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Miraculously, I received straight A's on my report card for the first quarter. I don't know how I did it, considering the new challenges I've come up against, but I did. But... I'm afraid it's all downhill from here.

Most of my classes I can just take in stride; mainly, if you just do your damn work and pay attention, you'll be fine. With these kinds of classes, I don't understand how some people can fail entirely. Are you really that lazy, to not turn in any work; to not come in after class for help? Do some people not just care about their future, so they don't try? I understand how some people can fail their classes while trying their best, but otherwise... Maybe I'm more ignorant than I imagined...

I'm barely getting by in Honors Geometry. [Really, how did I get an A in this class?] But the teacher is patient; I'm able to make test corrections, or retake it entirely. But as far as I'm concerned, proofs can be damned.

The other class I'm having a bit of trouble in is Spanish. I'm not sure why, but I suppose I just have a harder time learning a new language... I'll try harder, then.

When it comes to my social status... I don't know. Most of the time I'm either desiring to be acknowledged by the "cool" kids, or I just don't give a damn what anyone thinks of me. I hang around the few people I was friendly with from middle school, but I find I'm usually unhappy. Maybe I'll never be completely satisfied, but my existing friendships with the kids I knew from middle school, who followed me to high school, feel a little... empty. I don't want it to feel that way, but it's just one more thing that I can't seem to explain. I mean, I don't see them enough in school, or out of school for that matter. So I suppose I feel like I'm drifting apart. Mom says I'm odd, because I'm not very talkitive on the phone, so I rarely call friends.

If this is the teenage experience, of hormones and confusion and stress, I want out.

Oh. My shyness has the tendency to keep me from making new friends, as well.

Considering how I'm doing with attempts at making more friends... I'm afraid of making slipups. I feel the urge to apologize profusely, to mere strangers even, if I so much as bump into them. I often take things much too personally. Even though my behavior itself bothers me, I don't know what to do about it. Sometimes the stress is overwhelming.

I don't think high school will be all it's cracked up to be. But I'll just have to wait and see...