|
I feel like screaming.
Thinking about just letting it all out. Thinking about everyone and everything that's ever made me upset. Think of how my parents wanted to send me to a psychiatrist because of my depression. How I have to pretend to be happy. How I'm happy maybe once everyday if I'm lucky. Some people make me want to die. No, not die, just disappear. Think about the people I used to know. The people who used to hate me. The people who won't leave me alone now. Think about the ones I "love" if you can even call it that. Love is a lie. Think about how we have to make friends because we're all afraid of dying alone. Think about the people who will rag on me for even typing this. Think about my drawings. Think about music. Think about bad things. Think about nightmares. Think about dreams that will never come to me again. Think about all the things I've thought of doing that will never get done. Think of music. Think of things people have said. Think of the people who think I'm insane. Think of how I love only me. Think of how I'm forced to love more than half of my family. Think of myself and shudder in disgust. Think of everyone I know and think of how they'll leave me. Thinking of all the things I can do within 10 minutes. Think of each and every one of you. Think of all the times I've been a kiss-a**. Think of all the times I've complained. This time included. My head hurts. I'm thinking way too much. Way too fast. I'm drowning out my thoughts with sound. It isn't helping. Thinking of the annoying buzz of my T.V. Thinking of my phone when it vibrates. Thinking of my iPod that got stolen. Thinking of the REC center. Thinking of "friends" Thinking of Christmas. Thinking about love and how the thought of it ruined my life. Thinking about movies. Thinking about Indie films. Thinking about my favorite person in the whole world. Thinking of singing about them. Thinking of their theme song. Thinking of how dramatic it is to seal something with a kiss. Thinking of how stupid wax seals are. Thinking of chapstick. Thinking of my pomegranate chapstick. Thinking about everything. Thinking of screaming.
|
Community Member