September Journal 2009
Poems
Life Without you
Life without you would be hard and painful, how could anyone bare to be apart from you..that's why I would take my life in order to save yours..
Fix
I know I can't fix nor help everyone, but I can try.
Besides, he fixed me, so how can I not fix others?
Help
You know what's funny..?
I keep my feelings from many people..
I try to push people away when all they want to do is help me.
I kept so many of my feelings inside, that it's been hard to keep it like that..
Luckly I have loving friends who are willing to listen to what I'm going through.
Unforntunatly I feel self fish or feel like I'm hurting someone when I talk it all out.
Anyway thankx to a few of you I'm starting to feel much better..
..You know, people are right. You don't realize how much something is to you, until you lose it. I've learned that so many times..
A Trick/Game
I ran away from home only to find that it was all a trick.
I killed my friends who I trusted because of them.
It's their fault I have nothing to live for, besides to murder the one responsible.
How could they treat someone who just wanted to be happy and exempted so cruely?
Why did they choose me?
Could I trust someone again, and trust they won't hurt me?
The only way to find out is to trust someone, one more time.
Ever since this journey started, it's been nothing but sadness but also it taught me that my life was a lie.
I must find the answers..
A Dream Come True
As if a dream..
Now came true..
Who knew..
Still amazed, about to cry..
yet not for sadness..
but for joy..
How Much you Mean to Me
Do you know how much you mean to me..?
you see..
Empty inside..
without you by my side.
what am I to do when these tears roll down my cheeks?
Not once have I forgotten you, not even a leak..
I miss you..
do you realize how much you mean to me? Do you?
Every second your in my life, it means so much..
but sadness keeps me in it's clutches
Whenever your gone, my heart cries out..
I look for you every route..
I'll wait here for you..
because without you I'm always blue..
I love you..
No matter what..I love you..
Unfair
Why is life so unfair?
When you want to express something, your held back.
When you want to do your own thing, someone keeps you from it.
We are like animals at a zoo, we're are caged..limited.
If only someone could set us free..
Worthless
Feeling so hated and worthless, what am I to do?
Everytime I have happiness, it turns into hate for others around.
Every step I take is another mistake..
So here I am still waiting for this world to stop hating..
All I wish is to be exepted and to be happy.
Memories of Friends
Old memeries, old friends...
Missing them terribly.
I wish I could still hang out with my old friends at least once more...
-----------------------------------
This is in no order of any sort just like most of my friend's list
Buddies who make me happy when I'm down. These people deserve to be reconized. ^_^ I love them all like they are my family. ^_^
Also if I don't have a lot of sentences, it just means I can't find the words to describe you, in a good way. =D
My bestest Buddy who I know in real life. He has helped me find my true self, and has helped me through hard times. Since we are random and strange, we are like siblings. Only we don't fight. He's name ish Shaow.
Username: xFallen-Shadow-Wolfx
Fate is understanding, and seems to always give me great happiness. He's fun to talk to, he's random, and very caring and kind.
Username: fatelinka
Even though she tortures me with Yoai, she's a great friend. She's fun to be with, she's cool, and has an awesome personality.
Username: anime-rulez12
Sar, a gentleman, he's caring and you know that you could look up to him. He's an awesome friend as well as my pet and gaia father.
Username: Duke Sar_The Lover
Nate, I always tease him and dragster that they are in love when they really aren't. I have strange dreams about them together as lovers, it's scary.
Anyway, Nate is fun to with, random, funny, and very hugable.
Username: (Old Username) Nate6pack (Now) Shadow-kairu
Dragster is as well fun to be around and he's random. He always happy, not once have I seen him sad. He's the one who keeps others in a good mood. He's also a great friend.
Username: Dragster3000
Bryan is an understanding, caring guy who cares for his friends when things get complicated for them, he's also funny.
Username: bryanf2012
Blade is always there for me when I'm feeling down. He lets me talk about my feelings instead of ignoring me.
Most of friends listen to what I have to say like Blade does.
Username: Blade Smith Alchemist
This guy is so much fun to be random with. As well as caring and funny.
Username: X-iPoison cookie-X
Another one of my caring, nice friends who I enjoy to around with.
Uername: Shadow Angel Darkness43
He's a cool dude. It's always nice to talk to him.
Username: Muzikpunk
Miss talking him as much as I used to.
He's an awesome friend and very kind.
Username: Lord Hotoku
He's a great friend and I enjoy talking to him.
He's fun and random.
Username: frenchythefries
He's nice. A great friend. Someone who I wish I could talk to a lot.
Username: (Old Username) mad game (Now) Kids Belief
Strange, fun, and funny I love to talk to her. She always makes me laugh unexpectedly. She also my oldest sister.
Username: Samurai_Omenseru
He makes me laugh and have fun when we are being random.
Username: A blue Dude
He's awesome, although I feel bad for not talking to him as much. He's like a brother to me.
Username: Dracomancer Barrelex
Very fun to talk to. He's awesome, funny, and random. I happy he ish my buddy.
Username: Lucifis
A great friend who ish fun to talk to.
Username: Rogue Existence
A great guy who was my first friend on gaia.
Username: 88TheVampireLestat88
I'll miss Crimsonangel. He was a great buddy, fun to be with, and was caring. He left gaia but I won't forget the good times I had with him. I'm glad I got to see him one more time before he left. (I'm not sure if he exactly quit gaia)
Username: Crimsonangel10
It's always nice to talk to him. I remember I met him in towns. He's a great guy.
Username: pyrocrash013
I wish I could talk to him again. He's a great guy although, he's one my friends who I wish to know more about.
Username: L is God
Kratos ish my fire friend. He's awesome too. It's always nice to talk to him.
Username: XxKratos SpartaxX
My peotry writing friend. He's caring towards friends and very nice.
Username: kenta ghost
He's random, funny, and I just love to talk to him.
Username: Helteh
-----------------------------------------
My Drawings
View User's Journal
My Thoughts
Thoughts that cross my mind are worries I have, and can't get them out of my mind..
Only a puppet to one's amusement. The life lived has always been a lie.
"I don't have nightmares, I create them."
"I'd like to depart this world the way I arrived, screaming and covered in someone else's blood."
"I'm the original, I don't need a label."
I am the type of person you would love to see suffer.
"I don't have nightmares, I create them."
"I'd like to depart this world the way I arrived, screaming and covered in someone else's blood."
"I'm the original, I don't need a label."
I am the type of person you would love to see suffer.