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1) If love is blind, then why is there lingerie?
Don't ask me.

2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
Cause they want to.

3) Should you believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
No.

4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
No.

5) Why is it that dogs love to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at you if you blow in their face?
Cause they catch flies out the window. When you blow in their face, they're smelling your s**t breath.

6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
Over there.

7) If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Yes.

8 ) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
What?

9) If the Pentagon were run by women, would missiles be shaped differently?
Maybe...?

10) How do you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
Tell them about it. That way, it won't be a surprise.

11) If your seat can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
Cause i'd be to heavy to fly.

12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
I don't know.

13) Why do people say it's a nice day in summer but complain it's way too hot?
Cause it is.

13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
Purple. DUH.

14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Cause if you add two more, i'd be thirteen.

15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Really? I never noticed.

16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
Cause it was building before.

17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
What? You language is to fancy.

18 ) How can there be self-help groups?
There just are.

19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
Pound bread?

20) Why is that sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Cause their fleece grows again.

21) If a 24 hour convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
They have to close on holidays, right?

22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
Don't ask me.

23) If the word for more than one goose is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
Cause the moose find if offensive.

24) Did you know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
Does it matter?

25) If olive oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
They use baby pee. DUH.

26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect,
why bother practicing?
There is a "Close to perfect," right?

27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
Yes.

28 ) How do you know if sour cream has expired?
You don't. That's the fun of it.
And there is an expiration date, DUH.

29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
What?

30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
Sure.

31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
Cause marble is cool look that.

32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God
talks to are crazy?
Yes.

33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
Cause they want to.

34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
Probably not.

35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
Maybe.

36) Do modern day witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
No.

37) Do mermaids wear algebras?
No..?

38 ) How can there be civil war?
What?

39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
No?

40) If people have nightmares, what do horses call their scary dreams?
Nightmares.

41) Do you get to keep the time you save?
Sort of.

42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
It just takes so long, we all die before it gets to happen.

43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
Cause obviously people want to die.

44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
Therapy.

45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
They do?

46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
I don't get it...

47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
I don't know.

48 ) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
Cause the sun is cool like that.

49) Why does minute rice have to cook for 15 minutes?
Cause on the package they for got to put "fifteen".

50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
Aren't they the same?

51) How do you slam revolving doors?
You slam them. The sound of it hitting your face will make a slam sound.

52) If you put food colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
Never tried it.

53) If an orange is orange and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
Cause the banana is shaped differently.