Chapter Two:
Please don’t take my sunshine away.
“Mummmm,” Ethan hummed again, patting my cheek.
I opened my eyes to see Ethan towering over me. “Yes, Sunshine,” I murmured, sitting up and scooping Ethan up into my lap. Ethan stuck his thumb into his mouth and started sucking.
“Mummmm,” Ethan whined impatiently, pouting. I knew that face, he was hungry.
“Are you hungry, Sunshine?” I asked, pulling out his bottle of apple juice and a bag of animal crackers. He nodded enthusiastically reaching for his animal crackers. He unzipped the ziplock bag and shoved a lion into his mouth. And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb. And Ethan was the result of it.
I growled playfully at Ethan and attacked him with tickles. He giggled adorably and smiled his father’s crooked grin.
“Mmmm,” he hummed as he slobbered over the cracker. I kissed Ethan’s soft copper hair as he munched on the animals. He looked up at me and offered me his monkey. I took a little bite and then he shoved the rest into his waiting mouth.
Ethan finished not too long after, with a whole mess of crumbs on his brown hoodie. Now he lay on my chest, sucking on his bottle. He closed his eyes moments later. I moved my hand to rub his back comfortingly and tucked his head under my chin. And once again, he was breathing deeply and peacefully. I closed my eyes again.
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you.
I sang for Ethan.
“Please don’t take my sunshine away,” a velvet voice finished for me. My breath caught in my throat. Could it be? I opened my eyes to see the man I would know anywhere approach me with unwavering grace. He was seated on the blanket next to me in the next second. He raised his cool hand and slowly and softly traced Ethan’s delicate spine. “Being human, is so beautiful,” he murmured softly as he carefully and gently ruffled Ethan’s soft, wavy hair.
“Edward,” I whispered from my position with Ethan lying on my chest. “You’re really here.”
“Yes, Love. I’m really here and so are you,” he promised softly as to not wake Ethan up. “He’s perfect,” he murmured, dazzled.
“He really is.” I saw Edward’s eyes sparkle with want and longing. I looked down to see a golden wedding band on his left ring finger. A huge lump formed in my throat, closing it up. “You’re married,” I croaked sadly.
“Yes, and so are you,” he replied just as sadly. “To who?” He tried his hardest not to growl, I could see that.
“Jacob Black,” I whispered looking anywhere but into his eyes.
“Why do you seem sad? Aren’t you happy to be with him?” he demanded.
“Yes and no,” I answered, looking down at my son.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked confused.
“Yes, Jacob comforted me while you were gone. But no, because…I don’t want to be…I don’t.” Before I could finish, I broke into tears.
“Bella, what is it?” he asked concerned.
“I don’t want to be with..anyone but you,” I whispered barely audible for even my ears to hear.
“Oh, Bella,” Edward sighed lying down next to me. “I feel exactly the same way,” he whispered into my ear.
“But you are married, too,” I reminded him. “And besides you said that you didn’t want me anymore,” I choked out as Edward kissed the hollow beneath my ear.
“That was all a lie, love. I just wanted you to be safe. I didn’t want to keep you in constant danger because we both wanted a life together. I couldn’t do that to you. I love you so much that I had to let you go. But I love you too much to stay away, so here I am.”
“But you are married,” I repeated.
“I do not love Tanya, Bella. I was forced to marry her. My family just wanted to see me ‘happy’, but I can’t be happy without you.”
“Edward, I love you, too. I…I..” I struggled for words. I was speechless.
“You can’t, I understand.”
“Wha…What are you saying? What do you mean?”
“You have a son, I understand,” Edward whispered looking away, to the forest, to Ethan then back at me. When we locked gazes, I could see the agony behind his stoic façade.
“Jacob Black isn’t his father,” I choked.
EPOV
Jacob Black, that werewolf! But he isn’t the baby’s father? But Bella is married to him.
“What do you mean?” I demanded.
“Jacob Black isn’t his father, that’s all,” she recovered, shrugging. Almost instantaneously, her son woke, his chocolate brown eyes opening to greet me.
“Hello, Sunshine,” Bella spoke directly to him. He squealed at the sight of his mother and smiled a familiar grin.
“Mummm,” he hummed as he sat up on Bella’s stomach. He looked at me curiously, tilting his head to the side. His eyebrow furrowed as he stared at me.
“Yes, Sunshine?” Bella asked ruffling his wavy bronze hair. Wavy bronze hair.
“Dada, dada, dada,” her son screeched bouncing on Bella’s stomach, pointing a tiny chubby finger at me.
“No, honey,” Bella said.
“Dada?” the baby whispered reaching out for me, confused. I reached out and caught his tiny hand.
“What’s his name?” I asked as I played with his tiny chubby fingers.
“Ethan Scott Swan,” Bella spoke biting her lip.
“Ethan,” I started. “That’s a cute name for a handsome baby. Would you mind if I held him?” I asked hopeful. This was probably the only time I’d get to hold a baby.
Bella nodded instantly and I could see that there was something deep down that she wanted to say. I could see it in her eyes. “No, not at all,” she answered handing Ethan over to me. I took Ethan into my lap and held him to me. I wish I was human for Bella. We could be like a normal family. I could give her a baby, a family of her own. But I knew that would never be possible. Even if it was, she has a kid with another guy. Ethan.
Once I had Ethan settled in my lap, facing my chest, I spoke. “Why do you call him Sunshine?”
Bella looked uneasy as she struggled for words. “Ethan was…the only reason I didn’t fall into depression. Once I found out I was carrying him, I started eating again, c-caring for my health. But sometimes, it g-got hard,” she explained. “There was a time when I was pregnant with him that hormones and memories got the best of me. I was really depressed; thinking of you would never come back. I couldn’t take it. I thought that you never loved me.” Bella paused allowing me to absorb everything she said. I took the time to look into Bella’s eyes, then down at Ethan.
“Dada,” he sighed contently as he clutched my shirt in two fists. He looked up at me as I stared at his familiar unruly hair. Somehow, it looked just like mine. As I looked at his face, I recognized bits and pieces of my own physical features—my nose, my smile.
“I was so depressed that no one could help me. One day, it got to be too much and I couldn’t take it anymore. I t-took a whole b-bottle of T-t-Tylenol 3 pills,” she was sobbing. “I was rushed to the hospital once Charlie, Billy and Jake talked the truth out of me. I was about six months along, then. They told me that there was a great chance that the pills killed Ethan. I can’t believe I almost killed him. I was so selfish, so stupid. I’m s-sorry,” she cried. I wrapped my arms around her and finally when she looked up at me, I pressed my lips to hers. It felt really good, to have her close to me again. It felt like nothing else I felt in a long time. It was love.
Bella responded by wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing back passionately. I moved my mouth and kissed a trail to her ear. “I love you. But why are you sorry.”
“I almost killed Ethan, out of my stupidity and carelessness.”
“But he’s here now,” I said confused.
“You don’t understand…”
BPOV
“You don’t understand,” I explained.
“What do I not understand?” Edward asked, arching a perfect eyebrow.
I hesitated. He needs to know. “I…I almost killed our son,” I whispered.
Peachybear89 Community Member 
|
|
