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so there are a couple things that really made me think...

OH first thhings first!

I started playing final fantasy X again, and I love it! I can kill the final boss in like one minute without breaking a sweat lol...

okay now for some more important things...

I had a dream maybe a week ago and I didn't tell anyone about it because it was just too weird... I didn't even tell Rebecca about it...

so here it is...

This is the whole dream...

I was floating in the ocean, but it was calm. There were no waves.
and suddenly I realized that the sky wasn't the right color, it wasn't the blue of a perfect day, it wasn't the grey of an overcast wonder, it wasn't th orange of a sunset, it was white... white like the clouds, because that's exactly where I was.

It turns out that I had died, and God spoke to me. He said that I couldn't see him because my eyes were not holyenough, and that I couldn't feel him, because I still longed for the touch of a mortal.

I told him that if I could only see him that I would live with him forever, and be his most loving (I guess this is the only word i can think of) son.

I asked him if I could have my life back so that I could tell everyone about him.

He said that I was wrong in wanting this. That people should not be told or forced into the way of God, but that they should find their own path to him. I asked him if I was ready to be saved, I asked if there was a way that I could be with my love on earth, and my almighty love in heaven.

he told me that in all of time there has never been a couple who found each other in heaven, but that I could look for her when we are united in the afterlife.

He told me that I could look for all eternity, but that I might never find her.

I cried that night... for a good long while...