Continued from "Devin" and this will take place the next day, on Thursday, August 30th, 2007. I took my bike out for a ride to Wal-Mart, and decided to go shopping. I wanted to get as much stuff as I could possible hold. Along with some soda, I got some other groceries that caused a heavy load on my bike back to the shelter. After I unloaded, I went back out on my bike, and headed for the Tidbury track alone. It was a very long ride from the shelter, but I needed to do something. While at the Tidbury track, I practiced some more BMX, going off some jumps and trail riding, couldn't tell if I was thinking a lot, or not at all. After spending a few hours there, I contacted Louden, and went over his house to do my laundry, in exchanged for him not having to pay me back for a lunch I paid for him when we went riding a previous day. I stayed at his house, and sat around watching TV until my laundry was done. I don't remember too many more details about this time, because the event with Devin was like a magnet to all my thoughts and emotions, it was all I could think about, and there wasn't anything left to think about, it was over.
The next day, I went back to the Tidbury track to practice some more jumps and bike riding. I went back to that Ice Cream shop in the Greentree plaza and cooled off with some interesting flavored ice. It was Italian ice, but in a huge white cup. I laid down in the field behind the plaza, not realizing it was in front of Devin's neighborhood, not caring. I remember taking off my biking gloves to see the only area of my body that was not yet tanned. I was kind of embarrassed, even while alone, that I would have to either wear gloves, or look like I'm wearing gloves. On my way home, I stopped by and got some fast food, probably McDonald's, and went to sleep.
I remember a few nights, my roommates always talking on the phone with their girlfriends. One of them had a daughter that he was trying to finally see, and the black guy was flirting with his girlfriend all the time. I never really paid attention, mostly just listened to music or wrote in my notebooks. There was another 18 year old kid there, but was into bag things and often got into fights with some of the other people there. I tried to stay away from the shelter as much as possible, it was obviously nothing to look forward to.
September 1st, Saturday, I went to Wal-Mart to get a new shirt, and from what I read in my journal, I had an interview this day. This was another day I would ride around Dover and possibly shop. I wasn't being stupid with my money, I just felt protected by this job that I had at the Pizza place. I biked all over Dover, and even traveled to South Dupont Highway, where I stopped at Kohl's to buy some new Pants, they were brown cargo jeans that were very light. I chose them because they would go well with riding my bike.
That night, we all got word that there was a fight that broke out between Nick and a known mother that was staying there. Nick was the other 18 year old staying there. He got very drunk, and said something things to that lady, and she beat the crap out of him. I remember this lady being the one that let her young daughter wear mini-skirts, which everyone at the shelter had a problem with, being that her daughter's age was in the single digits. My guess is that she deserved it, but he did too. Nick busted out a knife, and kept threatening everybody, but wasn't really a threat with how drunk he was. I managed to get upstairs to my room late at night where my two roommates saw him laying on the stairs yelling at himself, bragging about being from Compton, and how he's gonna beat up that lady again. I was too busy laughing with my roommates at him, but I peeked out and he started taunting me too, I didn't say anything, just smiled as he tried to get up. My two roommates, both gangsters twice his size, came to the door and asked if he was threatening me. They walked over to him and he kept slurring words that we couldn't understand. All of a sudden he starts bragging about how he's a fighter, and wants to knock that lady out, and starts punching himself in the face to prove it. We all laughed so hard, just nodding, telling him to do it again, do it again, harder, let me see you slap, come on slap harder, as he continued to beat himself up. I went back into my room because I thought I was going to pass out from laughing so hard. The next time we checked to see if he was out there, he was in his room. We decided to play a prank on him. For the sake of this story, I won't go into detail about what we did, but he woke up finding a condom, watery lotion, and baby powder next to him.
The next day, I woke up pretty late, I biked down to the stores on North Dupont Highway, and checked out some possible cell phone plans. I learned that Verizon was too expensive, when I walked into the place they immediately thought I was rich and wanted to buy something. Not much else happened that day, I went back to the shelter and joined everybody in the living room watching Titanic. There was a lot of chores to be done on this day, as the next day was going to be a cookout held by the House Manager.
