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My mind feels broken and I don't think I can do this anymore
I keep screaming No, but so badly, I want blood to fall to the floor
One mistake after another and now I know who I am
A failure only destined to fail again
I couldn't even succeed at taking my own life
I wish I meant nothing so this could feel right
Those words keep coming back to me, that I need to live
But there's a price to be paid and my life is the only thing to give
Maybe if I was gone those parents of mine would be proud of me
"A face only a mother could love" Well where the hell does that put me?
I've never been and never will be good enough for either of them
To my own mother, after I die, I am still the one condemned
Brother, dear brother, he would just love to kill me with his own hands
To get rid of me would mean more for him, I understand
And I'm sorry for breaking everything I had ever touched
And I'm sorry that because of everything I was never gentle enough
I will always be too abnormal for my mother
And just a punching bag for my brother
I wish a phone call could save my life again
But it seems that I'm losing that friend
I'm sick of being stuffed in this room and kept alone
I'm sick of the faces and sick of waiting by the phone
I just don't feel like I can do this anymore
I can't keep hiding behind that god damned door
I'm tired of being everyone's little toy
I'm tired of seeing everyone else in joy
I wish I could let go of the desire to make everyone happy
Let go of making people feel what it seems I will never be
I don't even want to try saving who I am
It just feels good to just give in
But I know it's wrong
I've know that for so long
It's just that it hurts to keep living when I feel I've lost him
Without him, everything just feels too grim
If I'm not important to him any longer
Then nothing can make me any stronger
Without him, I don't feel like I can do this anymore
Without him, I can't stop blood from falling to the floor