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Title: Savior
Characters: Heechul, Sungmin.(But not as a couple)
Rating: PG-13
Length: Oneshot
Word Count: 700
Warnings: Eating disorders, character death
A/N: Yeah~ 2nd fic! I don’t own Heechul or Sungmin

Heechul woke up drenched in sweat, gasping for breath. The nightmares had been bothering him more than usual over the past week. He looked around, checking to make sure no one had been awakened by him, and slipped out of the bedroom he was sharing with Sungmin during their trip to China. He opened the door to the balcony, taking care to shut it quietly. Once he was sure that he couldn't be seen from the inside, he let himself collapse against the wall, exhausted.

"Why won't they ******** leave me alone?" He whispered angrily to himself. He asked this often. Every time he looked in the mirror, every time a plate of food was put in front of him, His inner demons told him to starve himself. Told him that he would never be adequate, would never be enough.

This latest dream had been happy at first. He had been shopping for clothes for an interview with the rest of Super Junior. But as he stepped into the dressing room, his eyes traveled to his reflection. Most of his teeth and hair were missing, and he was extremely fat. But no one else saw him the way he saw himself.

He closed his eyes, hoping to block out the hurt, and let himself fall back to sleep. He was woken an hour later by Sungmin.

"Heechul? It’s raining, you shouldn’t be outside."

He whirled around, surprised by the sudden voice. He hadn’t noticed the rain either. As Sungmin neared him, Heechul tried to smile. It wasn't very convincing.

"Um, is something wrong? You look sick..." asked Sungmin curiously.

He shook his head, determined to appear fine. Heechul couldn't show anyone his weakness. He had to set an example for the younger members. How would it look if his problem was discovered?

"Well, I’m making breakfast. It'll be ready in a few minutes."

Heechul was about to say that he wasn’t hungry, but thought better of it. “I have to eat…set a good example…” “Okay, I’ll eat it” he said reluctantly.

Sungmin watched Heechul push the food around his plate, wondering why he wasn’t eating much. But it seemed rude to ask him if he was sick again. He resolved to keep an eye on Heechul if he continued avoiding meals.

Heechul forced the food into his mouth, feeling every bite weigh him down more. “I’m going to have to get this out of me…” He quickly excused himself, hurrying towards the bathroom. Sungmin, sensing what was happening, silently followed him.

Heechul knelt in front of the toilet, too preoccupied to notice Sungmin.

“Don’t!” Sungmin yelled as Heechul stuck his finger down his throat. He watched, horrified, as Heechul crumpled against the toilet, panting.

“Heechul, you can’t do this to yourself!” the younger boy cried. “I won’t let you hurt yourself like this!”

“Be quiet. I can do whatever I want.” Heechul lunged towards Sungmin, clamping his hand over the boy’s lips. “And if you tell anyone, or the tabloids find out, your life will be living hell from then on.” Heechul unsteadily got up, walking towards the balcony. Sungmin started to follow him, but Heechul pushed him away. He staggered outside, and slumped against the wall. Only then did he allow the tears to pour down his cheeks. He traced the scars on his wrists, the slashes on his legs. He wanted the pain that had been running his life for so long to end. I’m sorry, I’m sorry… he whispered as he brought his savior to the vein, piercing the skin. He felt himself slowly lose consciousness.

When Sungmin worked up the courage to go after him, it was already too late.

*****************************************************************************

When the tears started pouring down your cheeks,
Pouring without reason,
You lost your purpose to live.
Wounds, scars, and tears are pouring out,
But I will save you.

When I'm walking in the dark, you are my savior.
When you give me your hand, you are my savior.

Do you think this is the end?
I believe in you.
I will save you.

Are you hurt?
Are you scarred?
Are you stumbling in the darkness?
You're still beautiful to me…
You’re still beautiful to me.