Sometimes, when I have nothing to do, I get to thinking about death. I'm an atheist, so I believe when you die, that's it. There is no afterlife, people don't have souls.
I've been asked this question. "If you could spend a year on vacation, but you would not remember any of it at all, would you still go?" I said yes. Ignorance is in fact bliss, at least I would spend a year having a good time. After that though, I thought, isn't that life on a smaller scale? Some people might think, what's the point, because you'll die and forget everything you ever knew. Hell, more than forget, you won't exist and eventually your existence will be forgotten by others also. It makes everything seem so pointless.
In regards to that, I'm trying to control my social anxiety more, because what's the big deal if I embarrass myself in public, my number one fear? I'll forget it one day, the people around me will probably forget it sooner. I can always start over, which is what I desperately want to do now. I want to go to school in Florida, but I know I'm still too naive to be living on my own. If only I could convince my parents to leave this place behind..it's not like they particularly enjoy it here either. They're stuck, though, the type of people who prefer to do naught but care for the lawn and watch TV. I might do study abroad next semester with a friend, though, something I've always wanted. Alas, we'll see.
I've been asked this question. "If you could spend a year on vacation, but you would not remember any of it at all, would you still go?" I said yes. Ignorance is in fact bliss, at least I would spend a year having a good time. After that though, I thought, isn't that life on a smaller scale? Some people might think, what's the point, because you'll die and forget everything you ever knew. Hell, more than forget, you won't exist and eventually your existence will be forgotten by others also. It makes everything seem so pointless.
In regards to that, I'm trying to control my social anxiety more, because what's the big deal if I embarrass myself in public, my number one fear? I'll forget it one day, the people around me will probably forget it sooner. I can always start over, which is what I desperately want to do now. I want to go to school in Florida, but I know I'm still too naive to be living on my own. If only I could convince my parents to leave this place behind..it's not like they particularly enjoy it here either. They're stuck, though, the type of people who prefer to do naught but care for the lawn and watch TV. I might do study abroad next semester with a friend, though, something I've always wanted. Alas, we'll see.
