really want to hear from her as well as the paranoia sinking in again. [/ shrug] the cycle begins again.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world