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The Chilli Pepper Effect-Don't Let Your Moms Watch Concerts! |
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Today my mother and I watched her Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert DVD. She
went wild, dancing like nobody's business and singing aloud while I sat and
laughed. After about 2 hours into it things had gotten a little out of hand. We (me,
her and my 2 brothers) had all consumed quite a large amount of sugar and had
basically lost our minds. We danced wildly (yes, I am ashamed) and began a
barking competition to see who could get our Great Dane puppy to howl (we the
hell outta scared him). That caused more raucous laughter followed by dancing.
Our Husky mix Jasmine slobbered on my arm and I screamed in disgust (that kind
of stuff kills me). My mother laughed her a** off at me and fell to the floor.
Eventually she sat next to me and watched the DVD in peace (or, at least the
closest we could get to peace) while my brothers danced. She apparently got
slobbered on too and blamed me (how the hell could it be my fault!? O.o). She
tried to wipe it off on me and I screamed, reared my arm back and slapped her in
the arm. She half screamed half laughed and stared at me. It was a reflex;
seriously. I couldn't help it.^^ She tried again, testing me, and my arm reared back
again. She said "Giirrllll, don't you rear your arm back at me", which made me
laugh. She took this as an opportunity get back at me and slapped me in the arm.
I gasped, stared at her and then smiled. I slapped her on the arm again and then
she slapped me and I slapped her.....5 seconds later we're in a slap fight with my
brothers laughing. Only when the Pepper's lead singer took his shirt off did my
mother get distracted and peace resumed...but for how long? O.o Only about 20
minutes actually. You see, we were dancing again and my brother threw a plastic
stick/bat thing across the room. My mother dodged it with her oh so elegant dance
moves, kicking me and knocking me to the floor in the process. I promptly got up
and wacked her in the leg with the stick/bat. We laughed and she tried to take it
from me. Knowing what my fate would be should she get it, I dodged and ran
across the room. She came at me, which freaked me out, so I began hitting her in
self defense. So I'm laughing and screaming and she's all "Mwuahaha" while my
brothers stare. She really tried to get me and I knew she would hurt me if I didn't
completely avoid her every strike, so, panicked I ran behind my youngest brother
screaming "Will, protect me! O meh Gawd, did u see her face? She's gonna kill
me!" So I'm holding him in front of me by the shirt while she's attacking and
Michael just laughs in the distance. I did however discover a weakness in the
monster - coffee tables. My mom has like 3 small coffee tables in her living room
all covered in stuff. I knocked one over and she spun around gasping to pick it up.
This gave me time to collect myself for more attacks and my eventual escape. She
finished in under 30 seconds and came at me with the intent to kill. Fighting
resumed until my flimsy brother shield fell to the floor. Barely escaping her claws I
tore across the room to Michael my other bro and refilled the position. We ran to
the other side of the room and I threw down 2 more tables. This threw her into a
frenzy of cleaning, kicking at me as she ran to the crime scene. I made for the exit
to the living room but, decidedly not letting me escape she left the spilled tables
forgotten and came at me Mwuahaing again. I screamed, unarmed and without a
small child to protect myself, but was saved when Michael barreled into her and
held her to the couch. He screamed "Run sis, nowww!!!" and I tore out of the room.
I ran into the bathroom and locked the door; ending another war.
 Mizake - chan · Sun Mar 08, 2009 @ 02:35am · 1 Comments |
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