Monday, September 3rd, there was a huge cookout. The house manager, a huge black guy if you don't remember, was the one on the grill. I remember filling up, and how fast the food was going. I had a nice sized, tender, juicy, perfectly grilled chicken, and paired that with one of my cold Mountain Dews. The house manager reminded me to get my bus tickets to go home, I remember telling him that they were cheaper to buy them in advance. Him and Mr. Lewis had been talking to me about going back home, and to work things out with my family, but I hadn't contacted them too much on the topic. I rode my bike all the way down to the bus station where I had arrived at, and they once again remembered me. I ordered my tickets successfully for a lot cheaper price since it was 7 days in advance. I remember checking my pocket on the bike ride back, and finding out that I had dropped my tickets somewhere. I immediately panicked and turned around, and eventually found them after five minutes of retracing my trip. I was too busy worrying about keeping them in one piece, but I arrived with them safely back at the shelter. After I got my bus tickets, I showed them to the house manager and he told Mr. Lewis and they were both glad. I took a nap, since I had been riding on a full stomach and needed a break. When I woke up, there was still plenty of time to go out, so I hopped on my bike and headed for the Mall. While I was at the mall, I stopped by Aeropostle to look at some clothes. I'm not sure if I had a gift card or not, but I ended up buying a brown zip-up sweatshirt that I really liked, with a black outlined eagle on the front, and easy to roll up sleeves. It looked really cool on me because the sleeves fit perfectly and it was still loose all around.
The next day, I went to McDonald's in the morning, the one on North Dupont Highway, and then biked to the Mall from there. I talked with a lady about T-Mobile, as I slowly learned more about cell phone plans and how they work. After that I biked to Wal-Mart just for a ride, and continued my normal ride where I would cut through places like Car Dealerships and Hotels and other parking lots, until I reached a sidewalk near the college. When I got back to the shelter, I apparently had gotten a call from the payphone they had there, from my grandmother, telling me to call her immediately. They had learned by plans to come home.
I questioned sharing this part with everybody, as I have family here that will find it hard to believe, or won't want to believe this happened to me.
Prior to this day, I had contacted my dad, and told him that he should be happy with the way things are. He told me that he can't be happy, that he's in a no-win situation, and that he ends up losing a son either way, and that his kids were the only reason he keeps living everyday. When you take a man's son away you give him nothing left to lose. My dad almost started drinking again, after almost a decade of being sober. I had no idea how he felt until then, he told me he missed me and he just wants everybody to get along. I hadn't known that Jen was threatening to move away with Austin if I didn't leave until I talked to my brother TJ later on.
I was expecting my family to take me back. I remember, calling, switching off between my dad, my grandmother, and my brother. My dad told me that I couldn't come home, that it wasn't allowed, that it wasn't possible. I remember my grandmother's exact words, Brendan, we don't have a place for you here. I hung up, and went upstairs to cry, only to be called down again by a lot of people in the lobby. They were all interested in what was going on, and one of my roommates was holding the phone for me, an older guy, as I took the phone and instantly hung it up. They all sighed and tried to reason with me as I stormed back up to my room in tears, furious. When I got back to my room, I pulled out my small knife and poked my wrists until I started bleeding, over and over until someone came running upstairs wanting to talk to me. It was the black Taxi driver that had preached God to me when I first went to Dover. I went downstairs after covering up with my new brown sweatshirt, and went into Mr. Lewis' office to talk with him.
Mr. Lewis immediately got on the phone, and told me to call my dad. I dialed the number, and gave the phone back to him. He spoke with my father, and told him, Sir, this is your son, this is your baby boy that you raised, he doesn't have much time left in this place and I know these streets and he wouldn't last very long out there by his own, you're gonna kill your own flesh and blood. Mr. Lewis almost started crying himself as he preached to my father to take me back, mentioning God, and how everyone deserves a chance to better themselves. He's only 18 he's not ready to handle the adult world, I can tell he's not from the city he belongs with his family because I know how much of a caring kid this is, he's a good kid you know, I don't wanna see him give up because his family rejected him.
His tone was soft and full of sorrow, then my dad talked to me and said... Brendan... I want you to come home.
I want to come home dad...
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Buzz Killlington
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