Hello, David!
I want to start by thanking you for your work.
Once in a great while, someone comes along that
truly wants to help others succeed, and puts in
the effort to the research and testing, and makes
something great for others. You are one of those
people, and I'm glad to see you succeed by helping
so many others do the same.
I was reaching to find answers, like a lot of us
were, and found your material. It has been
awesome. In the last week, I saw the most
attractive woman I perhaps ever have. She was a
9.5 on my scale, which is truly rare to find for
me. Not just in looks, but a great personality.
Instead of giving in to my normal habits, I
applied the methods you taught. We went out to a
club, and had a great time. I had another friend
of mine there, and I used him as a means to
partially ignore her at times, constantly making
jokes that were just too quiet for her to hear,
and looking at her and smiling when doing it. She
constantly wanted to know what was funny, yet she
wasn't mad, just shyly curious. I was aloof, yet
not terribly too distant from her. I would wander
off by myself, knowing she was with my friend, and
leave them hanging alone for a little while now
and then. (I knew my friend wasn't going to hit on
her). I would go up to other girls and whisper
something in their ear right in front of her, to
give her the idea that I was completely
comfortable in my own skin with women. Once, on my
way back from the dance floor, I found her with
some other guy. I flashed a sly little smile, but
kept on walking right by, as if to imply "You have
a good time there. I could care less. As a matter
of fact, you look a tad pathetic coming on to
him." She soon returned and said that I had been
gone too long, and some guy had "dragged her away
from me". That night, I had resisted the urge to
act like anything but the kind of man you would
teach someone to be. All urges at wussness were
disregarded, and I played the part to a tee. Even
though it didn't entirely feel normal or
comfortable at first, I could see that it was
definitely working, so I kept it up. I would
occasionally catch her staring at me from the
corner of my eye, sometimes for 2 or 3 seconds. I
didn't react, but just kept saying to myself
"Damn. David has been right the whole time".
I woke up the next morning with a weird feeling...
this was something I had never achieved before. I
don't mean sex with a woman soon after I met her,
but the fact that she was so damn gorgeous. At
the risk of sounding a little chauvinistic, she
was the best girl I have ever had. Well, over the
next two weeks or so, I kept coming over and doing
things during the days with her and staying at
night. This is when things began to change.
You had a timeless question from a guy once who
said something like "After I sleep with a woman
why do I feel like hating her?" Well, I normally
feel the same. But with this girl, it was
different. I wanted to keep her. But, the more
time we spent together, the more we started to
both feel like whatever I sparked was fading
quick. I could see the thrill of our initial
meeting was dying, and I wanted to add to my image
in her mind the idea that I could be a part of her
daily life too, not just the nighttime party one.
I felt like I had to show her something that
proved I didn't just want her for sex. I knew I
couldn't let her interpret it as me buying her
attention or body, although I'm afraid that may
have been exactly what I did. I ended up
purchasing her and her roommate a full stock of
groceries, which they definitely needed. It gave
me some kind of a sense that I had shown that I
was more than just a sex buddy, which really felt
good to me. However, lately she has pulled away.
We will still go out and have a good time, but
more like friends, with only a little flirting.
She now refuses sex, saying "it would complicate
things." By the way, although she has been in
long-term relationships since she was 16, she
currently isn't, and seems to be enjoying the
party life a lot. She is 22 now. I know you said
in your audio series that it is a mistake to try
to tie down a party girl, but she told me of her
long-term history with guys, and that's why I
tried. Did I screw up by getting too close too
fast? Was it unrealistic for me to show that kind
of attention to her needs that quick or at all?
How many times should a guy see a girl each week
if he wants to keep up the attraction and have a
great time, but not become too familiar to her?
Thanks man.
Confused, -J
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, I feel your pain.
I'm sure that just about every man alive can
identify with this story in one way or another...
even if it doesn't involve a woman that you'd
describe as a "9.5".
So, let's talk about the situation you're in,
what happened at first, and what to do now...
First of all, congratulations on the fact that
you were able to make this kind of success happen
in the first place!
