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Status: Reflection
Mood: Depressed
Listening to: Realm~Lestat
I've been feeling pretty crappy since my first year of college ended. There's nothing to do, yet so much I want to. It's been approx. 3 weeks and all I've done is that of what the moon does. Awakens at night, sheds a smaller amount of light than the sun on one subject, then goes down again to sleep.
Generally I'm okay as long as I roleplay with a certain someone but they won't come back online until the 26th. How long can someone wait? Yes, rp's are like my crack. I'm sure many have heard this line. You go flat out cold turkey and it destroy's the mind.
I've been so far pre-occupying myself with books by Anne Rice. My love of Vampires not subsiding. Not that I'd want it to. I adore a good vampire novel. And when I say vampire I do not mean those shining in the sunlight vampires that some in this generation have come to beleive is what a vampire is like. I would like to find more vampire books like Anne Rice's, although I doubt I will.
It's sort of funny how they place her work in the horror section of fiction. Down right hilarious to me anyway. I chuckled silently when I searched up Queen of the damned today. I could not beleive it was in horror as vampires are not horrific to me. Somehow I doubt even a child would be horrified by it, but that is just my view.
Like lestat.....I shudder to think I am in anyway like him, reflecting on interview with the vampire, but....like lestat, I long for the companionship of another. For a couple weeks I have not had that. My friend whom I have contacted, has not contacted me in a month which makes me wounder what our relationship is anymore. Are we still friends or is it done? The bad part of going to different school's is that people drift away...always drifting...fleeting. What you think will last forever fades more quickly then how it all started.
Perhaps I just have this loner nature to me. My friends don't seem to stay my friends long, though I do not take advantage of them. I do create a certain amount of space but that is much needed once and a while. Lonliness is but a burden. Which is why I was so afraid my dog was going to be put down when at the animal clinic. The overwhelming thought of death, rest, solitude, chained and bounded. All passed threw my mind. The only companion that had stayed by my side for 12 years. If he was gone, I do not know what I would do. Surley there would be nothing left.
A memory is only a memory, such as my writting this now will become a memory. Which it already is. All our life is what is in the present, and what was our life is a second in the past. Rather pointless in it's time.
 Marcus unleashed · Mon May 11, 2009 @ 09:42pm · 0 Comments |