You're doing great, and I know how good it
feels to have this kind of success with a really
attractive woman.
It sounds like you're really starting to "get
it" at a deep level. The more you continue to
study the materials you have (especially the CD
Series) the more you'll understand how to attract
these UNUSUALLY attractive women... and more
importantly, KEEP THEM ATTRACTED.
Let's review a few of my main concepts, and how
they apply to this situation...
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE
Explained differently, a woman doesn't
CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to feel attracted to a man.
A woman also doesn't consciously choose to STOP
her attraction for a man.
It happens for reasons that seem very illogical
to most men.
The things you were doing when you first met
this girl were EXACTLY the right things for
creating this wonderful feeling of ATTRACTION
inside of her.
And she obviously enjoyed it tremendously.
You mentioned that you didn't feel totally
comfortable at first, but since it was obvious
that she was becoming more and more interested in
you, you kept going... which led to you getting
together with her.
But, remember the flip side: If you start doing
the WRONG things, the woman will LOSE her
ATTRACTION for you as well. And it will happen ALL
BY ITSELF. The worst part is that you can't
logically convince her to keep feeling attracted
to you. If you screw it up, you're probably going
to screw it up to a point that is almost
impossible to fix.
GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU
What do most guys do as soon as they meet a
REALLY HOT, ultra-attractive woman?
Of course! They call three times a day, and
want to see her all the time.
Attractive women know better than to do this.
When an attractive woman meets a man she likes,
she usually PLAYS HARD TO GET. Instead of calling,
she acts like she's BUSY.
This makes the man try even harder, and pursue
her even more...
It sounds like you did exactly the opposite.
In your email here you say:
"Well, over the next two weeks or so, I kept
coming over and doing things during the days with
her and staying at night. This is when things
began to change..."
No no no!
Over the next two weeks you should have called
her every few days, and seen her maybe three times
for a few hours each.
No "doing things during the days with her and
staying at night"!
You really need to remember to GIVE HER THE
GIFT OF MISSING YOU!
If you're around all the time, you become
predictable, expected, and uninteresting.
On the other hand, if you're mysterious,
challenging, and hard to pin down, she will think
about you and miss the times she's had with you.
DON'T TURN INTO A WUSS
This is one of the biggest mistakes that men
make when they meet a woman that they REALLY like.
I get a lot of emails from guys saying "I met
this girl, and I used everything I've learned from
Double Your Dating to get her... but now that
we've been seeing each other for awhile things are
changing, and I'm starting to lose control of how
I act... and I'm turning into my old Wussy
self..."
As I'm sure you can guess, this is bad bad bad
for attraction.
When you start out by doing things that are
attractive to her, then gradually turn into a WUSS
BAG, you go from her wildest dream to her worst
nightmare right in front of her eyes.
If you figure out how to make a woman feel
ATTRACTION for you, then KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE
DOING!
Don't start being a clingy Wuss. Translation:
Don't spend every day and night with her, don't
buy her groceries, and don't try to get her into a
relationship fifteen minutes after you meet her.
You also mentioned a few little words that
stood out for me: "I kept coming over...".
YOU kept coming over. When you're the one
coming to her, then she's the one in control.
Think about it. This is a small point, and it
isn't always the case, but in this situation it
makes a difference.
So, what should you do now?
You should give her some space. Don't call her
more than once or twice a week, and don't see her
more than once or twice a week for awhile. Don't
pressure her physically, and don't try to push for
a relationship.
DATE OTHER WOMEN! Get out there and go out with
some other women... and when you talk to her don't
hide the fact that you're doing it. Be casual
about it, but feel free to mention it in
conversation once or twice.
GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE
Don't get hung up, don't obsess about her, and
don't make it important to "win her back". Just
move on.
This combination will give you the greatest
chance of winning her back...
And the next time you meet a beautiful woman
that has an interesting personality, DON'T TURN
INTO A PREDICTABLE, BORING, CLINGY, WUSSY!
You've done a great job getting this far. Now
get back in there and take this to the next level!
~David DeAngelo
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